


blue eyes and cherry cheeks

by bokeae



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - American High School, Character Development, Drug Use, Fluff, Jealous Hinata Shouyou, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Kinda Jealous Kageyama Tobio, M/M, Pining Hinata Shouyou, Sexual References, Slow Burn, aLSO FLIRTING EXCESSIVE FLIRTING, also miscommunication, also parties, and hinata has a Phat Crush on him, everyone thinks kageyamas hot, hinata is just intimidated by everyone, hinata's insecure lmao, hinatas just confident at the wrong times o wait thats canon, hinatas on the track team, hinatas so fucking cute and a doting bf, kagehina but theyre in america, kageyama has a soft spot for hinata only, kageyama has commitment issues, kageyama is just really really pretty, kageyama is so whipped for him at the end, kageyamas also in Denial, kageyamas just emtionally stunted, kageyamas kind of a jerk, mentions of jerking off later lmao, so much staring, the other characters r there to add to kagehina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-01-24 10:18:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 53,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18569386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokeae/pseuds/bokeae
Summary: In where Hinata is constantly overwhelmed by the metallic blue in Kageyama's eyes and Kageyama can only click his tongue at Hinata's inability to be subtle (while blushing rouge but that has nothing to do with Hinata, not at all).(alternatively, Hinata is a new student in America and their ethnicity is the only thing they have in common).





	1. bishounen

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably be super inaccurate bc like,,, i'm australian and im writing about america from a japanese perspective oof. this is super super indulgent i just wanted to write smth purposely western bc its a fun concept! 
> 
> also i normally dislike adding made up characters in my fics but it couldn't really be helped here but they're all there to just,,,enable kagehina and add perspective 
> 
> anyways, yeah, this is random, i just wanted to write hinata pining after kageyama in the most obvious way possible and kageyama just going from ((╬◣﹏◢)) to (⁄ ⁄•⁄﹏•⁄ ⁄); bc of hinata. i hope i did their characters justice 
> 
> my twt is [bokeae](https://twitter.com/bokeae) if anyone wants to scream with me about kagehina.

Kageyama Tobio.

Hinata had heard about him before they locked eyes.

He was supposedly really tall, really scary and the only other Japanese student in the school.

Adam had told him to steer away from him, he has killed a _man_. He said it slowly- too slowly, enunciating every syllable, distorting his face and using his hands to sign.

“Um-! I understand English by the way!” Hinata said, smiling slightly.

“Oh.”

Hinata didn’t care- this Kageyama person wasn’t in any of his classes so far and he was skilled at avoiding bullies and others who were gifted with intimidation.

He sat with girls for lunch- because they thought he was cute and tiny which he found annoying- but not annoying enough to leave. They also thought he couldn’t understand them.

He untucked his chopsticks from his wrapped bento pack. The girls laughed, called him cute while they stared.

He yelled he wasn’t cute and one of the girls- Ellie- poked the little dent around between his forehead. American girls were touchy, he had realised, and it caught him off guard. He blushed and stabbed at the pork cutlet his mother had made for him.

American girls were intimidating in such a _loud_  way. They had wild hair- Ellie’s hair was fucking _pink_ , Tania’s shirt was a blazing red- the whole cafeteria was swimming with colours. They laughed every time he answered their questions or when he would ramble on about Japan. He couldn’t tell what they were laughing at, why they were even laughing, he was just talking- maybe it was his voice? His accent?

He didn’t see Kageyama Tobio then, but both the girls tensed up when he passed their table, leaving nothing but a memory for those who were watching. Hinata’s head had been down, contemplating if he should eat the fried crab mushrooms or not.

The girls began talking rapidly, quick gasps of, “did you see what he was wearing? What the fuck- what the actual- how- he looks so _good_ -?”

“Right? Right? Right? God, I’d pay him to step on me-”

“He got another piercing- fuck.”

It was a rush of words to Hinata, he was confused and genuinely concerned-

He tried asking, “you want someone to _step_ on you? Why?! That’s a mean thing for them to do, why would you want that?!”

The girls laughed again. They never explained it, too busy trying to catch breaths between teary wheezes and snorts.

By the end of lunch, Hinata had decided Kageyama Tobio- whoever the fuck- was overrated. Just hearing his name pissed him off.

It took him three days to really meet Kageyama.

Hinata stopped by his lockers, to swap some books and to also think about how he could redecorate. There were Batman stickers on the door and Hinata scratched at it with blunt nails, frowning at the dried gum trapped behind the sticker. There was another figure next to him, tall- kinda threatening but then again, Hinata found everyone in this school threatening.

He looked over and he genuinely couldn’t stop looking.

The figure- guy, this guy’s back was facing him and he was staring into a stained mirror blu-tacked to his locker door. He was haphazardly smearing clear lip balm to his lips. It went over the lines of his lips which he wiped away with fingers covered in bandaids.

His hair draped over his face but if Hinata stared hard enough, he could make out the steel blue of his eyes.

He was really fucking pretty.

But at the same time, he looked _dangerous_.

Then he locked eyes with Hinata through the mirror and turned around, a scowl painting the sharp lines of his face.

“What do you want?” He asked, his voice deep, almost husky and Hinata felt his knees wobble slightly.

He had a slight accent and his collarbones were peeking out and it was all too much for Hinata to handle so he stayed quiet while his eyes roamed up and down.

He was tall and his ears were decorated in piercings. He was also waiting for some sort of an answer while all Hinata could do was make a series of _“u-um’s”_ and _“uhh’s.”_

Either way, there was no reason for this incredibly pretty human to stay so he threw his lip balm into his locker, slamming the door before it could roll back out. His eyes flickered up and down Hinata before rolling them with a click of his tongue. Hinata touched the hem of his shirt, feeling self conscious about his fashion sense and general height or...lack thereof. The boy- the _pretty_  boy left muttering under his breath while fixing the collar of his varsity jacket which spelt out _“KAGEYAMA”_  in letters as bold as his presence.

Hinata told the girls about it the next time he saw them. They said he was a lucky bitch.

He thought about the hierarchy in the school, was Kageyama at the top? Was he to be crowned prom king or whatever?

No- the girls were just dramatic. They fawned over any attractive boy who passed, murmuring violent fantasies to each other while giggling. Hinata still didn’t get it.

Hinata shared two classes with Kageyama. He found out on Wednesday as he shuffled through pages of History notes with short Japanese translations next to them.

Classes were usually loud, teachers always yelled and students always yelled back. It scared Hinata at first but nothing much came of it. Sometimes students asked personal questions, grinning and staring at each other and sometimes the teachers answered, crossing their legs over their desks.

He told Yamaguchi all about it on his second day when they skyped.

 _They sit on their desks Yamaguchi,_ he had said, slipping back into his mother tongue. Yamaguchi had covered his mouth, _even the teachers?_

 _Especially the teachers,_  Hinata had answered, pressing his earphones into his ears.

It shocked him for a while, _the Americans don't care for furniture, for teachers, for- for anything._

Yamaguchi had hummed when Hinata ranted, his cheeks turning red.

Yamaguchi told him he should understand that they are two different cultures, the Americans have different customs, different rules. _They’re not disrespectful, Hinata-kun, just different to you._

Hinata had felt ashamed after that quiet talk, he shouldn’t be judging. He sat on the desk when he came early and Ellie sat on the desk next to him. 

It took him a good week to adjust to the casual tone held by teachers, to the fact that students didn’t have to stand up when it was their turn to read, the fact that discussions were spontaneous but worthwhile.

It was fun and weird and when Kageyama sat down behind him, Hinata would forget how to move. Nothing changed in class, some guys would lightly punch Kageyama’s shoulder, “tired of skipping?”  

Kageyama only grunted in reply, his chin lifted up to stare right into their eyes.

Hinata kept staring too, peeking over his shoulder to sneak glances at Kageyama. He looked away before Kageyama had the chance to catch his eye.

Class began, they had a substitute who seemed scarier than their actual teacher. Hinata avoided eye contact at all costs while Ellie tried to catch his attention by nudging his foot with her long leg just to say "hi."

His shoulders were unnecessarily tense the whole time, he could feel Kageyama’s _shrewd_  stare on his nape, on his back, on both his ears at the same time. Perhaps he was imagining things. Perhaps he was too aware of Kageyama’s existence. He tried to not be awkward under his constant gaze so twirled his pen between his fingers,  just so he had something to do with his hands when the teacher was reading off worksheets. His pen flicked to the ground and he bit his tongue. It rolled pretty far, it stopped under someone’s bag and Hinata gawked at his hands.

He didn’t want to ask, he didn’t want to interrupt the substitute, especially since the substitute looked like he could beat him to pulp with his voice.

Louis, the boy adjacent to him ducked down and grabbed the pen quickly before handing it over to Hinata.

“Thank you,” Hinata whispered and Louis nodded.

The substitute handed Juno who sat by the first row a thick wad of worksheets, “take one and pass them along,” he muttered with a tired sigh.

It was weirdly nerve wracking, Hinata realised he would have to turn around and hand Kageyama paper. It _shouldn’t_ be nerve wracking, Hinata should be able to do this simply-

The wad of worksheets landed on his desk and his mind blew blank. He whipped around quickly with the worksheets and without breathing, he handed them over to Kageyama who was busy drawing black rings around his fingers.

“Um,” he said, trying to get his attention and Kageyama’s eyes snapped to meet his. The eye contact was too confrontational, too challenging, too scary and Hinata looked down to the paper.

“Is that all you can say?” Kageyama asked without looking for an answer. He snatched the sheets, leaving one for himself before leaning back. The long lines of his neck were exposed and his jaw seemed sharper from the angle.

Hinata couldn’t stop looking so he stared, his eyes refusing to blink. Kageyama slumped down into his chair and looked at Hinata’s awed gaze. He clicked his tongue, his eyes narrowed.

“What? _You’re pissing_ _me off,”_ He spat and Hinata whipped around, his heart beating too hard and his cheeks bleeding with crimson.

“Sorry!” he yelped, turning his attention to his faded pencil case, his blank book, the pen he tried not to touch.

He had forgotten to take a sheet for himself.

The substitute- Mr Lee- started reading and Hinata tapped his desk, contemplating the consequences for interrupting.

A minute- two minutes passed and he stayed quiet. It was too late to ask for a worksheet now, anyways.

Mr Lee asked a few students to read, reading their names off the roll with a frown.

“Sh- Show...you. Uh, Hi-nata, continue from the fourth paragraph.”

Hinata stood up even though he didn’t need to. He gaped at his desk, stayed quiet for a few seconds.

“I don’t have paper,” he said.

The class was usually loud, usually red with screeching laughter and whispered gossip. The chatter simmered down slightly as students absentmindedly turned their gaze to Hinata’s quiet shame.

“How...do you not have a sheet but Tobio does?”

Hinata fidgeted in his spot, “Uh, I forgot to take one,” he admitted quietly.

There were some snickers throughout the class and Mr Lee glared at Hinata as he glared at his own hands.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Mr Lee walked over to hand Hinata a spare sheet.

“I didn’t want...interrupt you,” Hinata fumbled, sitting down.

“Uh huh,” Mr Lee raised an eyebrow.

“Relax a bit, yeah sir? He’s new,” Ellie said and Hinata stared at her with wide eyes.

“Yeah? Where are you from?” Mr Lee asked, sitting on top of the desk.

“Japan,”

“Huh, Tobio’s Japanese too, right? Maybe he can help him out with passing paper around,” Mr Lee snickered and Hinata stayed both confused and offended. The class laughed and turned to Kageyama who had his head ducked down under his hood.

He didn’t move his head and Mr Lee swayed to stand next to him, staring down at Kageyama’s hands which were hidden under his desk. Kageyama moved sluggishly after a few seconds and looked quietly at Mr Lee.

They held eye contact for a while and Hinata screamed internally at the tense air. Mr Lee held out a hand and Kageyama sighed, handing him his phone.

It made Hinata feel better- Kageyama hadn’t been watching him stand up in front of the class and make a fool of himself. Maybe he didn’t think Hinata was an idio-

“Even a fucking kid knows how to pass around paper,” Kageyama remarked and Mr Lee yelled at him to mind his language, _don’t say it like that, Tobio._

Hinata spun around to glare at Kageyama. It had no effect on Kageyama, he wore a bored look and Hinata turned back around, too annoyed and embarrassed to actually read.

Kageyama was a bit of a jerk, but he was hot so Hinata was internally conflicted.

Chemistry was usually fun. The class was uneven and Tania was in the class as well. They were ok with Hinata joining and class usually consisted of cheek pinches and ruffled hair.

“Why do you do that so much?” Hinata fixed his hair back and pouting.

“‘Cause you’re so cute, Shou...yoo,” Tania said.

“You can call me Shou, if you want to.”

Hinata yelled a lot in class, especially when the different beakers and chemicals were unpacked. The girls always let him mix first, laughing at his overdramatic yelps.

Kageyama showed up to class on Thursday and suddenly the class was even.

“Shouyou, partner up with Tobio ok? He can help you if you get stuck, you’re both Japanese right?”

“Uh, y-yeah!”

Kageyama only glared. He had an earring on today, it dangled by his shoulder and Hinata couldn’t look away.

It was stressful standing next to Kageyama but Hinata was determined to leave a better impression- he was talented with the ability to make friends with the coldest of introverts.

“Let’s work well together!” Hinata smiled, holding a hand out. 

Kageyama glowered at his hand and tucked his own into his pocket.

“I wanna work by myself,” he declared. Mrs Jones regarded him with a glare.

“No, help Shouyou. And be nice.”

“I am nice,” Kageyama muttered while clicking his teeth, “whatever.”

Hinata tried to keep his eyes to himself throughout the whole equipment setup, it was rude to stare anyways, he didn’t want to come off as a _rude_  idiot- but that was too late, probably.

Kageyama didn’t help, he sat on his stool, his safety goggles lying on the side. He stared at his phone, tapping away in boredom.

Hinata looked over at Ellie and Tania who shrugged helplessly, _good luck,_ they seemed to say.

While Kageyama was pretty and intimidating, those weren’t valid excuses for him to not do anything and Hinata told him this much.

“Hey, you should help out a bit, I can’t hold and write results at same time,” Hinata said. He waited for Kageyama’s response, his eyes flickered over to him every few seconds.

“Don’t care,” Kageyama said finally.

 _“Sensei_ \- uh- miss told you to be nice,” Hinata remarked.

“You saying I’m being mean right now?”

“N- yes! You have to help me... part of being nice.”

Kageyama snatched the worksheet from the table and looked at the instructions before slamming it down on the table.

“Are you seriously telling me that you can’t do this shit by yourself?” He asked, staring at Hinata in the most confrontational way possible.

Hinata blushed red, “N-Yea- I don’t know! What the point of you being lab partner if we don’t do this together?”

“Who cares? It’s just a dumb experiment, stop being so fucking dependent on others,” Kageyama snapped after filtering away the mistakes in Hinata's speech. He turned back to his phone.

People were beginning to stare but Hinata couldn’t give a fuck, Kageyama- he- he was _such_  an asshole, he had such a bad attitude- who gave him the _right_ -

“It’s better than being useless,” he shot back and some boys in the back clapped their hands over their mouth, their laughter muffled.

Kageyama’s glare bore into his eyes but Hinata refused to look away- it was a challenge he welcomed.

Kageyama stood up and loomed over Hinata, his eyes refusing to blink. Hinata’s eyes twitched and he blinked rapidly but he refused to look away.

The pause was too long. Kageyama had beautiful eyes. This was not the time.

Fuck, the class was too quiet.

“I would rather be useless than depend on an _idiot_  who doesn’t even know how to pass paper around. What else can’t you do? Keep your damn eyes to yourself? Do this dumbass experiment independently? You sure I’m the useless one here?”

Hinata grabbed onto the counter, his knees almost buckling. Kageyama’s glare was _intense_ \- so fucking intense- it almost drew tears to Hinata’s eyes.

He blinked quickly, trying to hold back the tears that were already lining his eyes.

Mrs Jones told Kageyama to _stop, leave Shouyou alone, go outside, breathe a little-_

Kageyama stormed out and with an angry huff, Hinata followed.

“You have no right to be so arrogant!” Hinata yelled. Kageyama looked surprised for a second before he snorted.

“Please, I have more right than you.”

Students spilled through the door with their phones out and Hinata clenched his fists.

“You’re just spoiled coward-” Kageyama loomed over him. He stepped forward until Hinata was forced to step back and he slid up against a row of empty lockers.

Kageyama didn’t say much, he only cut apart Hinata with his glare. Hinata remembered getting lost in the forests at witching hour after his mother recounted ghost stories. This moment, with Kageyama’s cold breath mingling with his and eyes piercing right into his deepest thoughts, was worse than the fearsome memory.

Still- _still_ this guy, no matter how pretty, no matter how intimidating- he had no right to look down on Hinata with such anger, such hatred.

Hinata clenched his teeth together, his whole body shaking, his top lip shaking, “nothing to say, huh?”

Kageyama’s eyes widened and he pounded a fist against the metallic doors beside Hinata’s head. He screwed his eyes shut, his ear ringing and his breath stuck against his throat.

Louis grabbed Kageyama’s shoulder and Kageyama shrugged him off before stepping back.

_“Don’t fucking touch me.”_

Mute, Hinata was rendered mute.

“You alright?” Louis asked and stared at him with wide, wide eyes.

“That was so _scary_ ,” he said, laughing to hide his discomfort.

“Bruh, he wasn’t even looking at me but I felt that,” Tania said.

Ellie asked if he was ok at lunch and Hinata nodded.

“He’s an uh… I don’t know English word but he’s  _bakayarou_ ,” Hinata said.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Yes. Really bad. He sucks. I don’t like him but…” Hinata trailed off, sighing.

“But what?” Tania asked, shoving a couple of fries into her mouth.

“...he’s really nice to look at. But that makes me more mad.”

Tania choked on her fries and Ellie laughed.

“Ok, but mood,” Tania said.

“In a no homo way?” Ellie asked.

“What’s that?”

“Like...you think he’s pretty in a straight way? Or a gay way?”

Hinata tapped his chin in thought, “Dunno, maybe both.”

Ellie glanced at Tania before asking if Hinata would ever date Kageyama.

Hinata snorted.

“No thank you, he so _mean_ \- didn’ you hear what he said to me? I would if he wasn’t- a bakayarou,” Hinata complained.

Tania laughed, confused but she nodded, “it wouldn’t go well anyways.”

“Huh?” Hinata asked, slightly offended- what was she trying to say?

“He’s dated before- I don’t think it went well, he’s never really committed. He’s impulsive, I heard, one second he thinks he wants to date and the next he doesn’t give a fuck”

Hinata had whistled, confirming internally that he would never date Kageyama.

“Another reason to stay away from him, then,” Hinata pouted.

Hinata tried to not talk to Kageyama. It was surprisingly easy since Kageyama didn’t want to talk to him either.

But it meant Hinata could stare a lot more- especially in Chemistry since his seat was positioned behind Kageyama in the next row over. He had the perfect view of Kageyama’s jaw and cheekbones.

That is, when Kageyama was present in class.

Once he stared so hard he genuinely forgot why he hated him in the first place, until Kageyama turned around and fixed him with a nauseated glare. Hinata glared back, his cheeks red from getting caught, his cheeks red from renewed anger.

Sometimes Hinata would catch Kageyama next to his locker, swapping out books, rubbing lip balm over his reddened lips, loitering around, distracted by his phone.

The fact that Kageyama disliked him so strongly made Hinata feel _weird_ \- because it was so unnecessary and weird and just _why?_

Plus how could anyone not like Hinata?

Sometimes he would talk, “is that a love letter?” he asked when Kageyama was clearing out his already neat locker.

“Mind your own business.”

“Why do you need to be so- so...so-?”

He didn’t know the right word and Kageyama left before he could finish his sentence. Hinata yelled to himself, stomping out his frustrations.

He told Yamaguchi all about it that night. _Kageyama’s such an asshole, he’s so mean, Yamaguchi, he’s so mean!_

Yamaguchi asked if he was worse than Tsukishima and Hinata grunted. Maybe.

Yamaguchi hissed through his teeth, _good luck_ he said.

Ellie texted him after his call with Yamaguchi ended. It was hard texting them, their styles didn’t match with his- he abused caps lock while they remained calm, almost passive.

They were nice to talk to. Sometimes Hinata would reuse the “reaction pictures” they would send him and he would forward them to Yamaguchi.

The two used the group chat to send around pictures of hot guys during the night. Hinata avoided those conversations, they were dangerous territories.

It was 1am already and Hinata was sighing through pursed lips as he browsed through instagram to like group photos that he used to be in. He received a message from the group chat and his finger slipped, clicking on the notification.

 

_**taniasaur:** omg shou s hereeeeeeeee  _

_**shouyoyo_10:** HEYYYYY!!!!! {{ (>_<) }} _

_**elliephant:** oi i have a surprise for u _

_**elliephant** sent you a profile: **m1lkbo.y** _

 

Hinata glowered at the screen, at the profile, at the follower count.

It was Kageyama.

He didn’t seem to be following anyone at all and he only had three pictures up. Only one was of his face and it was by far the prettiest picture Hinata had seen.

It was blurry purposely and his bandaged hand was covering his mouth. Hinata couldn’t find it in himself to stay mad at him.

He saved them all, took screenshots of them- took an extra screenshot of his first picture ever.

It was his hand, bandaged with blue but Hinata could see his callouses, could see the veins denting out.

It looked hot.

It looked experienced.

_It was just a fucking hand._

 

_**shouyoyo_10:** I doNTK hOw to fEEL gUYS i Thnk i Hve a haNd kinK or sMth (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞_

_**taniasaur:** holy shit where did u learn that word_

_**shouyoyo_10:** Did i say it RITE?????? Ellie uses it AL THE TIM E_

 

Needless to say, Hinata stared extra hard in Chemistry. Especially when Kageyama spun his pen between his fingers. Especially when he cracked his knuckles. Especially when he ran his fingers through his hair, swiping it away from his eyes.

This was getting him nowhere and it drove both his friends mad.

“He hates me, what you want me to do?” Hinata asked, talking around the pink straw jammed into his cheek.

They sipped their own respective drinks in thought.

“He’s just like that.”

“What you saying? Is he really an- a- what’s that word? Asshole? Yeah- um, is he just always an asshole?”

“I suppose, yeah,” Tania said, “apparently he used to get into pretty rough fights- I think he has anger management issues or something. I dunno, if you leave him alone then he leaves you alone, that’s how things work.”

“Is he delinquent?” Hinata asked, slightly scared.

They both shrugged in symphony,

About a week later, Hinata got lost maybe for the fifth time.

He looked at the note plastered on the little window on the door. He had walked around the whole school searching for the elusive room the note directed him to.

The halls were quiet now, abandoned and Hinata really didn’t want a letter sent home for truanting.

10 minutes passed and he was near panic. Kageyama was walking by, a pass to go to the bathroom was poking out of his pocket and white earphones dangled from his hoodie.

“Kageyama! Hold up, wait!” He ran to his side and tugged on his sleeve.

“What the fuck do you wan-?”

“Uh.” Kageyama’s gaze honed in on Hinata, rendering him speechless again.

“Fuck off.” Kageyama snapped his arm away from Hinata’s loosened grip.

“No! Wait! Lost train of thought, um, where room 905? I can’t find it.”

“It’s upstairs on the other side of the building. Now fuck off.”

“I went but can’t find it. I’m really lost, please-”

“Wait, did you say 905? There’s no such thing, are you fucking blind?”

“Huh? No, the note said 905- and watch your language! You don’t need to swear all the time!”

Kageyama ignored Hinata’s demands to stop swearing, “Show me the note first, loser.”

Hinata led him to the second floor, quietly. He wanted to talk, say something that didn’t make him look dumb, pathetic and _blind_.

Nothing came to mind and Kageyama didn’t try to talk either. He stared at the note when Hinata pointed. He scrunched it in his hand and leered at Hinata.

“Idiot, it says 405. It’s a fucking 4.”

“How so?!” Hinata unfolded the paper and squinted at it, “oh.”

“That was a great waste of my time,” but before Kageyama could leave Hinata grabbed onto the sleeve of his jacket.

“I don’t know where room 405 is either.”

It was a lie. He did know but Kageyama was so close and he wasn’t being too much of an asshole.

“Third floor to the left.”

Hinata kept his gaze trained on Kageyama.

“Do you want me to fucking escort you there?” Kageyama sneered.

“I mean...could you?”

“No,” Kageyama said stiffly. Hinata tilted his head to the left.

“Well, I guess I’ll spend the rest of my period hanging with you! What you doing anyways?”

“405 is this way.”

Hinata grinned and skipped to walk by Kageyama’s side.

“Sooooo, do you hate school, Kageyama?” Hinata asked. Kageyama rolled his eyes, shoving his earphones back in and made a show of him turning his volume up. Hinata puffed out his cheeks and without warning, he tugged out an earphone.

“I asked you something. You have to reply! That’s how conversation works.”

“I don’t have to do shit.”

“Well what you listening to?” He tried to stick the earphone in his hand in his ear but Kageyama yanked it away.

“You’re so fucking annoying.”

“You too! But in different way. You’re annoying ‘cause you can’t hold a conversation. And you swear so much!”

“Mind your own fucking business,” Kageyama growled, “and I can hold a conversation. Just not with you.”

“Why?”

“I just said you’re annoying.”

“You too-”

“Shut up. Literally stop talking.”

Hinata stayed silent for a while, “oh, you never answered question.”

“Let it stay that way.”

“Come on, Kageyama! Do you hate school?”

“Who the fuck likes school?”

“I do! My friends are here. It’s more relaxed than my school in Japan. There I used to-”

“Didn’t ask. Anyways, we’re here.”

Hinata looked at the door in front of him. 405. He turned around, to maybe thank Kageyama but his back was already turned to Hinata, with the intention of leaving as fast as possible. It pissed him off _immensely_ , Kageyama virtually had no manners, but he was really pretty- but that was no _excuse_  and with hard and rapid blinks, Hinata huffed out his superficial aggression.

“You know, just because you a- a...uh- a _bishounen_  doesn’t mean you should look down on others! I’m- I’m trying to be nice to you but you’re so- you’re such a- you’re _like_  a bully but not really- I don’t know how say it in english-” Hinata prattled, pacing back and forth.

“I- you- _bishounen?!”_

Kageyama’s posture was frozen stiff, his eyebrows seemed to twitch, his cheeks seemed to burn red, his eyes seemed to flicker between shock and _Shock._

Hinata closed his mouth, eyes widening in slight shock, “did- did- did I say that? Out loud- I- wait-”

“What the fuck-”

“Um!” Hinata screeched, drowning out the sound of Kageyama’s words, “thanks for bringing me here! By the way! Forget I said anything!”

He remained mute all through class, his cheek pressed against the textbook. There went all his chances of building a good friendship- or even relationship with Kageyama.

He told Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, who was loitering in the back, refusing to say hi but content to listen to a second hand conversation- he told them about the encounter, how his mouth is too big for his stupid thoughts- he could've just left with a bye.

Their conversation paralleled his conversation with both Tania and Ellie.

“What the fuck…” Ellie whispered, her voice hoarse.

“How did you say that? To him? How?!”

“Bro you’re _stupid._ And brave, what the _hell_ -the fact that you could even talk to him for five minutes is one mind blowing thing, the fact that you called him _scum_ -”

“I didn’t call him scum!” Hinata yelped.

“Regardless! You’re going to get killed when he sees you again!” Tania yelled with Ellie nodding in the background.

“What’s a bish- bish...ownen?”

“I should start writing your eulogy.”

“Shou, what’s a bitch own nen?”

Hinata screamed internally and maybe externally too.

Avoiding the lockers was easy in theory, but Hinata never could handle easy things well.

“Who do you think you are?”

Kageyama slammed his own locker door shut and Hinata yelped. Kageyama forced Hinata’s locker door shut as well, almost closing the metal onto Hinata’s fingers.

He stared Hinata down, his glare tearing right through Hinata’s eyes, chest- entire _soul_.

“I- I-I I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hinata excused, backing away and almost stumbling on his laces, “Um, I got class now-”

“It’s home time.”

“I got home now-”

“No you don’t. What the fuck was all that about before?” Kageyama stalked closer to Hinata. Some students watched, talking among themselves loudly, _the midget's gonna get beat up, what the fuck-_

Hinata looked at the ground, pouting to himself, his nape collecting sweat.

“Um!” he cleared his throat, looking up to see Kageyama almost leaning into him with how much he loomed. He felt claustrophobic. He didn’t want to move.

“I’m sorry for...saying you’re a bully?”

Kageyama snorted, “forget about that, you think my beauty transcends the boundary of gender and sexuality?”

Hinata paused, his eyes flickering to the small crowd loitering to watch and he took a step back, his words dying on the edge of his tongue.

“No comment.”

“Jesus fucking _Christ,_  do you have a crush on me?” Kageyama glowered, his voice lowering to a spitting hush.

“No! I’m allowed to think people are attractive! Objectively! I think Tania and Ellie are both really pretty, but I don’t have a crush on them!”

Kageyama leered, “still, that’s weird.”

“What?”

“You saying gay shit like that!”

“I wasn’t supposed to say it out loud!”

“Yeah but you did.”

Hinata worried at his lips, his fingers tightening around his binder. The sparse crowd dispersed, leaving them to their own thoughts and stares.

“Sorry if it made you uncomfortable,” Hinata said.

“Not uncomfortable! Just...just-” Kageyama growled to himself, trying to find a word that captured his clustered emotions.

“You said it was weird.”

“Yeah it’s weird ‘cause no one’s ever said anything like that to me,” Kageyama said.

“Really?” Hinata pondered, “you should be a model, you know?”

Kageyama stared at him, a pretty pink blush sitting high on his cheekbones and neck. It was cute. Hinata refused to look away.

The soft look vanished abruptly and Kageyama scowled with enough ferocity to make Hinata step back.

“You piss me off. Don’t look at me, don’t talk to me and don’t you dare breathe my air.”

The soft, oblivious smile playing on Hinata’s lips disappeared and his eyes widened in loud shock.

“Huh?! Why would you say that to me, I just complimented you- oi, don’t walk away now! Why are you such a- a- an asshole?!” Hinata yelled, following Kageyama’s rushed steps. Kageyama whipped around to tower over Hinata.

“You. Piss. Me. Off.”

Hinata gazed at his retreating figure meld into the crowd of late students, his mouth hanging agape.

Hinata told Natsu he hated Kageyama. He hated Kageyama. _He hated Kageyama._

Natsu told him to shut up, _I’m watching dance videos_  and Hinata screamed into a pillow.

He ranted to Kenma instead, his fingers flew all over the keyboard and he scrunched up his nose- his fingers weren’t fast enough to follow his thoughts.

Kenma replied with a _wow. You shouldn’t have called him a bishounen, Shouyou._

But Hinata knew that, he fucking knew.

By the time a full month passed, Hinata decided that transforming his repressed anger concerning Kageyama into adrenaline for sport was a better idea than sulking.

Kageyama was on the volleyball team and Hinata spent the majority of the practice hour just watching his jersey ride above the lean panes of his stomach and his thighs flex after a short jump.

“What the fuck are you doing here,” Kageyama had seethed and Hinata frowned, a little annoyed, “I hope you’re not thinking about joining the volleyball club.”

“No! You ruined volleyball for me. I can feel your negativity bouncing off the walls here!”

“Good.”

_“Good!.”_

Kageyama raised an eyebrow and turned around.

He joined the track team instead, being so close to Kageyama would probably kill him slowly. Or quickly, he didn’t want to risk it. And anyways, he couldn’t join after making a big deal about not joining.

Plus, the track was right next to the volleyball gymnasium, Kageyama would have to come out to drink from the water fountain, his eyes having nowhere to look except the boys’ track team.

It never really went as planned, Kageyama would only stagger out when Hinata was far on the other side of the track, knees aching and breath hot.

He tried timing it, Kageyama had his back turned to him and Hinata sighed, wondering if he was doing it on purpose.

“I thought you hated him,” Tania asked, handing him a water bottle.

“I do.”

“Then why the fuck are you trying to impress him.”

“I don’t know! I’m confused too!”

The one time Kageyama’s break time and Hinata’s orbit around the track lined up, Hinata hadn’t realised.

Kageyama had been watching, an eyebrow quirked up in judgement and as Hinata passed him, he tripped, his body rolling with momentum.

He groaned, staring at the sun above him and he groaned again. He looked to the side, his eyes blinded with light and dirt.

Kageyama was standing there, separated by a sparsely wired fence.

Hinata sat upright, his eyes wide and his cheeks crimson.

He waited for Kageyama to say something, anything. His lips stayed pursed and his eyes were slanted, unamused.

“Idiot,” he finally said, with enough venom in his tone to prick tears from Hinata’s eyes.

“Oi!” Hinata snapped, his voice unreasonably high. He tried standing only to grimace in pain and fall over again.

He broke his ankle.

Ellie thought it was funny, “your luck is so- I’m sorry but like, the one time your paths fucking _aligned_...this happens.”

Hinata stabbed her foot with the end of his crutch.

He waited for the crowds of people to sift away before he would go to his locker, it’s less bothersome when people were in the way.

The guy on the other side of his locker liked making things hard for him. Ilya- he wasn’t that nice of a person, he always pressed his girlfriend to Hinata’s locker while they talked.

Hinata would tell him to move, tell her to move but they laughed louder, talked louder. Sometimes Kageyama was there, throwing in empty cans in his locker because he couldn’t find a bin.

Nothing much changed when he had to use crutches. Ilya still had his girlfriend up against Hinata’s locker and Kageyama still threw empty cans.

So he waited for everyone to drain away from the hallways and he used the quiet to flick open his locker door. Hauling his books in and out was hard and with a grunt, he dropped his left crutch and all his books.

He quickly latched onto the locker door, trying not to tip too far down.

It was hard to bend down, so he lowered himself to the ground, picking up two books at a time. That’s how far he got- with a stunted second he realised it would be painful to haul himself up with his books and crutches.

A figure knelt down in front of him and scooped up all his books and folders before shoving them into the top shelf. Hinata stared up, a quiet ‘thank you’ stuck on the tip of his tongue before it dissolved into a choke.

“Kageyama?!”

“You looked dumb,” he shrugged and Hinata’s cheeks warmed up. He grabbed his two crutches and clumsily hauled himself up.

“Your face is dumb,” Hinata shot back as angrily as he physically could and Kageyama sneered.

“We both know what you really think,” and Hinata frowned.

“Shut up!”

Kageyama leaned into his own locker, “you’re late for class.”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t.”

“Then why are you here?” Hinata asked.

“...My locker is here, dumbass,” Kageyama said, opening his locker with annoyed eyes. Squashed soda cans rolled to the floor and they both glowered at each other.

Hinata broke eye contact first with a short “hmph!” and he shuffled through the books in his locker, trying to find his Algebra textbook. It was a slow process, because he had decided a second too late that it would be better to do with one hand. His fingertips would get stuck under the heavy stacks of textbooks and he would furrow his bottom lip, aggravated by Kageyama’s silent stare.

He could hear Kageyama’s breathing, under the shuffle of paper against his skin and muffled chatter behind doors.

Kageyama didn’t offer to help and Hinata was glad, it’s not like he wanted help anyways, he’d rather struggle against paper cuts and flimsy plastic than accept Kageyama’s help-

“Christ…” Kageyama sighed and Hinata whipped around, defensive.

“Why are you still here?” Hinata snapped, his fingers slipping from under the stack of books.

“Why can’t I be here?” Kageyama snapped back and Hinata breathed heavily, frustrated, annoyed, pissed, nervous-

“Stop looking,” Hinata muttered and wrenched his book out. Closing the locker while holding his textbook and crutches proved to be harder than expected and he swore quietly, switching from English to Japanese-

“This is pissing me off,” Kageyama hissed, slapping Hinata’s hands away and slammed Hinata’s locker shut and piecing together the combination lock.

“Everything pisses you off,” Hinata mumbled and Kageyama glared at him from over his shoulder.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means- it-” Hinata broke off to seethe in pure frustration, “it means you suck! And you’re always mad and I don’t get it!”

Kageyama opened his mouth to speak but Hinata cut him off, dropping both of his crutches while he rambled.

“You’re so confusing!”

Kageyama brought up a fist to punch Hinata’s locker door, “ _I’m_ confusing? _Me?”_

“Yes-”

“No, you’re the most twisted bitch here- I don’t fucking get _you_ \- why the fuck do you do half the shit you do?!” Kageyama complained and Hinata bared his teeth.

“What did I do!?”

“You-” Kageyama prodded a finger at Hinata’s chest, “you- you keep trying to talk to me and- and you said- you called me- you basically said I was beautiful- why the fuck would you do that?!”

Hinata closed his mouth, his twitching eyebrows clearing into confusion.

“I- wait what? You’re confused because...I’m...nice?”

“No, idiot, it’s ‘cause you’re nice to _me_ \- what’s wrong with you? What do you want from me? Just fucking tell me, it’s pissing me _off.”_

Hinata peered up at Kageyama, watching the transition from artificial anger to genuine confusion in Kageyama’s frown. Hinata blinked rapidly and laughed into his hand. He spun around, trying to muffle his giggles into his sleeve, but it spilled out regardless and he doubled over, almost losing balance.

He turned around and leaned on his locker.

“I’m sorry but- I- you’re telling me that you’re pissed because I’m nice to you?”

“Yes,” Kageyama said, as if it was obvious and Hinata laughed again and Kageyama pushed at Hinata’s chest, tipping him over.

“Don’t you fucking laugh at me.”

“I’m- it’s hard not to!” Hinata giggled, watching Kageyama’s eyes widen is slight surprise, “what would I want from you anyways? I’m just a nice person, Kageyama. Tobio? I’m gonna call you Tobio.”

Kageyama’s cheeks burned red and Hinata thought back to when he told Kageyama he should be a model, his cheeks were just as red as now.

It made sense all too suddenly and Hinata let out a quiet “oh” in realisation. Kageyama wasn’t mad- he was just overwhelmed, with emotions that pumped soft pink instead of crimson red, with a blush of flattery rather than anger.

“Don’t call me Tobio- instead don’t call me anything- don’t even talk to me, don’t breathe-”

“Do you mean that?” Hinata asked. His foot hurt but Kageyama’s mouth was slightly parted, breathing heavily around his blush, his eyes falling soft into hesitation, into feelings that weren’t straightforward ferocity.

“Yes,” he said and Hinata snorted.

“Why’d you hesitate for so long?” Hinata asked, using his fallen crutches to haul himself up, “I’m gonna call you Tobio. And I’m gonna be nice to you when you’re not being mean to me. I’m gonna talk to you when I want to, I’m gonna say hi to you every morning- I might even smile at you when we pass in the corridors so...so punch me if you’re _really_ against that.”

Kageyama stared at him, his scowl dropping before he drew his eyebrows together in a glare strong enough to make Hinata flinch. His blush decorated his cheeks and he scoffed, looking away.

“Whatever,” he said, slamming his own locker door closed. He walked backwards for a while before finally turning away, his nape flushed with a rose tint.

Hinata grinned crookedly, his cheeks ruddy with pink; the shade of triumph.


	2. flirt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cue hinata being confidently flirty- also woah this got to 100 too fast thanks @ everyone for reading

The 50 seconds Hinata spent by the lockers each day passed by as usual, unless Kageyama was there, lining his lips with lip balm. Sometimes they would make eye contact through the mirror and Hinata would smile, eyes closed and teeth bared.

Kageyama would growl a little, mutter under his breath and Hinata would exhale deeply when Kageyama walked away.

Time passed like this, sometimes his 50 seconds would extend over a minute when he would _try_  to hold a meaningless conversation with Kageyama.

When they weren’t curt talks filled with monosyllabic responses from Kageyama, they were explosive bickering that made Hinata feel like complete shit.

He would still go on to say hi the next day, awaiting silence or a snap of “what the fuck do you want this time?”

Friday sucked.

Hinata came late, his food during break had been squashed to a soggy mess, some idiot had dropped milk all over Hinata’s sides during lunch and he had to suffer through an extra period, smelling like dairy.

Still, he said hi when Kageyama threw recycled textbooks into the back of his locker, because at this point, it felt weird not to.

Kageyama only sighed, “fuck off.”

It has been a month and maybe a few more extra days. Kageyama has never said hi back.

He had earphones plugged in, one dangled out and Hinata gripped the edge of his locker door, contemplating silently.

“What you listening to?” He asked and Kageyama clicked his tongue against his teeth.

“I said fuck off, didn’t I?”

Hinata rolled his eyes, quietening down to shut his locker. He ran his fingers through his hair and swiped it down, flattening his locks against his forehead.

 _“”I said fuck off, didn’t I?””_ he mocked and Kageyama grabbed him by the front of his collar, slamming him up against the thin walls of the locker. The clamour of the push reverberated through the next eight lockers down the hall. It hurt, yes, but Hinata laughed anyways.

“I _don’t_ sound like that,” he seethed and Hinata shook his head, either surrendering or disagreeing.

Kageyama let him go and Hinata looked at his receding hand, the calloused lines and messy bandaids-

“Dumbass, go home already,” Kageyama snapped and Hinata rolled his eyes.

“Quit calling me dumbass!”

“I-” Kageyama clicked his tongue against his teeth again, “then what the hell else am I supposed to call you?”

“My name?”

“What is it?”

Hinata gawped, his mouth parted in quiet shock. He laughed, nervously because it was a joke right? Kageyama was joking.

Kageyama continued to look serious, continued to look annoyed- confused even and Hinata laughed harder.

It was an uncomfortable laugh, Hinata couldn’t believe it.

“That’s kinda sad,” he said and Kageyama opened his mouth, floundering to defend himself, excuse himself.

“Well I never really care- it wasn’t importa-” He stopped himself each time and Hinata snorted.

“You pretty,” Hinata said, stepping in closer, “but stupid too.”

“I- _pretty?_ \- wait, why do you smell like...expired milk?”

Hinata lunged back and shoved his hands into his pocket, cheeks ridiculously red.

“Someone spilled milk on me, okay? Anyways! I’m going home.”

“Wait! Your name, idiot!” Kageyama yelled after him as Hinata started walking away.

“Figure it out yourself!” Hinata yelled back, looking forward. After a few steps, a hand pressed against his shoulder and he was whirled around.

His foot slipped between Hinata’s, pushing him further back while pulling Kageyama excruciatingly close. His crutches clattered to the floor. Perhaps it was another intimidation tactic, Hinata couldn’t tell if it was working, he was too overwhelmed by their proximity, by the details in Kageyama’s eyes- he could fucking see grey specks-

“I asked for your name.”

“Shouyou,” Hinata breathed out without a beat of hesitation, his voice airy and his eyes dry from his refusal to blink. He couldn’t blink anyways, Kageyama was _so_  fucking close.

Their silence stretched on for an eternity and Hinata held his breath. Kageyama frowned and rolled his eyes to the side.

“Hmm,” he said, stepping away. Hinata stayed frozen to the spot, the strap of his bag slipping off his shoulder, “whatever.”

He started pulling his hoodie on as he walked away and Hinata whirled around, offended, overwhelmed, _flushed_.

“What do you mean by ' _hmm whatever?!'_ What, my name isn’t good enough for you?” Hinata yelled but Kageyama didn’t stop walking.

“It pisses me off,” he answered, his back still turned to Hinata.

“What does that even mean?!”

Kageyama was confusing and a strange _phenomenon_ and Hinata would probably never figure him out.

As his ankle healed, Tania continued to gush about Adam’s party

“It’s...it’s not really a _party_ \- it’s just a get together, kinda- hey you should come!”

“Party? I- I don’t know, um- I think I'm busy."

Tania pursed her lips, "didn't you say you had nothing to do, like, 30 minutes ago?"

Hinata's eyes widened, "oh did I? I mean, I think _kaa-san-_ um! Mother wants me to do chores..."

"Well get your sister to do it."

"She..." Hinata sighed, closing his eyes, "we'll see. I'll think about it."

"Ok, have you thought about it yet?" she asked and Hinata shrugged, changing subjects.

It took Hinata a lazy night watching Japanese dramas and an interruption to figure out 'I'll think about it' did not universally mean 'no.'

He opened the door slowly to find Tania waiting, a bag of bottles dragging her left side down.

"Wh- what you doing _here?"_ Hinata hissed, glancing back to see his mother poke her head around the corner, raising an eyebrow at the intrusion.

"Picking you up? You wanna come right?"

Hinata's eyes widened as his heart thundered in both panic and simmering anxiety.

"What- _when?"_

"You said you'd think about it, then you shrugged."

Hinata furrowed his eyebrows, "I shrugged."

"Yes. You shrugged."

"I shrugged."

Tania looked around, laughing, confused, "Yeah dude! You shrugged, which doesn't mean no-"

"Doesn't mean yes, either."

"It means you kinda want to go, right? But your mum says no-"

"I-" 

She was wrong, completely wrong- parties meant rave music and _dancing_ , the kind of dancing that meant ogling, meant touching, meant something more than the roll of hips. It meant alcohol stronger than _sake,_ meant drugs in the form of both powder and smoke.

Hinata had never been to a party, he doesn't particularly want to go after watching twelve Hollywood teen films in where the protagonist became a drug dealer after one party. He didn't want to be a drug dealer.

Still, he was a little curious. There were three more teenagers in the car behind Tania, waiting, and he looked down at the plastic bag in Tania's hand. 

His mother stood behind him, eyes tired, eyes concerned.

 _What's going on?_ she asked in Japanese and Hinata stuttered, eyes wide.

Tania held a hand out, "Hi! I'm Tania, I want to invite Shou to study at my house," she grinned, winking at Hinata who's face paled.

Eventually, after about 5 minutes of broken english and flattery, Hinata's mother said _sure, Shouyou's not doing great academically, he needs this._

Hinata scratched at his cheek. Avoidance really wasn't his strongest suit.

In reality, it was nothing like what he had envisioned.

The bass thrummed through the ground, the air smelt like- like old weed rolled into blunts and alcohol spilling over counters.

The music was steady, students hung around the edges of the room, socialising with blurry words and Tania was gone.

Ellie got Hinata a drink- Hinata tried refusing but after some hazy stares, he shrugged, downing the shot with wet coughs and a burning nose.

He tried talking, tried merging into the crowd but no one seemed sober enough to hold a conversation. Both the girls had dissolved into boys who smelled like weed and cheap cologne, their lipsticks smudged and phones turned off.

Hinata finished the cocktail Louis made for him out of pity and he ventured outside. It was just as claustrophobic outside, students hung through the pools and floor, some passed out, some making out with wet hair and wet noises.

He found Kageyama sitting away from everyone, on the curb of the street, smoke hanging off his lips.

“What’s point of going to party if you not gonna talk to anyone?” Hinata asked.

“Why is that any of your business?” Kageyama said after a minute delay.

“It’s not,” Hinata admitted, “but tell me anyways.”

Kageyama didn’t answer.

“Can I sit?”

It took time for Kageyama to properly look at Hinata.

“No.”

Hinata sat down anyways, leaning into Kageyama by accident really. The night was quiet and his jumper was suffocating him.

“I’m not having a good time,” Hinata said, to himself mostly.

“Don’t care,” Kageyama said, blowing smoke through his nose.

“I know,” Hinata said, his voice a bit breathy. He kinda hated alcohol, the first shot burned the back of his throat, “I thought parties were supposed to be fun.”

He looked over to the side to see Kageyama already looking at him.

“What?”

“Where are your friends? The two girls,” he asked, twisting his juul between his fingers.

“I don’t know, I lost them. But it’s ok, they’re having good time,” Hinata explained, holding his thumbs up, “anyway, what the hell is that? Why you smoking that? That’s so bad!”

“What the fuck do you expect at a party like this?” Kageyama snapped back and Hinata pouted.

“What’s it like?” He asked after a while, curiosity slowing stirring in his stomach.

“I’m not sharing.”

“You don’t have to share! I just want to know.”

“It’s good, I guess.”

Hinata hummed to himself. He glanced at Kageyama from the corner of his eyes. Smoke leaked off his lips and Kageyama closed his eyes, relishing the taste of the night air and carbonated wind. Curiosity jumped to Hinata's throat.

“I wanna try,” and he lunged for the juul. Kageyama didn’t move much and Hinata plucked it off easily, staring at it, squinting and gawping.

“Well? What the fuck are you waiting for?”

“I’m scared, I just remembered my mum telling me not to do this.”

“Well don’t,” Kageyama snatched it back and Hinata pouted. Kageyama stared at Hinata after a while, “Fine, we’ll shotgun.”

“What’s that?”

“Just shut up. It’s fun.”

Kageyama took a hit, his cheeks hollowing out. He didn’t blow it out, instead he turned to Hinata, grabbing his jaw. Hinata gawked, confused, a little baffled but mostly confused. Kageyama’s eyes flickered to his lips and Hinata couldn’t hear _anything_ except for the fast rhythm of his heart against his ears, against his chest. Kageyama’s thumb slid out and prodded at Hinata’s lips. He parted them and Kageyama hooked his thumb in, holding his mouth wide.

“I’ conf’used,” Hinata said around his finger and Kageyama rolled his eyes. Without warning, he leaned in, his thumb sliding down Hinata’s jaw to tilt his neck and smoke poured out of his lips into Hinata’s. He let his mouth hang open and after the last tendrils of smoke disappeared around his mouth, Kageyama leaned away.

It stumped Hinata completely and he couldn’t blink, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even _speak_.

The silence stretched on for long and Kageyama blew crooked rings.

“Did I break you?”

His eyes had been open the whole time, he could still see Kageyama’s dilated pupils, the metallic haziness in his eyes, how the smoke curled around his jaw and cheekbones. He was warm when he leaned in, it was _dangerous_ , Hinata could see his Adam’s apple bobbing along his choker, could feel smoke and his warm breath against his nose and chin, could feel his lips lining his own. He was close, too close but not close enough.

Hinata hated himself a little, hated his hormones swimming in his denim pants, hated how his cheeks were still red, hated how Kageyama Tobio was the hottest _thing_  he had ever seen and _experienced_.

“ _Anata wa sekushi ni miemasu_ ,”

“W-what?”

Hinata slapped his hands over his mouth, fuck, _he shouldn’t have said that_.

“I’m sorry, that was weird, I didn’t mean to say that- that was so rude- I-” Hinata stood up, his thoughts and vision messy and he almost tripped over the curb, “I’m sorry-”

It was overwhelming, God, why couldn’t he keep his mouth shut around Kageyama? Why did he have no control over _anything_  around him?

He stumbled as he ran, his heart beats turning into red and blue sirens- his thoughts turning into smears and blurs.

God, he hated himself.

“Shouyou, did you really just say that to me? To my fucking face? Did you really just call me _sexy?”_ Kageyama yelled and Hinata burned, his cheeks searing with scarlet, _“are you gay?!”_

Hinata didn’t answer, couldn't answer- what if he opened his mouth and something even worse came out? What if he accidentally proposed?

He tried to forget most of it overnight. Unfortunately, memory didn’t work like that and he was forced to dream about it twice.

He begged his mother to let him stay home, _I’m sick kaa-san- I can’t go-_

He went anyways, tiptoeing around the lockers, hiding in the bathroom during his lunch break, breaking into a run the second he would see straight black hair and bandaged knuckles.

Kageyama didn’t try to approach him, which he was grateful for until 3pm bled into 3:30. His track meets were fun, sometimes he’d run backwards, just because. He liked staying with his teammates, throwing around jokes he didn’t understand half the time.

The net between the volleyball gymnasium and the tracks were gone, something about renovation- but the two teams mingled during their break.

Hinata sat where the net used to be, waiting for his heart to slow down. He took a gulp of water and held it against his cheek. His eyes lazily flickered up and midst the tired crossover between the track team and volleyball team, Kageyama stood in the middle, drinking slowly from his bottle.

It was a... _deliberately_ sensual sight. His adam’s apple bobbed dangerously and he let drops of water leak down the corners of his lips. They ran down his jawline and dripped off the edge of his chin. His eyes stayed pinned on Hinata and he pulled his lips off slowly. A line of saliva connected his lips to the bottle and Hinata gulped out of pure shock.

It was too much to process, too much to see- too much to fucking _handle_  so Hinata choked. He held his hand over his mouth and doubled over as water dribbled from his nose and mouth. He coughed violently and his teammates stared, alarmed. Louis came over to smack his back and Hinata wheezed through his burning nose.

He did that on purpose, Hinata seethed quietly in Japanese. Louis stared, confused and Hinata wiped his mouth.

Kageyama looked away pointedly, as if he wasn’t at fault, as if he didn’t know what he was doing.

Track practice went the same the next day and the day after until all Hinata could see was the smooth panes of muscle when Kageyama went to lift up the hem of his jersey to wipe the sweat off his brows.

“It’s not funny,” Hinata had said when the two teams were mutually dismissed.

“What are you talking about?” Kageyama asked. They hung back from both the teams, their voices soft yet sharp with hushed accusation.

“You know what I’m talking about!” Hinata snapped. His teammates turned around, concerned, confused, cautious.

Kageyama sent them a glare and they turned back around, their fingers clenched into fists.

“Enlighten me.”

Hinata huffed, “I take back what I said.”

“What did you say?”

Hinata glared up at him, “You know what I said! That thing, at the party!”

“Can’t remember.”

Kageyama was smiling into his shoulder and he closed his eyes, to recollect his composure. He looked back at Hinata who let out a angry huff before stomping to the bike racks.

Kageyama followed and Hinata crouched over to fumble with the combination lock, his fingers shaking from genuine anger and shame.

“Forget about it. Seriously, I- I was high and...and I was on _marijuana_ -” Hinata excused, his face raging red

Kageyama snorted and leaned against the rack.

“It wasn’t even weed and we didn’t even shotgun properly, the smoke went everywhere but your mouth so-”

“I was not myself, ok?!”

Silence loomed over them and quietly Kageyama crouched next to Hinata.

“So, are you actually gay-?”

Hinata pushed Kageyama to the ground, wincing so hard tears threatened to well around his closed eyes. Kageyama propped himself up on his elbows, “answer the question Shouyou.”

Hinata glowered at Kageyama before squeezing his eyes shut, “don’t mock me.”

“I’m not mocking you, dumbass, I’m asking a legit question.”

Hinata looked to his bike, worrying his lips down from shame.

Kageyama sat upright and surveyed Hinata, watching the clench of his jaw and fists, the red, red lips-

“I seriously don’t get you…” Kageyama said, breaking the tension. The strap of his bag slipped to the ground, “how the fuck do you have the balls to say shit like that? Aren’t you embarrassed?”

“Of course I am! I wanna throw up! From shame!” Hinata said before furiously turning to his combination lock. Kageyama stretched his foot out and knocked it against Hinata’s knee.

“You’re mad stupid,” Kageyama said, jutting his chin out to look at Hinata. Silence enveloped them again and Hinata waited for him to continue but Kageyama only lolled his neck to the left.

“Yeah well, you’re- you’re- you-”

“Sexy?” Kageyama teased and Hinata yelled in defiance while Kageyama ducked his head down to hide a grin.

It made Hinata’s blood boil, made his face the blotchy with failed pride and curt humiliation.

“Well what’s wrong with finding you attractive huh?” Hinata snapped, turning his body around to face Kageyama, his cheeks ruddy and his throat dry with adrenaline.

“You-”

“Yeah. I said it. You’re really hot. What are you gonna do about it?”

Kageyama stayed quiet, his mouth opening and closing to start sentences he couldn’t finish. Hinata grinned and stood up, almost triumphantly.

“I’m not _gay_ , you know,” Kageyama said quietly after a long pause and Hinata shrugged.

“Me neither.”

Kageyama frowned at that, “I- we- what?- I’m not gonna fucking date...you.”

“Great! I don’t want to date you either!”

Kageyama had his mouth parted, to talk, to make noise that filled in the blanks of his mind. He stood up instead and swiped the dirt off his hands.

Hinata swung his leg over his unlocked bike and Kageyama raised an eyebrow.

“You’re fucking weird. You make no sense.”

“Well,” Hinata started, not knowing how to finish with a remark that was both cool and hard to reply to. He closed his mouth, shrugged away his unfinished sentence and rode off.

He didn’t see Kageyama by the lockers nor did he see him in class. But track practice rounded by and Hinata chugged water during his break, his eyes fluttering closed.

Kageyama was sitting by the side, drinking water casually. Their eyes met and Hinata grinned. He pointed at Kageyama as obviously as he could and Kageyama raised an eyebrow. His eyes widened as Hinata fanned himself dramatically, rolling his eyes back and biting his bottom lip.

His teammates stared and he blushed red, looking down, embarrassed. He looked back at Kageyama, watching the flush of unfiltered mortification sparking along his cheekbones. He looked away quickly, scowling at the ground with too much ferocity.

It was cute, having Kageyama blush into the ground, the edge of his foot digging a dent into the dirt floor.

He didn’t try to drizzle lukewarm water over the lines of his jawline, nor did he lift the bottom of his jersey to wipe away the drops veering into his eyes.

Kageyama stayed, quiet, red- but silent.

Hinata couldn’t tell if Kageyama was uncomfortable or embarrassed- either way, Kageyama didn’t bring up Hinata’s slurred words, his slip up, his pure thoughts influenced by smoke and the blue in Kageyama’s eyes.

He didn’t have the chance to bring it up, anyways, not when Hinata was constantly adding to the fuel, adding to the slurred compliments, fighting fire with fire.

It lasted for a quiet week. Kageyama would stare at Hinata sometimes, through his mirror by the lockers, parting his mouth as if to say something, anything.

Hinata looked up from his books, feeling a sharp gaze on his cheek. It was startling when their eyes met and Hinata grinned after flinching. Kageyama opened his mouth, words ready to tumble out-

Hinata winked, tongue sticking out and the words faltered under Kageyama’s breath.

Hinata quickly walked away and Kageyama whipped around, an angry “oi!” stuck on the roof of his mouth.

Chemistry class stayed the same, Hinata fiddled with his safety goggles because they never fit over his head and he stayed seated while the girls carried on with the experiments.

Sometimes he would ask to be included, “I want to pour in the solution!” he’d say only to somehow spill everything everywhere.

Kageyama sauntered into class, disrupting the entire dynamic. Tania was forced to pair with Kageyama after Mrs Jones regarded Hinata closely.

“Fuck,” she muttered to herself as she slid to the nearest counter after Kageyama grunted at her to move. She turned around, relieved to see Ellie and Hinata residing by the counter directly behind her. Ellie offered a dramatic frown and Tania mimed a tear falling down her cheek.

“He’s hot though,” Ellie whispered as Kageyama looked through the cupboards for equipment and Tania glared.

“So? He could fucking kill me just by breathing in my direction,” Tania seethed, her voice lowering to a whisper in case Kageyama heard. Ellie snorted, mumbling “mood” under her breath.

Hinata held onto his goggles as he went through cupboards. He stood upright the same time Kageyama did and they both stared at each other, half zoned out, half startled.

Ellie would throw glances over her shoulder, to check on Tania’s tense neck and trembling fingers. Kageyama sat on the stool, aimlessly reading out instructions, aimlessly correcting her.

His eyes flickered to Hinata who was holding two clear tubes, one in each hand while he simultaneously scrunched his nose to keep his goggles from slipping down. He tipped his head back, trying to slide the goggles back to rest comfortably on on the bridge of his nose. The liquid in his tubes leaned along with him, ready to spill over the edge until Ellie yelled at him to focus.

He flinched up, letting the liquid splash out only to apologise quickly.

Kageyama snorted quietly and Tania turned to him, too aware of every sound and movement he made. His eyes stayed trained on Hinata, perhaps out of laziness as he was the only thing directly in front of him.

That was his excuse anyways.

Hinata caught his eyes after his blush died down and after Ellie snatched the tubes out of his hands. He winked and Kageyama jerked back, almost toppling off his stool. He caught the edge of the counter and rolled the legs of his stool back. Hinata ducked down and brought out the bunsen burner, despite it being irrelevant to the actual experiment. He held a finger out to Kageyama, signalling him to wait. After lighting the burner, he flinched away from the flames. He rubbed his gloved hands together and looked up, to see if he still had Kageyama’s attention.

Kageyama had his elbow propped on the counter while his chin laid heavily against his palm. His instruction sheet drifted along the outskirts of his elbow and his eyes- his navy eyes- buried its gaze into Hinata.

It was intense, it was always intense and Hinata cleared his throat. He pointed to Kageyama three times before pointing to the short flames.

“What?” Kageyama said, blush seeping into his cheeks out of instinct. Tania next to him flinched, her eyes snapping to him.

“I- what…” her eyes followed his line of vision to see Hinata excessively jabbing at Kageyama and then jabbing at the flickering flames. the short flames, mouthing words distorted by his accent.

Tania fell silent, confused, paranoid- confused again.

Hinata rolled his eyes before mouthing in Japanese. He pointed to Kageyama, _you’re_ , and he pointed to the fire, _hot._

Again he mouthed it, his silence drifting to a shrill whisper, _you’re hot._

Kageyama burned _red_ \- his cheeks matching the flames dancing by Hinata’s finger and Hinata grinne-

“Shou, what the fuck are you doing? We don’t need the bunsen burner! Help me already!” Ellie snapped, turning off the gas tap quickly. Hinata bumbled out apologies, red flushing his cheeks.

Tania giggled, her eyes flickering back to Kageyama tentatively. He had a fist to his mouth, laughing quietly, shoulders trembling, fists clenching. He coughed quickly, and looked down at the sheet, practicing his poker face before he looked back at Tania, “what are we up to?”

Mrs Jones drifted from counter to counter. She glared at the bunsen burner and at Hinata, sighing at his rambled apologies and quick bows.

“Put. It. Away,” she said, pausing at every word to draw emphasis and Hinata nodded, apologising again. Ellie sighed and handed him a mixture to hold.

“Just hold it, Shou. Hold it,” she instructed and Hinata puffed out a short breath, blowing the orange mess that fell over his eyes up into the air where it stayed for a second too short.

Ellie worked on the experiment, writing what she needed to, adding what she needed to. It was boring and he looked over at Tania.

Tania was narrating her results while Kageyama documented it with his messy scrawl. He pushed his safety goggles up to rest above his hairline.

Hinata marvelled him, absentmindedly and Kageyama looked up, his features relaxed into confusion.

Without warning, without _any_  warning, he brought the end of his pen to his lips and licked around the end. Hinata’s whole body seized up and Kageyama narrowed his eyes while jutting his chin out, drawing attention to his jawline. He bit his bottom lip and Tania’s sentence faltered as she inhaled shakily.

Hinata, with paralysed eyes and a gaping mouth, dropped the beaker he was clutching onto and Ellie exploded into rage as the chemicals splashed over the ends of her jeans. The class exploded into noise.

“Shou! What the fuck, you literally had one job! One job!”

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” Hinata ducked down to his knees to survey the broken glass and perhaps fix it-

“What are you doing?! You’re gonna cut yourself!”

“I- y- I’m sorry! It’s not my fault- stupid Tobio with his- his-”

“What did he do? He’s with Tania-”

“Both of you get out of this area,” Mrs Jones instructed, “how did this even happen?”

Hinata exploded into another bout of apologies as he shuffled to the side. The class huffed and crowded around the two, trying to catch a glimpse of the accident.

Hinata worried at his bottom lip, his eyes flickering from the broken glass to Kageyama who sat with the wall cushioning his back, his feet propped on Tania’s unused stool. The Chemistry worksheet laid flat against his mouth and nose, concealing his laughter.

Hinata scowled at him and Kageyama winked, colouring Hinata’s cheeks cerise.

“You’re ridiculous,” Hinata spat when they left class, shoving Kageyama to the side, to their lockers.

“I’m ridiculous? Me? Look at you, miming I’m hot and then-” Kageyama cut off to laugh into his palm, “and then breaking the beaker.”

“I- you know it was your fault!”

“What did I do?” Kageyama asked, huffing.

“You- you know what you did!” Hinata exclaimed and Kageyama snorted.

“Damn, didn’t know I was powerful enough to make you drop everything just by looking at you.”

Hinata’s jaw fell unhinged as he blubbered for a response. It was annoying, seeing Kageyama so proud, so fucking full of _himself_ \- but he looked good with his eyes narrowed, with an eyebrow quirked up, with his fingers balancing atop his bottom lip as he moved to hide his smile. It was annoying, Hinata loved it.

His pride didn’t.

So he grabbed Kageyama’s wrists and pushed him to the lockers.

It had no real effect, Kageyama’s cheeks didn’t turn cherry, his lips didn’t part open in surprise, his eyes stayed narrowed.

Hinata bit down his pride, bit down the humiliation he could feel bubbling up.

“There’s a reason why only you can make me drop everything,” he whispered, staring up through his lashes.

Kageyama’s cheeks turned cherry, his lips parted open along with his eyes.

“Wh- what- what the fuck does that mean-”

Hinata jerked back and walked away, his own cheeks flushed in a rosy glow.

“Oi! How the fuck do you say shit like that when you’re not gay?!” Kageyama yelled after him.

It started as little instances of rebellion, of pride interrupting embarrassment, of the two dancing around timed blushes.

It was a competition- the weirdest competition Hinata was part of but a competition nonetheless.

Hinata didn’t know how to define it, Kageyama would lick his lips deliberately, tongue piercing poking out to glint in the light and Hinata would call him g _orgeous, God, you’re so pretty._

Kageyama would blush ruby, red, crimson- all the shades of rose and Hinata would smirk, he won, he had won.

It would take Kageyama less than a few seconds to challenge Hinata’s compliments with a flick of his tongue. His fingers would skim around the collar of his shirt, tugging down and Hinata was gone, his knees giving out and his cheeks numb with scarlet.

Tania called it flirting and Hinata choked on his burger, coughing up air and broken wheezes.

“We’re not flirting!” Hinata exclaimed, his voice watery, “it’s like- I dunno! Whoever blushes last loses! It’s not flirting!”

Yamaguchi said it sounded like flirting when Hinata called him to complain.

 _You’re not supposed to be on her side_ , Hinata complained, lying back on his bed with a huff and Yamaguchi laughed, his voice glitching.

Hinata asked him to put Yachi on, _she’ll agree with me._

She didn’t.

Whatever, he didn’t care. He didn’t consider it flirting and he was sure Kageyama didn’t either.

Practice breaks were loud as always, the two teams mingled and meshed, some sat out, stretching and others tossed around bottles.

Kageyama sat by the edge, leaning against the brick wall. Hinata tossed his bottle to the side along with the short hand towel. He paced to Kageyama, his walks slow and measured. It granted the attention of his teammates.

They watched him loom over Kageyama, watched Kageyama look up with sweat trickling down his temple, watching Hinata slam his hands against the brick wall.

He pushed his weight onto his hands and he stared down, watching his own shadow encase Kageyama. His legs were spread apart and Kageyama slid his own between the wide gap, his eyes still trained on Hinata’s.

 _You look good today,_ Hinata said and Kageyama frowned up at him, his ears the colour of Hinata’s hair.

“I know,” he said and he inched his left leg to the side, purposely grazing Hinata’s calf as he drew it back.

They both blushed red and Hinata mentally announced it as a draw as he pulled off.

“I-”

“Oi, Shou, you got gum?”

Hinata furrowed his brows before traipsing back to his teammates.

“I have bubblemint and normal mint-”

“What the fuck is going on?” Alec hissed quickly, spit collecting at the corners of his mouth as he rushed to speak, “what are you doing _flirting_ with- _with Tobio?!”_

“It’s not flirting!” Hinata yelled, his voice pitching higher than it should. They all stared and he looked around. Kageyama was staring too, his eyebrows high into his hair and his ears the same shade of pink as Hinata’s. He looked away quickly and so did Hinata.

“Anyways, I’m not...flirting,” Hinata said, trying to calm his voice.

“Well if you’re not, he definitely is,” Alec reasoned, “which is- I- _what the fuck?_  Why? How? How isn’t he yelling at you? How are you even- even- how are you even _communicating_  with him normally?”

“Normally?” Jay snorted, “flirting isn’t normal dude.”

“How is he flirting with you- I- Shou, what _series_  of events happened for life to lead to this?”

Hinata shrugged, “I don’t know. I guess it started when he offered to- to- what’s that thing? Where you blow smoke into someone’s mouth? Shoot?”

Alec took a step back, “he shotgunned with you?”

Hinata scratched the back of his head, “isn’t that normal? I thought it was American culture.”

Jay shook his head, “it’s just really... _unbelievable_  that he of all people would do that with you. With anyone actually. He legit hates people, last time this guy bumped into him at lunch and Tobio threw his own tray of food at his head. And knocked him out. He’s in coma now.”

“Really?” Hinata gasped and Alec nodded.

“Didn’t he make this Senior dude shit his pants? By just...looking at him?”

Hinata covered his mouth with his hands, genuinely surprised.

“Mmhmm, poor guy lost control over his own bowel movements or something.”

“Sounds like a rumour,” Jay said and Hinata shook his head.

“I believe it, I almost cried when he glared at me in Chemistry!”

Alec pinched the bridge of his nose, “again, how did you go from _that_ to flirting?”

“It’s not flirting!” Hinata seethed, voice lowered dangerously and Alec flinched away. He glanced at Kageyama who was typing away furiously on his phone.

Days passed, Kageyama would press Hinata against the locker as he passed, staring down just right, more days passed, Hinata would throw pickup lines translated from Japanese that made no sense and it was Wednesday.

Louis and Adam joined the girls and Hinata during lunch, chatting away about upcoming quizzes and how neither of them really studied. Hinata hadn’t unpacked his lunch and he looked around, trying to find Kageyama midst the sea of students in the cafeteria.

Kageyama was seated in the corner, where the seat met the wall. He sat sideways, his legs propped up on the bench and his hood draped over his eyes. He was staring at his phone, probably watching a video of sorts while a half eaten apple laid crookedly on a crumpled napkin.

Hinata thought about the rumours that may not be rumours and he stood up from his seat.

“I’m gonna...ask Tobio something, I’ll come back, yeah?” he excused, pulling his bag with him.

“‘K, go flirt with him-” Tania commented and Hinata stomped his left foot.

“We’re not flirting!”

Hinata stormed away before Tania could finish laughing.

Kageyama’s general area was...intimidating. His table was empty, devoid of humanity and so were the next few tables around him. Those nearest to him were actual bullies, the kind that spread rumours and cracked their own knuckles.

They stared as Hinata passed, eyeing him carefully. It was uncomfortable, Hinata hated the corner of the cafeteria. Still, he skipped over to Kageyama and saddled onto the table with his feet propped against the benches. The gazes on his back intensified and he could hear it- the glances given by the group, the whispers and nudges, “what the fuck is that midget doing?”

He turned back, catching the eyes of many lazily looking around, catching the eyes of many staring on curiously, catching the eyes of his track team staring with wide, wide eyes.

“Goodness, you’re really popular, Tobio,” Hinata said watching Kageyama flinch and quickly look up from his screen, his hood falling back.

“When the fuck did you get here?”

“Now, stupid,” Hinata rolled his eyes, giggling, “did you get scared-?”

“Fuck no,” Kageyama scoffed, “why are you here anyways?”

His eyes kept flickering from his screen to Hinata’s face.

“Oh yeah, ok, so- hmm, how do I put this? I kept hearing some rumours and stuff about you and I was like 'hmm, they sound extreme but it’s something he would do' so I wanna clarify,” Hinata explained.

Kageyama slumped further into his side of the bench and took a bite out of his apple.

“What’d they say?” he asked around bites and Hinata cleared his throat.

“They said-”

“Sit on the benches, not on the tables,” a voice rang by and Hinata whipped around, to see a short teacher parading around with her hands clasped behind her back.

“Yeah! Sorry,” he apologised before looking down to see Kageyama’s legs taking up half of the bench, “move your legs, stupid.”

“Don’t you fucking tell me what to do,” Kageyama snapped, glaring at Hinata who flinched back. Slowly, Kageyama slid his legs down to the floor and he sat upright.

The teacher- Hinata’s English teacher, Ms Lee- stared at the two for a while, a little concerned.

Kageyama grunted, “continue,” and Hinata snapped back into life.

“Right so,” as he talked, he rotated around in his seat to face Kageyama directly. He brought his legs up, sitting cross-legged and he rummaged through his bag, trying to find his bento box. “So, they were saying that-”

Hinata paused and turned slightly, to see Ms Lee hanging back, waiting for some sort of violence and Hinata grimaced internally- what kind of reputation had Kageyama built for himself?

He switched to Japanese, feeling uncomfortable under her scrutiny. Kageyama’s eyes flickered to Ms Lee, his expression bored. She left immediately, feeling as if she was intruding upon something and Hinata cleared his throat again, switching back to English.

“Some guy bumped into you and you threw your tray of food at his head and he’s in coma now! And- and you glared at this Senior kid so hard that he lost control of his bowels or something.”

Kageyama’s eyes were trained on Hinata’s bento box and Hinata looked down quizzically  to find the Hello Kitty icons dotted along the cloth used to wrap his lunchbox.

“Nice,” Kageyama smirked and Hinata bumbled red, pushing the box away from his lap.

“It- it’s not mine! It’s my sisters’, my mum got confused, I think- it’s not mine!”

Kageyama rolled his eyes, snorting, “sure,” he stared at it some more, frowning, “it pisses me off.”

“Everything pisses you off!” Hinata reiterated before sliding out his chopsticks and unwrapping the box, “anyways, did you really do all that stuff?”

“Wh- I wasn’t listening.”

Hinata’s gaze flickered to the white earphones plugged into Kageyama’s ear and he lunged forward to yank the wire. Kageyama exploded into screams and those surrounding them stared, snapping their attention to the pair.

“How could you even listen with earphones in?!” Hinata pointed out.

“You’re a bitch,” Kageyama threw the rest of the apple at Hinata’s face. It landed right on his nose and Hinata whined angrily. He dug through his bag, uncovering a peach.

“You’re stupid,” Hinata countered, throwing his peach at Kageyama only for it to be caught. Hinata demanded it back and Kageyama answered by biting into the peach.

Sighing in defeat, “you owe me one peach.”

Kageyama shrugged, _whatever_ , he said around the peach juice.

Hinata repeated the rumours and Kageyama snorted after a laboured pause.

“Yikes,” he said, “are you an idiot?”

“What.”

"Obviously none of that is true!”

Hinata choked slightly on his rice, “yeah but some parts must be true! Where did that story even come from then?”

“I don’t- listen, wait-” Kageyama sat up straighter and cleared away his thoughts by shaking his head and waving his hands, “how do you knock someone out by dumping food on them?”

“You would know.”

“No? I’ve never done that I- fuck, wait,” Kageyama’s eyes widened, “this one time I got a tray of food and some dumbass kid bumped into me hard- ‘cause he was an idiot. But that made me lose balance and I accidentally spilled my food on him. Then I yelled but that’s it.”

Hinata laughed, “that’s so tame compared to what I heard!”

Kageyama rolled his eyes, “well _sorry_  I’m not fucking… sending idiots into comas,” he said sarcastically and Hinata covered his mouth as he grinned with a full mouth.

“What about the second story?”

“I dunno, I glare at a lot of people. But I’m sure I didn’t make someone lose bowel movements or whatever.”

“Did you actually make someone...poop their pants?”

"I- no?"

“Someone once said you killed a man.”

Kageyama fixed Hinata with a deadpanned stare.

“Do I fucking look like someone-”

“Yes. Yes you do, your glare by itself is a death threat,” Hinata said and Kageyama frowned.

He rolled his eyes, “well, I didn’t kill anyone. Why would I?”

“Don’t ask me, ask yourself.”

“If I could kill anyone, it wouldn’t be someone random anyways.”

“Oh? Who would you kill?”

Kageyama finished off his peach, “you, probably.”

“I- what? Why?!” Hinata yelped, shocked, appalled, confused.

“You piss me off.”

"Again, everything pisses you off! Even Hello Kitty! Why does Hello Kitty make you angry!”

“‘Cause it’s too cute, I fucking hate cute shit, makes me want to kill it,” Kageyama answered, “literally looking at anything cute overwhelms me.”

Hinata pressed the ends of his chopsticks to his lips in thought.

“Cute things piss you off. You want to kill cute things,” Hinata repeated, “I piss you off and you want to kill me.”

“I- what-”

“So do you think I’m cute?”

Kageyama blushed red, probably the reddest he’s been so far and he blubbered for an answer, starting sentences before restarting.

He threw the peach core at Hinata’s face before grabbing his bag to leave, “idiot.”

Hinata laughed, ”you so do!”

Kageyama began walking away but Hinata lunged at his arm, "I think you’re cute too.”

It was a dangerous sentence and both of them exploded into red. Hinata let go quickly, as if Kageyama burned and Kageyama jerked away just as fast.

Hinata stared at his chopsticks- was that flirting? It felt like flirting.

His cheeks seared red and he pushed his hair back as he tried to exercise breathing.

“We really were flirting,” Hinata whispered when Tania stopped by and she snorted into her sleeve.

“Took you long enough.”

“What does this _mean?_ ” he wheezed, why were they flirting? When had they truly started flirting? Why was Kageyama even- how- why was Kageyama reciprocating?

He forced himself not to think about it- maybe he should ask Kageyama.

Hinata came to Kageyama’s bench a few days later, his questions rising on the tip of his tongue.

Then Kageyama greeted him:

“Shouyou.”

He jutted his chin out and slid his legs down, giving Hinata space to sit and- and he faltered. Hinata sat down, question forgotten as he babbled about nothing- why Kageyama even listened was another riddle left unsolved. Chats around the table turned to walks- they both had too much energy, too much stamina.

It never lasted long, the bell would cut his sentence halfway, sometimes it would Kageyama’s words halfway and they would glare at the sky, annoyed with the interruption. Hinata would clamber out and slap a hand to his forehead, “I was supposed to go back to my friends!”

Sometimes he would remember. He’d throw his finished bento into his bag and heave it to his shoulder, “I should get back to the cafeteria, my friends are waiting.”

Kageyama didn’t look disappointed, he’d only nod, “finally,” he’d say sometimes but his shoulders would sag along with his head and Hinata would linger. It took him a while to really play whatever on his phone, his fingers would hesitate, giving Hinata a chance to speak, say something, _stay_.

It was random, Hinata’s visits. He’d go a week without stopping by the corner of the cafeteria only to bump into Kageyama by the lockers after fourth period the following week. They’d walk to Kageyama’s table together, bickering back and forth.

Tania said it was weird, she didn’t get it, “you two always look like y’all are in the middle of a super intense fight but then suddenly you start laughing and he just hides his face. It’s weird.”

It _was_  weird, Kageyama would throw his trash at Hinata and Hinata would make trash to throw back. Kageyama would say something stupid with the straightest of faces and Hinata would double over laughing, spilling milk from his nose while Kageyama grimaced away. Hinata would say something dumb and Kageyama would quieten to a blush, you’re stupid _Shouyou_ , he’d say, eyes averted.

But the- the weird soft feelings would disappear the next time Kageyama licked his lips, his tongue stud skimming over his top lip and those tender feelings would transform into something red and _hot_.

Hinata hummed to himself as he shuffled through his lockers and Ilya turned to him, his girlfriend, for _once_ , not pressed against his hip.

“How do you do that?” he asked after a beat of silence.

Hinata raised an eyebrow, “do what?”

“Talk to Tobio like...that.”

Hinata furrowed his brows- he had different ways of talking to Kageyama, of addressing Kageyama so he continued to stare, quizzical.

“Like you- how did you become his friend?”

“Friend?” Hinata snorted, “I- we’re not friends- we-”

He thought about it, his finger tapped his chin and he thought some more. Were they friends? Were they less? Kageyama didn’t seem like the person to really acknowledge Hinata as a friend.

Maybe they were acquaintances- but they knew each other too well to be more than strangers, they flirted too much to be friends, they fought each other too much to be considered more.

They were in the passage between friendship and beyond, on the cusp of partnership except- except not.

They weren’t anything and he stayed silent for too long.

Ilya opened his mouth, “you two...dating-? No, no wait, that’s dumb.”

Hinata adjusted his strap on his shoulder, “why’s it dumb?”

“Just is, just being his friend or...whatever is almost impossible. Plus, he’s, like, straight.”

Hinata shrugged, talking to Ilya incited too many questions he didn’t want answered.

Anyways, Ellie had invited Hinata to another one of Adam’s parties that weren't really parties. Hinata breathed out in defeat, not too eager to attend. Thoughts of the last party evoked feelings of shame and anything else synonymous to humiliation. He didn’t feel right rejecting her straight out so he dawdled, “oh I don’t knoooow,” he sighed, looking up to avoid eye contact.

“Tobio might come.”

Hinata thought about it, considering the party before he snapped out of his reverie, “what does that have to do with anything?”

“You tell me.”

Kageyama asked if he was coming when they both paused to drink water during their club activities.

“I don’t know,” Hinata shrugged, "I'll...think...about it."

“So no, huh?” Kageyama nodded before pressing his lips to the nozzle of his bottle, “that’s a shame.”

“Huh, why?”

Kageyama shrugged, “forget about it.”

But Hinata didn’t. He spent nights, days and the hours in between analysing Kageyama’s words into something false. Tania told him he was overthinking, _he just wants you to come_ and after quiet deliberation, Hinata went.

He had told his mother he was going to a small get together because he was no good at lying and his mother frowned, “at a time like this?”

“We were gonna...study. At night, where we can think. My friend Tania can drop me off so don’t worry.”

She didn’t worry, Hinata was a good kid and with a kiss goodbye, Hinata jumped into the car parked outside.

Maybe he didn’t want to enjoy the night, maybe he shouldn’t have come. He spent the first good thirty minutes sulking behind Tania, drinking water that didn’t quite taste like water and staring through the hazy mist to find Kageyama, lurking, maybe dancing as well.

Kageyama wasn’t there and Hinata peeked a head outside, trying to find signs of metallic blue eyes and lips that shone under the right lighting.

He didn’t but Tania dragged him to the middle, “I won’t let you sulk tonight,” and Hinata offered a small smile.

“No one’s really dancing,” Hinata observed and Tania raised an eyebrow.

“Everyone’s too high to move,” she laughed, “but we can dance.”

So they did. Hinata moved clumsily to the steady beats, to the bass thrumming up his feet and into his chest. Tania grabbed for his hands and pulled him close and Hinata laughed, both out of an uncomfortable feeling of intimacy and genuine thrill.

Along their sluggish movements, the beat picked up and Hinata was jumping, yelling out lyrics he thought he knew and Tania joined in, despite the hazy stares focused on them. It took a while for others to join in but when they did, there were too many hands around Hinata, too many chests against his back, too much rhythm for him to follow.

There was not enough Kageyama, not enough of his almost-smiles and covered laughter, not enough of his scowl that lacked any real heat, not enough of his lips too close to his, eyes lowered in a daze, cheeks blushing carmine.

Hinata shuffled upstairs, to breathe. He was closer to the speakers this way and he could feel the beat reverberating through his left leg to hit his ribcage, two beats at a time. Both Tania and Ellie joined him after a while, sipping from straws that twisted into ridiculous loops. They talked quietly and Hinata laughed along, trying to quell the quiet disappointment skirting around the edges of his throat.

He leaned against the railings next to the stairs and he stared over it, watching youth spring into life in all shades of amber. He turned around, feeling the railing dig into his back and he tipped the entirety of his cup up, drinking the remainder of his water in one gulp.

The girls talked amongst themselves and Hinata joined from time to time, laughing into his palm.

“Guess who’s here,” Ellie giggled, sneaking glances between Hinata and the quiet figures along the hallway.

“Who?” Tania asked but Ellie kept her eyes on Hinata.

“Who?” Hinata tried but his eyes had already adjusted. Kageyama was there, hands jammed into his pockets, eyes impassive as always. He neared, eyes flickering to the girls around Hinata, as both acknowledgement and a signal to fuck off.

The girls left slowly, their eyes drifting up and down Kageyama because _fuck_ , he looked _good_ tonight.

Hinata’s mouth was sore, from grinning so hard and he thought about their stupid competition that bordered on flirting. Hinata was winning so far, Kageyama was the last to wear a blush and Hinata lazily looked Kageyama up, down, up again and straight into his eyes.

“Hey,” he said, his voice drowned down by the heavy music but Kageyama could hear it, could see his lips forming into a greeting before falling back into its usual smile. He came closer and Hinata quickly glanced back, to see where his friends were. They stood around the staircase, watching discretely and giggling among themselves.

“Thought you weren’t coming,” Kageyama said, hovering over Hinata purposely.

“I wasn’t going to but then I thought how lonely you’d be,” Hinata grinned and Kageyama rolled his eyes.

“So you came for me?” Kageyama asked, voice low, eyes low and Hinata froze up.

“Don’t say it like...that,” Hinata breathed, cheeks heating up into red. Kageyama stayed silent but he was close, he was really close and Hinata could smell strawberry smoke.

“You blushed. 57 to 58. You’re winning,” Kageyama said and he raised an eyebrow, “nevermind, 58 to 58.”

“What are you talking about, that was one extended blush,” Hinata argued, “anyways, you’re keeping count?”

“Yeah, someone has to.”

“Wh- you just assumed I’m not counting?”

“Are you counting?”

“N- no but-”

“My point still stands then,” Kageyama concludes and Hinata frowned, out of pettiness, before laughing.

“So it was mutual all this time, huh?” Hinata clarified and Kageyama nodded, unsure but quiet. Hinata bit around his tongue, elevated by an unusual feeling of- of joy? Maybe it was closer to pride, or satisfaction but he felt confident, felt his eyes snapping back up to meet Kageyamas’.

He bit his bottom lip and let his fingers drift to run down Kageyama’s bare arm. It was unspoken rule to not touch, to not run fingertips along skin but Hinata didn’t care, it didn’t count- they weren’t at school.

It wasn’t an excuse, it was a crooked justification and Kageyama didn’t pull away but they both stared at each other.

“You look good. Tonight.”

He was met with silence and he faltered; had he gone too far? Maybe he was pushing it, maybe he shouldn’t have touched him so obviously but Kageyama was pushing himself into Hinata’s space until Hinata’s back was flushed against the railing. Kageyama stretched his arms out, to grip the railing on either side of Hinata, trapping him.

Hinata looked at his arms, at the muscles flexing under the dimmed lighting, under the veins stretched down to bandaids and calluses. He looked back at Kageyama, at the distance between them, at the distance between their lips.

Kageyama was watching too, observing quietly. He was always observing Hinata, he realised, he had always felt his eyes following crooked steps to prove himself. Kageyama must’ve felt his own stares upon him as well.

“Yeah?” Kageyama leaned in closer, his hands slipping farther down the railings, “I know.”

A gasp caught at his throat and his knees buckled. He slid down the railings too fast and Kageyama backed away quickly, alarmed. Hinata slid back up, hands resting atop Kageyama’s, their eyes still locked. Kageyama’s eyes glinted and he moved in closer.

Kageyama was probably high, maybe even drunk, not even in control of his action, motions, words, Hinata knew, he knew Kageyama was probably not himself. But he didn’t have time to consider what influences Kageyama was under, all he could think about was how intoxicating Kageyama smelled, how his pupils were blown wide and how his lips were so fucking pink, so pretty- he was _so pretty_ -

Perhaps he too was under the influence of Kageyama because his mouth refused to function, refused to make words that would quell the blush from under his cheeks but it didn’t matter anymore, he didn’t have time to think about his flushed face or how Kageyama was winning- it wasn’t a competition anymore.

He lunged forward, catching Kageyama’s lips between his and his heart thrummed to the beat of his own anxieties and adrenaline.

It was too short, too long, Kageyama tasted like strawberry, his lips were soft and Hinata didn’t know how to kiss.

Kageyama kissed back, Hinata was sure he did because he didn’t pull away, his hands were still wrapped tightly around the the railings and his tongue stud brushed against the quivers of Hinata’s lips.

He jerked back as fast as he initiated the kiss and Kageyama stared, lips parted, lips red and he looked good like that, he looked so good but he was straight, he was so straight and probably drunk and Hinata had breached the laws of harmlessly crushing on a heterosexual jerk.

Because this wasn’t harmless, this was too assertive, too impulsive, too brash and sudden and Hinata was breaking out from the bonds of Kageyama’s arms, apologising in both English and Japanese before running down the stairs.

Kageyama didn’t run after him and Hinata was too scared to look back. Maybe Kageyama was scrubbing at his lips, spitting out the taste of Hinata. Maybe he was standing stock still, vowing to never talk to Hinata.

It didn't matter, Hinata had ruined their unspoken bond.


	3. confess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my chapters keep getting longer and longer im sorry

The hinges of the door cried as Kageyama came in, late and sour. The classroom was draped in darkness, the only light source was from the smart board and the curtains shifting from the wind, letting out a sliver of daylight.

The boys in the back were quietly making slingshots out of pens and flicking expired m&ms into each others mouths while the boys in the front slept with their eyes glued to the screen.

Hinata huddled inwards defensive, awkward, tense.

Kageyama pulled up the seat behind him, sitting down with a short, “whump!”

Hinata’s shoulders clenched closer to his neck and he drew a continuous circle on his notebook instead of taking notes.

The class had a strong hum of scattered murmurs, of girls talking in hushed whispers that weren’t much louder than their normal voices, of the teacher shushing the class every few seconds, but by far, the loudest noise was the consistent tap of Kageyama’s fingers along the wooden desk.

It churned Hinata’s stomach, made him think of Kageyama gripping the railings with a red grip and Hinata let his head fall to his desk, tired from overthinking.

Class ended but the videos continued playing. Students rose sluggishly, as if finally realising time had passed them but Hinata rose up quickly, his bags already packed before he ran out, leaving Kageyama no room to breathe, to follow.

He wasn’t avoiding Kageyama, he just- he- perhaps he was. He spent lunch in the bathroom stall, so Kageyama wouldn’t see him in the flesh.

He didn’t mean to run away, didn’t mean to avert eyes and pace away- he meant to ignore and power through. But it was hard to continue, hard to power through when Kageyama’s mere existence would remind him of the elevation he had felt, of the adrenaline pumping to the low thrum of the bass.

Plus, he couldn’t imagine how Kageyama would react if they were left alone, he might beat Hinata into the ground and come to school the next day with more bandaids resting along his knuckles. He might even spit on Hinata, tell him he was gross and they’d be back to where they started except Hinata wouldn’t have the privilege of staring at Kageyama from across the room.

So he avoided Kageyama in every circumstances where those consequences could occur, he practiced through the 15 minute breaks during his track meets and he would run to his locker and out in a matter of seconds.

Avoidance still wasn't his strongest suit and his ability to be elusive was weak. He spent another track practice, running without breaks. He ran until he was the last one there, giving Kageyama a good 15 minutes to leave.

He walked to his bike and doubled over, startling a scream out of him. He felt boneless and he laid on the ground, his chest heaving dangerously. He stood back up, the pause between his movements reminding him about a deep ache running from his thighs down his shin. He held onto the handles of his bike, to steady himself. His legs screamed in defeat and his mind whirred.

He tried lifting his leg to straddle his bike but it wouldn’t move. It stayed buried in the dirt and Hinata muffled his anguished scream by pressing his lips together.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Hinata whirled around quickly, his expression tense with anxiety and shivering fear. His legs twisted on its own and he fell on his ass, the fall reverberating through his aching bones and he clenched his jaw and held onto his legs, trying to steady the pain.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,” Hinata chanted and he felt the familiar figure crouch down beside him.

“What happened?”

“I dunno! I ran too much, I think, ow-”

“You dumbass, you absolute idiot- you should be taking breaks!”

“I know!” Hinata snapped back.

Kageyama glared at him and it felt like they were locking eyes after years of aversion. Kageyama growled under his breath and rolled his eyes.

“Then why do you keep running?” he asked. His voice had a tremble to it, a snarl and Hinata wondered if his words ran deeper than that. He looked away; he wasn’t ready to face the consequences of his circumstances.

“Can you stand?” Kageyama asked and Hinata tried, only to whimper in defeat. Kageyama sighed and looped his arm around Hinata’s back, lifting him up with ease and Hinata gasped at their proximity.

Hinata adjusted his feet to the ground- he felt dramatic, acting like he couldn’t walk. He could walk, he was absolutely capable of walking if he ignored his pain. But he leaned into Kageyama as he steered him to the volleyball changing rooms.

“This is…” Hinata never finished his sentence and Kageyama let go. Hinata wobbled to the long bench in the middle.

It smelled like most changing rooms, old musk and artificial deodorant. Hinata glared at the ground and quietly blew away the orange strands of hair that draped over his eyes.

Kageyama straddled the bench with a sigh and glared- or maybe he was staring normally, Hinata couldn’t tell. He held recovery tape in one hand and with the other, he unwinded it carefully.

“Stretch out your legs,” Kageyama commanded and Hinata looked up, gnawing at his bottom lip. He stretched his legs out, stopping when the ends of his shoes hit Kageyama’s thigh. The taller of the two sighed and grabbed Hinata’s ankles, pulling him closer and laying each leg on either side of his on knees.

Hinata leaned his weight onto his hands, his breath stuttering- they were _touching_ , bare skin against bare skin.

“...it hurt?”

Hinata’s breathing fell apart into gasps and he shook his head, looking up. Kageyama was already staring at him, an eyebrow peaking up in annoyance.

“Sorry?”

“I said where does it hurt?”

“Oh. Um,” Hinata ran his fingers along the insides of his thighs up to the back of his calves. Kageyama nodded, focusing his attention on Hinata’s legs. He followed the traces Hinata left behind, and he ran calloused fingertips along the stiff muscles, pressing gently, before pressing harder.

“Does that hurt-”

“Hey, um, I can do it, don’t worry about it, give me the tape-”

“Fuck no, you think I trust you to take care of yourself?”

Hinata clenched his fists, “well, I want to!”

“I don’t care,” Kageyama pressed his thumbs into the tender area along Hinata’s thigh and he groaned in both pain and pleasure, cheeks cherry red.

He unwrapped the tape more and began wrapping, his fingers careful around Hinata’s skin, his palm pressing firmly around the muscle.

Silence outlined them both and Hinata stared, watching Kageyama’s longer fingers linger without hesitation.

Hinata didn’t know how to talk to Kageyama.

He looked away before feeling guilty- fuck-

“S- so, um, if you punch me, do it on the stomach. It’s weird to explain when it’s on the face,” Hinata rambled and Kageyama’s fingers stilled.

“What?”

It was soft, his voice was soft and he stared up, the heat gone from his eyes.

Hinata fought the urge to pull his legs back, “if you punch me-”

“I fucking heard but _what?_ Why would I punch you?”

“For...well you know!”

“No?”

“The- the-” Hinata’s voice dropped to a whisper and he leaned in, “the _kiss_.”

Kageyama’s eyes cleared and he rolled his eyes.

“You’re a moron.”

Hinata stayed silent, agreeing for once. Kageyama’s head snapped up, almost aggressively.

“Well? Say something back! Whinge like you always do.”

"I don’t _whinge_ \- and no, I am a moron. I didn’t mean to kiss you. Well- ok that’s- that’s not true, I did mean to but I’m sorry it happened and by that I- I mean-”

He hadn’t meant to bring it up, the topic of the _Kiss_ but avoidance really was _not_ his strongest suit.

Kageyama slapped Hinata’s thighs, to shut him up, “forget about it.”

Hinata bit at his lips, “so are you mad about it? Do you hate me?”

Kageyama shook his head as he weaved the tape around Hinata’s leg, “of course I’m not mad and quit taking all the blame- I kissed you back too, didn’t I?”

“I- yes,” Hinata said and Kageyama moved onto the other leg. Hinata bumbled with words, to distract himself from the feeling of Kageyama’s warm hands skirting along the edges of his muscles, “so, I didn’t ruin anything? With the kiss?”

Kageyama stopped completely.

“I don’t know,” Kageyama answered and Hinata frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. You ruined everything by avoiding me.”

Hinata’s heart stopped beating, he pulled his legs back and Kageyama growled at him as Hinata winced.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I thought you were gonna beat me up and then beat me up again. And I didn’t want to die yet!”

Kageyama grabbed at his hair and listened to Hinata whine for him to let go for ten seconds.

“You’re a dumbass, an idiot, a moron, a fool-”

“Ok, ok-”

“You’re stupid! Why would I hurt you over something like that? You’re the most dramatic idiot I’ve met in my entire life!”

“Hey! I- it’s not dumb to assume, you’re impulsive. You do things I don’t understand which makes it hard to predict your next move.”

Kageyama scoffed, “you’re the exact same for me. Pisses me off.”

“You piss me off too,” Hinata retorted, without any edge, “but...I wanna understand you better.”

Kageyama fiddled with the tape. Quiet.

Then, a sigh interrupted their thoughts.

“I want to understand you too.”

A pause.

Hinata inhaled and the sun dipped lower.

His face broke into a gradual grin before he was giggling, his ribs humming to the tune of quiet excitement.

“Yeah?” Hinata said, excited. He didn’t wait for Kageyama’s inevitable confirmation. He clapped his hands together, “I’ll sit with you at lunch tomorrow, ok?”

Kageyama looked down, prodding at the tape around Hinata’s legs, trying to conceal his own smile.

Hinata told Ilya first.

“Me and Tobio are friends,” he declared and his girlfriend whipped around to stare at Hinata.

“Ok?”

Ilya stared, before the context clicked in his mind.

“Oh. Cool but weren’t you two making out at Adam’s house?”

Hinata spluttered and so did Ilya’s girlfriend, Corinna.

“Huh?! What? When was this? Where? Why didn’t you say anything- you-” she whirled to face Hinata, “what the fuck? How?”

Hinata’s eyes widened and he took advantage of their frenzied state and squeezed behind them to open his locker.

He told both Tania and Ellie after and they both clapped.

“Also, how does Ilya know? Did you guys tell him I kissed Kageyama?”

Ellie patted his shoulder, “honey, some people have eyes.”

“Also, how have we not talked about it properly yet?” Tania asked, “come on, how was it? What happened? How did it lead to that? What did it feel like? Was he a good kisser? How good? You’re so fucking luck Shou.”

Hinata looked over to see Kageyama’s table empty.

“I- I’ll tell you later. I wanna beat Kageyama to his seat so bye!”

He rushed to the table before clambering to the corner, where Kageyama usually sat. He stayed there, scrolling through his phone as he waited until he was interrupted by a lone shadow.

He looked up and Kageyama stared down. He licked his lips, throat bobbing silently then:

“...Hi.”

Hinata beamed, “hey.”

“Why the fuck are you in my spot?”

Hinata’s grin vanished and he looked at his seat before shrugging, “I do what I want.”

Kageyama rolled his eyes, settling into the seat next to Hinata.

Night settled in like a warm blanket over Hinata’s bone tired bones. Kageyama had forced Hinata to sit next to him during their breaks in between club- to make sure he was resting his stupid legs.

It made Hinata warm, made him sad that they were only friends and nothing more, made him happy that he even had the opportunity to be Kageyama’s friend.

He laid limply under his sheets, shifting from side to side. He reached for his phone and tapped on Instagram. He gnawed at his bottom lip as he shakily typed in Kageyama’s user. His hot breath under the blankets fogged up his screen and his fingers slipped but whatever. He had no new posts and the amount of people he followed remained 0 and grey. His eyes flickered the the follower count, at the numbers ranging above 950 and he breathed out shakily. He wanted to follow, he wanted to be that one person Kageyama followed back.

But it was unreasonable, right? Maybe he needed to be closer to Kageyama to even get him to follow back.

His breath fogged up the screen and he swiped at it, trying to clear the condensation only to press the follow button. He jolted up, out from under his blankets to stare at his screen in shock.

He froze, fuck- he couldn’t unfollow, Kageyama might see the old notification if he did anyways. He locked his phone and threw it under his pillow as he freaked out in a series of upset groans and sighs.

He grabbed at his phone again and delved into the group chat he had with Tania and Ellie. He screamed his troubles, crying through sets of emoticons and extended letters. They cried with him, matching his dramatic flair with their own.

 

_**shouyoyo_10:** wELL WAT DO I DO NOW HE KNOWS I EXISTTTTTTTT _

_**taniasaur:** ITS OK SHOU MAYBE HE DOESNT CHECK IG OFTEN?????? _

_**shouyoyo_10:** HES ALWYS SCROLING ON HIS PHONE WDYMMMMMMMMMMMM _

_**shouyoyo_10:** sHUD I BRING IT UP 2MOROW???? IF HE DOESNT FOLOW BACK _

**_elliephant is typing…_ **

 

Hinata clicked to check his activity, refreshing the screen every few seconds out of nocturnal anxiety. He tapped onto the explore page, scrolling past DIY videos and his eyes flickered down, catching the last seconds of a red bubble. He hurriedly tapped to check his activity, his eyes hovering over the uniformed letters.

 

_**m1lkbo.y started following you** _

 

Hinata muffled a screech with his fingers and he clicked onto Kageyama’s profile, refreshing it twice. There he stood, the only account in the ‘following’ section and he screeched internally. He spilled his excitements and murmurs of exhilaration into the group chat, not giving the two girls a second to breathe.

A stray notification receded into his screen.

 

_**m1lkbo.y:** go to sleep dumbass _

 

Hinata clicked onto the message, his fingers shaking with too many nerves, too many answers. He inhaled sharply, don’t freak _out_ \- it’s just _Kageyama_.

But he was freaking out _because_ it was just _Kageyama_ \- and he slapped himself, _idiot_ - _just answer, don’t leave him on_ _read_.

 

_**shouyoyo_10:** I CUD SAY THE SAME FOR U!!!!!!!!!!! ٩(ఠ益ఠ)۶ ٩(ఠ益ఠ)۶ _

_**m1lkbo.y:** idiot _

_**m1lkbo.y:** ur such a loser for using those emoticons _

_**shouyoyo_10:** WATS WRONG W MY EMOTICONS???????? _

_**m1lkbo.y:** everything _

_**shouyoyo_10:** ヽ(‵﹏´)ノ ヽ(‵﹏´)ノヽ(‵﹏´)ノヽ(‵﹏´)ノヽ(‵﹏´)ノ _

_**shouyoyo_10:** (｡•́︿•̀｡) _

_**shouyoyo_10:** ｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡ _

_**m1lkbo.y:** stop it _

_**m1lkbo.y:** ur an idiot _

_**shouyoyo_10:** doNT BE SO MEAN THSE R MY FEELINGS!!! _

_**shouyoyo_10:** uR SO BITTER !!!!!!!! u need sum love (≧◡≦) ♡ _

_**m1lkbo.y:** that one actually looks like u _

_**m1lkbo.y:** lowkey _

_**shouyoyo_10:** AWWWWWW THANK U _

_**shouyoyo_10:** ((╬◣﹏◢)) THATS U _

_**m1lkbo.y:** shUT UP U STUPID BITCH _

_**shouyoyo_10:** hAHAHAHAHAHA _

_**shouyoyo_10:** i bET U 1 DOLLAR THAT U LOOK LIK THT RN _

Hinata hurriedly switched to the group chat, as Kageyama typed away, probably furiously.

 

_**shouyoyo_10:** HES TA;LKING TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE _

_**shouyoyo_10:** GUYSSSSSSSSSSSS _

_**elliephant:** ok but u guys talk everyday now _

_**shouyoyo_10:** iTS DIFFERENT ONLINE BC _

_**shouyoyo_10:** iDK IT JUST IS _

_**shouyoyo_10:** he should be slEEPING BUT INSTEAD HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME!!!!!!! ISNT THAT A BIG DEAL??????????? _

_**taniasaur:** ur so gay shou _

_**shouyoyo_10:** ヾ(`ヘ´)ﾉﾞ iM NOTTTT _

 

Another interruption and Hinata looked up.

 

_**m1lkbo.y:** ur wrong _

_**m1lkbo.y:** anyways u play volleyball? _

_**m1lkbo.y:** why didnt u tell me _

 

Hinata stifled a gasp and he sat upright in his bed. He clicked to his own profile and stumbled through the 300 posts- how far had Kageyama scrolled down? Did that mean Kageyama- _Kageyama_ - had stalked him?

It made him feel giddy and slightly more significant than he really is and he scrolled through loading posts to find photos of him grinning with his old team.

 

_**shouyoyo_10:** heheee it nVER CAME UP! _

_**m1lkbo.y:** u should’ve made it come up _

_**shouyoyo_10:** (o-_-o) _

_**m1lkbo.y:** idk what that emotion is _

_**m1lkbo.y:** anyways what were u? libero? _

_**shouyoyo_10:** wH U JST ASSUMED???? BC IM SHoRT???? _

_**m1lkbo.y:** well yeah _

_**m1lkbo.y:** its an educated guess idiot _

_**shouyoyo_10:** (╬ Ò﹏Ó) nO by th waY i ws actaully a MIDDLE BLOCKER _

_**m1lkbo.y:** nah _

_**shouyoyo_10:** WAT DO U MEeN NAH I WAS _

_**m1lkbo.y:** howd u end up middleblocker _

_**shouyoyo_10:** I JMPED!!! Im reslly gopd at jumping and rnning!!! _

_**m1lkbo.y:** nice _

_**m1lkbo.y:** i wanna see _

_sh **ouyoyo_10:** i thnk i hve sum vidros!!! _

_**m1lkbo.y:** why didnt u join vball team here _

_**shouyoyo_10:** CUZ U SUCKED!!! _

_**shouyoyo_10 :** and u pissed mE OFF!!! _

_**m1lkbo.y:** well _

_**m1lkbo.y:** i dont suck and i dont piss u off anymore _

_**shouyoyo_10:** how do u know that _

_**m1lkbo.y:** ????? _

_**m1lkbo.y:** im not stupid???? idiot _

_**m1lkbo.y:** anyways u should join ig. If u want to _

_**shouyoyo_10:** YEAH????? I WANT TO!!!!! _

_**shouyoyo_10:** but _

_**shouyoyo_10:** i donT THINK I CAN _

_**shouyoyo_10:** since im in the track team _

_**m1lkbo.y:** right _

_**shouyoyo_10:** why do u WANT ME TO JOIN SO BADLY HUH??????? _

_**m1lkbo.y:** shut the fuck up ur so loud _

_**shouyoyo_10:** HOW CAN I BE LOUD IM TEXTING U _

_**shouyoyo_10:** answer MY QUESTION _

_**m1lkbo.y:** ur stILL LOUD EVEN OVER TEXT IDIOT and idk i wanna see u jump _

_**shouyoyo_10:** i said I HAVE A VIDEO!!! _

_**m1lkbo.y:** not the same as real life _

_**m1lkbo.y:** ok im going to sleep dont talk to me _

_**shouyoyo_10:** WOW UR SO NICE ヽ(`⌒´メ)ノ ヽ(`⌒´メ)ノ _

_**m1lkbo.y:** shut up _

_**m1lkbo.y:** good night _

_**shouyoyo_10:** GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ _

 

Hinata stared, at the chat. He had been left on read but he was too busy scrolling to the top and revisiting the exchange, the light trills he felt when Kageyama replied. Time picked up and it was 3am and Hinata was still staring at the quiet “good night” and the quieter need to see Hinata jump, soar, _fly_.

It was ridiculous. Hinata was obsessed. The girls were asleep and he sighed, dropping his phone to his bedside table, trying to sleep to the sound of crickets and his thoughts.

He twisted and turned, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the “good night” couldn’t stop thinking about Kageyama. He sighed, furrowing his eyebrows to a frown- why did he care so much? When did he start caring?

Maybe he had cared from the beginning, maybe he had been infatuated with the quiet boy with eyes the colour of midnight since the very second they met.

It had been easy to ignore the quiet feelings in the beginning, mostly because Kageyama had such a horrid personality that drained his appearance into a grey shell. But Kageyama was just as human as Hinata, he had realised, and he liked Hinata’s company enough to initiate his own conversations, assert his own opinions, bicker with no heat.

It made Hinata smile, thoughts of Kageyama ducking his head to hide his overwhelming blush whirred through his mind. Thoughts of their proximity flitted through his closed eyes and all he could see under the darkness of his lids was Kageyama. He could see Kageyama’s arms trapping him against the railings as he stared with purpose; the taste of lips against lips, of blocked air and tongue studs, of hazy looks under the heavy influence of music.

He wanted to kiss him again and to that realisation, Hinata’s composure crumpled with ease. He drew his knees to his chest, eyes wide. He sighed quietly- why did he have to Truly Realise this obvious crush now, under the curtains of night where his thoughts had nowhere to run except the insides of his mind?

Kageyama knew about Hinata’s attraction- he had to know, they had made an idiotic game out of Hinata’s genuine compliments- and Hinata wondered again, if Kageyama knew about his crush.

About his feelings that ran deeper than shallow attraction.

He wondered what Kageyama thought about him, what made him kiss Hinata back, what made him want to understand Hinata the same way Hinata wanted to understand him. Maybe he had pure intentions, maybe he wanted nothing more than tentative friendship. But- but sometimes he would catch Kageyama’s gaze on him lingering, staying even when Hinata caught his eyes.

Sometimes Kageyama’s eyes would flicker down, to Hinata’s lips and he would look away, quietly brushing fingertips against his own lips- the same lips under scrutiny.

But sometimes he would shove away Hinata if he got too close, mutter out of context lines like “I’m not gay,” or “I’m straight.”

Hinata sighed. He was thinking too hard about something not as deep as his feelings.

He went through facts that were in fact confirmed: He likes Kageyama too much and Kageyama is straight.

He remembered his conversation with Tania, remembering her shallow words of Kageyama’s personality. “He’s never really committed,” she had said, “one second he wants to date and the next he doesn’t give a fuck.”

He chuckled without humour, God he hated his brain and his stupid tendencies to like things at the wrong times.

Again his thoughts reverted back to the kiss, how Kageyama kissed back. Maybe the reciprocation was just another product of his impulsive tendencies and Hinata sighed, closing his eyes, determined to sleep it off.

Kageyama wasn’t at school the following Friday, his team had a match against another school and Hinata sulked with Ellie and Tania.

“If you were a guy, would you date me?” He asked, resting his cheek on the table. Tania’s eyes widened, surprised by the question.

“I mean, I’d date you as a girl so,” she shrugged.

“But as a guy,” Hinata clarified, “would you?”

Ellie tilted his head, “yeah, sure. Oi, Jay, what do you think?” she called for the boy next to her. She swung an arm around his neck and brought him in close to the conversation, “if you were a guy, would you date Shou?”

“‘If?’” he scoffed, “bitch, I _am_  a guy.”

“Then answer,” Ellie scolded and he rolled his eyes. He stared at Hinata through his glasses and Hinata crumpled under the hesitation.

“You don’t have to answer,” he sighed.

“If I was gay,” Jay continued, “then yeah. But I’m not gay so-”

“Whatever,” Ellie snorted before pushing him out of the conversation, “is this about Kageyama?”

“I dunno!” Hinata whined, “yeah. But he doesn’t like me, so. But he’s straight so it’s whatever.”

“Do you like him?” Tania gasped.

“Obviously,” Hinata lifted his head up to sulk in a taller position, “I’m sad,” he concluded his slow outburst.

The girls filled him with false hope, “he kissed you back for a reason didn’t he?” and they grinned as he grinned.

He deflated when he saw Kageyama after school, his hair wet from the water he had dunked his head under and breath heavy.

“How was it?” Hinata asked and Kageyama shrugged.

“We won. Obviously.”

“Yeah?” Hinata grinned and Kageyama took a step back, “congrats!”

“...Thanks,” Kageyama nodded and Hinata rolled his eyes.

“Hey! So, we’re having an event next Thursday. Track event. I’m gonna run in an actual...event, you should come, yeah?”

“Well yeah, isn’t the whole school gonna watch?” Kageyama asked and Hinata pouted.

“Yeah, but people skip out all the time right? And you always skip classes so...don’t skip my event.”

“Dumbass,” Kageyama rolled his eyes, “it’s not like I have anything better to do.”

Hinata nudged his shoulder and Kageyama nudged him back.

“You better win gold.”

Hinata stared, eyes glittering before he ducked his head down, his cheeks tinted with rouge.

“...O-obviously.”

Hinata may not be skilled with subtlety or avoidance, but he was skilled at repression.

Kageyama looked beautiful under the sunset glow, paling his eyes into seafoam.

Hinata kept it to himself, bottled it up and tossed it into an abyss far from his mind. He smiled instead, to his friend who will remain a friend.

Days came and went, he sat next to Kageyama during breaks, knees close but not touching. Sometimes Kageyama stayed after track meets, timing Hinata as he ran and ran and _ran_. He complained when Hinata wouldn’t slow down to catch air, to catch breaks in between.

“Fine, idiot, go collapse during your event, see if I care,” Kageyama rolled his eyes, still holding out a bottle of lukewarm water. Hinata grumbled between heavy pants.

“Meanie,” he replied, taking the bottle and sitting haphazardly on the floor.

“Dumbass.”

“Jerk.”

“Moron-”

“Dumbass.”

“You can’t use my own insult against me!” Kageyama complained and Hinata scoffed.

“What? You think you invented ‘dumbass?’” Hinata laughed, “that makes you more of a dumbass!”

“I never said that!”

Kageyama lunged out to tussle, to mess up Hinata’s hair beyond recognition and Hinata protested between snorts, kicking out to stop the attacks.

Hinata told Yamaguchi all about everything, Yamaguchi listened while scribbling on his homework, adding in commentary of his own.

 _Sounds like you’re having a lot of fun there,_  Yamaguchi said when Hinata’s voice died off, tired from chatting. Hinata took a swig of water and sighed.

 _Yeah, I would have more fun if I didn’t like stupid Kageyama the way I like him,_ Hinata grumbled, _do you think he likes me back?_

Yamaguchi paused and laughed quietly _, I don’t know Hinata, I’m not there._

 _Wish you were,_  Hinata frowned, _wish everyone was here._

Hinata asked if Yamaguchi would ever come to America and Yamaguchi grinned through the phone.

 _Those Westerners scare me,_ he said, his soft voice picking up, _we could visit as a group, me, Yachi and Tsukki._

Hinata grinned, _you should come this weekend, I miss everyone._

To that, Yamaguchi broke down laughing and Hinata joined in.

 _Hey, get someone to record you when you run in your event, I’m sure everyone here wants to see,_ Yamaguchi requested and Hinata hummed in agreement.

It was next Thursday already and Hinata was packed with nerves. He stretched out his legs for the third time, watching the crowd as students flowed around the edges of the stadium. Tania and Ellie hung over the railings, phones charged in their hands to record him. They wished him luck and it was kinda embarrassing how they yelled out to him, like excited mothers.

There were two other schools, their track uniforms darker in colour. They stared sometimes, communicating in nudges and muffled laughter. Hinata ignored them and Jay sat down beside Hinata, ruffling his hair.

“Nervous?” He asked and Hinata nodded.

“I’m gonna vomit,” he answered and Jay laughed, subtly adding distance between them.

“Mood.”

Ellie kept looking around and so did Hinata. He stared at the benches, at the students sneaking in food.

“Tobio’s not here,” he muttered, more to himself and Jay touched the tips of his toes.

“Oh. Yeah, I don’t think he ever comes to track events,” Jay said, pushing up his glasses and Hinata frowned.

“Hey, how are you gonna run with glasses?”

Waiting was more nerve wracking than running. Hinata held his breath, watching the 15 year old age group run through the tracks, their feet beating against the tartan track. The 16 year olds ran after and Hinata breathed heavily- he was next.

He glanced at the crowd again, disappointment weighing heavily against his heart. But then he saw him, next to both Tania and Ellie, breathing heavily and clenching tight onto the railings as he leaned forward.

“Shou, hurry,” Jay waved and Hinata’s mouth broke into a grin. He stood where he needed to, eyes drifting to Kageyama every few seconds. He waved once, brightly before he focused on the track, on his own breathing and the nerves jumping around his muscles.

A gunshot.

Feet trembled.

And he _ran._

His feet thundered against the track as he flew forward, easing his breathing into calm strokes, pushing as far as he could go. It took him one lap to reach second place. The cheers weren’t as loud as his heartbeat and he kept going, eyebrows furrowing into raw determination.

He was far ahead by the second lap. Sweat beaded down his neck, down his furrowed brows, down across his lips- he pressed his mouth to a thin line before he pushed harder, ran faster, fell deeper.

It happened too fast, too slow but he stepped wrong at the right time, twisting his foot slightly before falling forward, into a roll. The others behind him slowed down, to stare, to ponder if they should help, to laugh before they continued running, at a higher speed.

He could hear the crowd now and he could see his coach running for him.

Gritting his teeth, Hinata stood up and hissed at the blood running down his knee. He kept running, starting off slow to adjust to the pain before running harder, the adrenaline numbing out the pain.

The third lap was falling closer and he huffed, rushing through the tiring athletes to fall into 6th place, 5th place and just as the finishing line drew close, he finished 3rd.

Jay came 4 seconds later before exploding into rushed rambles, “what the _fuck_  Shou- Are you fucking ok?!”

Hinata collapsed on the ground, gasping for air that wasn’t coming in fast enough. Some of the boys from the other schools stared at Hinata, their eyes flickering to the blood running down his leg.

“Jesus…”

“Dude, that was...that was pretty cool,” someone said, grinning, “you good?”

Hinata smiled back before he was interrupted by his coach’s angered bellows.

“Why would you keep running after getting injured? Are you ok?! Show me your leg- are you hurt anywhere else? You looked like you hit your head-”

Hinata laughed while stretching his leg out.

“I tucked my head in when I fell, so my head is ok. Can I have some water?”

“This kid…”

He was taken to the side as the 18 year olds fixed their laces before their race. Hinata sat down by the bleachers, wincing as his knee joint crumpled the red stained bandaid. A hand cuffed his head and Hinata fell forward, grabbing the back of his head with an exaggerated, “ow!”

He whipped around, glaring at Kageyama who was glaring right back.

“What’s wrong with you moron?!”

Some of the athletes from the other schools stared, the nozzles of their bottles pausing around their lips.

“What’s wrong with _you?_ ” Hinata yelled, “why would you hit someone already injured?”

“‘Cause you deserve it, idiot.”

Hinata stuck out his tongue as Kageyama climbed over the seat to slump next to Hinata.

“I didn’t choose to fall.”

“Should’ve been more careful. Could’ve won gold.”

Hinata stared at his hands, angry at the blame, at the speculations of what could’ve happened if he didn't fuck up. He stayed quiet, second hand regret toiling in his stomach- was Kageyama disappointed in him? He bit his bottom lip, of course he was, he trained with Hinata for _gold,_  not stupid bronze-

There was a hand over his head and fingers curled around his hair before slipping down his nape to rest at the start of his spine.

“Kinda cool how you managed to come third after fucking up your knee like that. Not a lot of runners can do that.”

Hinata looked up, the shame in his eyes gone with the wind and he beamed crookedly.

“So you can be nice!”

Kageyama brought his hand up, back into Hinata’s hair to pull harshly. Hinata gasped in surprise, his head reeling back and Kageyama let go.

“Dumbass.”

They left shortly after Hinata stood up on the shortest podium, cheeks glowing as his Coach hung the bronze medal around his neck. His team cheered and the winner of the gold medal- Samuele- stared down, grinning.

“You run good for someone so short.”

Hinata’s grin soured to a frown, “I’m not short! You Americans are just super tall!”

Samuele laughed and after a picture, they jumped off the podiums.

“You could win next time, if you don’t fall over,” Samuele commented and Hinata pulled at his medallion.

“Could? I definitely will win next time, watch me,” Hinata promised and the guy, this new stranger leaned in close.

“I will.”

He walked with Hinata back to the bleachers, “what’s your name?”

“Hin- uh, Shouyou. You’re Samuele right? I won’t lose to you.”

Samuele regarded him with a strange look before his brown eyes twinkled and his lips quirked into a smirk.

He walked off, “cute,” and Hinata frowned, confused, alarmed.

Cute?

He opened his mouth, a retort playing on the edge of his lips but he saw Kageyama kicking dust on the outskirts of the field. He was wearing a leather jacket as the sun fell deeper down. He looked good. He looked fucking gorgeous.

“T-Tobio!” he yelled, running to his side and Kageyama told him to slow the fuck down, idiot, your _leg-_

Hinata grinned, _whatever_ \- he asked where Tania and Ellie went and Kageyama offered a shrug.

“I took a video,” he said as they walked slowly out and Hinata raised an eyebrow.

“Did you now?”

“The girls were too fucking hyped to film so. Whatever.”

“Thanks, you didn’t have to, you know?”

“I know.”

Hinata’s lips wobbled as he held in a smile.

“Let’s get something to eat!”

Kageyama ducked his head down, wind blowing his hair to the side. Hinata stared.

“There’s a hotdog place nearby- fuck,” Kageyama broke off to shiver under the frigid wind, “wear a fucking jacket, dumbass.”

“But I’m hot,” Hinata whined and Kageyama rolled his eyes.

“You especially need to wear a jacket, you’re gonna fuck up your body temperature.”

Hinata rolled his eyes dramatically before pulling on the varsity jacket he got after joining the track team.

They walked close together, huddling to get through the crowd. The wind nipped at Hinata’s nose and he looked at Kageyama who was staring straight ahead. He looked down at their hands. They swung together, close but not close enough. It would be easy to reach sideways and skim his fingers along Kageyama’s knuckles.

He shoved his hands into his pockets, scared of temptation.

Hinata said he had never had mustard before and Kageyama sputtered on air as they ordered. He forced Hinata to buy one and he himself stuck with a hotdog drizzled in ketchup.

They sat on the curb, watching cars filter by, watching the sun drop lower and lower under the horizons until the sky was livid with orange and pink.

“Wow,” Hinata breathed, eyes flickering over the details of the clouds, of the birds flying through the soft, white waves in the sky. His hotdog was paused at his lips and he looked up, to call attention to Kageyama to see him staring at him already.

“I- what?”

“Nothing. Try the hotdog.”

Hinata took a bite before spluttering- the taste of mustard was sharp and he coughed, not expecting such a distinct flavour.

He chewed slowly, frowning a bit.

“What’s wrong with your tastebuds?” Kageyama rolled his eyes and Hinata argued through the food clogging his speech.

They switched at the end, eating quietly, enjoying the silence as they watched the pink flow into dark orange mutually. They both finished their hot dogs but neither made a move to leave. Or talk.

Hinata looked over at Kageyama, wondering if he found the silence awkward but his eyes were glazed over as he stared beyond the horizon, wind sifting through his hair and shirt. He looked serene; at peace.

Hinata sighed too, looking where Kageyama was looking.

Silence was never something he found awkward. Sometimes he would spend hours going through his homework with Yamaguchi or Yachi on the line, going through his own homework. They wouldn’t speak, for hours and Tsukishima thought it was purposeless, what’s the point of calling if you’re not gonna talk?

But it was nice feeling company, the silence didn’t feel lonely like this.

The Americans functioned differently, he realised. Sometimes he would fall silent after long tirades of speech and the girls would shuffle nervously, asking if he was mad, why are you so quiet for? What’s wrong? Why are you not talking?

Hinata had laughed, assured them he was fine, he was just thinking, processing the past discussions, appreciating past words.

The filled silences every chance they got, putting on music when it was unavoidable. It bothered Hinata sometimes, he never had time to think, to reflect.

He liked spending time with Kageyama- as friends- he was a calm figure among a storm. He enunciated his thoughts when he needed to, entertained Hinata’s own ruminations. He drew silent sometimes, in tune with Hinata’s own lapses of silence.

It was nice, serene, Hinata liked how Kageyama gave him space to breathe before he took it all away with a look.

“I should get home before it gets too late,” Kageyama said and Hinata blinked, looking at the sky to see it bleeding into dark maroon and navy.

He turned to Kageyama, he had ketchup on the corner of his lips and Hinata licked his thumb before wiping it away. He paused after the streak was gone, his lips forming an ‘O.’

“S-sorry um. You had...ketchup,” Hinata excused and Kageyama leaned away after a stiff 5 seconds of eye contact.

He was blushing under the darkening sky and he wiped his mouth again.

“Thanks I guess.”

Hinata cleared his throat, “um, I need to go to the bathroom, do you know any near restrooms?”

Kageyama stood up and stretched out his arms, “there was one next to the stadium, come on.”

Kageyama waited outside and Hinata washed his hands, staring at the crooked mirrors stained with graffiti. He grimaced at his reflection, at the strange ways his hair stood up, some parts slick with sweat and other parts dry and stubborn. He dried his hands before running his ringers through his hair. It looked worse now, he thought, it was weirdly slicked back, damp yet dry.

Whatever, he neared the door before flinching at the commotion outside. He peered out the corner, watching a guy- one of the guys that sat near Kageyama in the cafeteria- loom over Kageyama, or try to at least. Kageyama’s face remained unchanged, hands resting in his pockets as the guy tried to evoke a reaction from him, evoke a fight of sorts.

Hinata breathed heavily, his fingers flexing out of instincts. He knew he should stay out of it, it was none of his business, Kageyama didn’t care enough to fight back, he shouldn’t care to interrupt.

But the guy- the idiot guy- pushed at Kageyama’s shoulders, revelling in the way Kageyama fell back slightly. Without thinking, without processing, Hinata stormed forward, fists shaking. He ran in front of Kageyama and held his arms out, as a human barrier.

“Hey! You shouldn’t go around picking fights-”

“What the fuck are you doing Shouyou? _Move!”_ Kageyama yelled eyes wide.

“I- I’m saving you ‘cause you’re stupid and getting into fights!” Hinata yelled back.

“Seriously, move dumbas-”

“No-”

Hinata bit back the last syllable, the air rushing out of his lungs as a fist rammed through his cheek. He stumbled to the side, his legs faltering and his cheeks burning bright red from shock.

His eyes fell shut, the sides of his face swelling. He could hear grunt, muffled screams and a wheeze.

_“Don’t fucking touch him.”_

It was Kageyama’s voice and Hinata opened his eyes, watching Kageyama tower over a crumpled figure, glaring holes into his face. Hinata had to look away, Kageyama’s glare was too intense, too much.

There was silence and finally a harsh shuffle as Kageyama raced to Hinata’s side, fingers tentatively touching Hinata’s cheek.

“I told you to fucking move, you stupid idiot, why the fuck did you have to get involved?”

Hinata opened his eyes, watching Kageyama bite his bottom lip out of concern.

“Aw, are you worried?” Hinata teased and Kageyama pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Idiot. _Idiot.”_

Hinata tried laughing only to grimace in pain. Kageyama asked if he could stand up and after broken breaths and trembling knees, Hinata stood up with Kageyama gripping onto his shoulder.

Kageyama dragged him away, closer to the last strips of light from the dying sunset. He lightly gripped both sides of Hinata’s face and turned it slowly, surveying the bruise closely. He clicked his tongue against his teeth.

“I’m taking you to my house, I need to treat your idiot face.”

Hinata’s heart seized along with his cheeks- Kageyama’s house? It felt surreal, hearing those words but he nodded quickly.

They hurried to the parking lot outside the stadium, to the lone moped parked dangerously. Kageyama dragged him closer and Hinata stopped to stare.

“Of course you drive a motorbike,” Hinata laughed, “ _of_ _course_.”

“I don’t know what that means but it’s a moped, stupid.”

Kageyama revved the engines before contemplating if Hinata should sit in the front or back. He sighed and pulled Hinata to the front where his back laid plush against Kageyama’s chest. Hinata blushed under the development of his bruise but he leaned back, watching Kageyama’s arms stretch forward to grip at the handles.

He could hear Kageyama’s heart from the angle, the quiet _ba-bump, ba-bump_ until it was racing suddenly. To that he turned around to see Kageyama already staring.

“Your heart just started racing, what the hell were you thinking about?”

Kageyama didn’t answer, he only revved the engine again and backed away into the quiet road.

Hinata’s heart was beating just as fast as Kageyama’s. Maybe it was from the thrill of flying through the roads in the evening as the rolling clouds closed onto the withering sun, or maybe it was from the intimacy between their touch, the lack of shame between their proximity.

Kageyama’s house was nice- neat and minimalist. It was really fitting.

He sat down in the couch, after mumbling _pardon for the intrusion_  out of habit.

Kageyama snorted from the kitchen, “there’s no one home.”

He threw Hinata an ice pack and Hinata slapped it to his face, with too much force because he was nervous, anxious fuck- he was in Kageyama’s _house_.

Kageyama sighed after a while, “the first aid kit and stuff is all upstairs so...just come to my room.”

“Your room?”

“Yes.”

Hinata laughed nervously, accidentally pressing the pack harder into his face. He grimaced slightly and Kageyama raised an eyebrow, told him to hurry up as he trekked up the stairs. Hinata followed a beat too late and he chewed at his lips, trying to calm his nerves.

Kageyama’s room was dark and his window was wide, parted open. The wind bellowed against the pale blue curtains and Hinata stared, transfixed at the last few seconds of the sunset.

“Kageyama, look,” he breathed and Kageyama stared out, eyes widening at the gold streak highlighting the gloom of navy clouds.

“Pretty,” Kageyama replied, his voice just as breathy as Hinata’s. He looked over to the taller of the two, watching the way the limited light hit the tips of his face while the shadows softened his cheeks, giving him the illusion of a blush. His eyes were alive, painted with gold flecks among a sea of blue.

“Yeah,” Hinata agreed, eyes still trained on Kageyama. His gaze snapped to Hinata and it was just them, alone in time.

Hinata looked away, reminding himself they were just _friends_  and he sat on Kageyama’s bed and shuffled to recline into the pillows.

Kageyama sat on the edge of the bed and yelled at Hinata to sit up, come closer.

He tilted his face and Kageyama stared before opening up a small bottle of cream. His breathing was shallow, Hinata realised, and his blinks were unnatural. He ran the tips of his fingers along Hinata’s bruise, flinching as Hinata flinched before he told him to be quiet.

“I’m not talking,” Hinata mumbled, still staring at Kageyama.

“Stop staring,” Kageyama added more cream and Hinata quickly averted his eyes. Kageyama paused, as if he regretted his words but he shuffled through his first aid kit and brought out a bandaid that covered the majority of Hinata’s left cheek.

“Do you feel dizzy? Nauseous?” Kageyama asked quietly, his voice too low, his eyes too clear.

Hinata shook his head, forgetting how to move his tongue to form words and Kageyama clicked his tongue.

He patched him up quickly and Hinata reclined back into the pillows, resting his cheek against the ice.

Kageyama stayed quiet, staring at his window, eyes flickering, thoughts muddled.

“Why the fuck would you even do that?” He demanded and Hinata slowly flicked his eyes to meet Kageyama’s cheek.

“Huh?”

“I could’ve- obviously I didn’t need saving! Why did you do something so...so…”

“Heroic?” Hinata offered, “amazing? Courageous? Brave?”

Kageyama grumbled, turning his eyes to finally meet Hinata’s.

“Stupid.”

“Stupidly heroic, you mean.”

Kageyama seized up, to lash out but instead he laughed, ducking his head to chuckle quietly.

Hinata chuckled with him, eyes slightly wide in surprise. Kageyama calmed down after a while and his fingers prodded at the bedsheets. His fingers bunched up the fabric underneath it and he sighed.

“Why do you like me so much?”

Hinata tensed up.

He sat up straighter, heart panging painfully against his ribs and his bruise aching. His mouth refused to work and his throat clogged up.

“Hu-huh? I- I- I don’t-”

“I’m not stupid,” Kageyama interrupted, “I know you like me. Everyone knows you like me, you’re not fucking subtle.”

“I’m not?!” Hinata exclaimed before blushing almost purple. He thought back, reminiscing all his little stares, all his compliments, all his blushes.

Kageyama snorted, “so?”

Hinata inhaled shakily.

“You only like me because I’m hot, right?” Kageyama said, more as a statement than a question. He tilted his head and Hinata glared at him, offended.

“If you go along making statements like that, then you don’t know me at all,” Hinata said, setting his lips in a pout and Kageyama flinched back, surprised.

Hinata sighed out, laughing. He stared out the window again, their friendship wouldn’t bode well after this, he was sure.

He sunk into the pillows and stared at the ceiling, to avoid further eye contact. He hadn’t imagined his first confession to go like this, under the dying sunset with his hair too messy to be spontaneously cute and a swollen bruise on his cheek.

Whatever, it is what it is.

“I...I was attracted to you. Sure. I thought you were the prettiest person ever but you had...you had the worst personality and I hated how you talked to me and I promised myself that I would never date someone as horrible as you, ok? Because finding someone hot wasn’t the same as wanting to date them,” Hinata paused to breathe, to piece together his thoughts, “but then...but then you became alright. You became so nice. To me, at least, and then I started really liking the small parts of your personality. Then I knew I was fucked.”

Silence and then more silence.

Hinata didn’t dare to breathe.

The wind was loud, hollering at the glass pane, trying to break the tension.

“What small parts?”

Hinata finally looked at him. He didn’t feel nervous anymore, didn’t feel the need to clench his jaw and fists. It was like he was running, soaring through the wind, through the tracks.

“I like how you’re so shy with compliments and how easy it is to make you blush. I like how you duck your head when you smile or laugh. I like how you say you don’t care but you- you’re the only one who stays back to fix my leg. I like how you say you wanna understand me, even though you have no reason to.”

Hinata exhaled slowly, feeling a strange weight lift off his shoulders and stomach.

Kageyama looked surprised, looked shocked- looked confused. His eyebrows tilted down, almost hesitantly.

“You...piss me off.”

Hinata stared and stared before he snapped up, leaving the ice pack to melt against the sheets. He frowned, even though his head hurt and his lips quivered in quiet rage.

“What’s wrong with you?! I pour out my heart and all you can say is- is-”

The movement was slow, spacious and Hinata had too much time to move away. Kageyama’s lips were on his, moving softly despite his harsh breaths, as if he was trying to will away his nerves.

Hinata blinked rapidly and he gasped in confusion, in shock. His eyes fluttered closed and Kageyama moved in closer, tilted his head lower to catch Hinata’s lips from a better angle.

Hinata moved a hand up, to touch Kageyama’s jaw but he hesitated, his hand hovered. It felt surreal- what if he touched Kageyama and he disappeared? Or moved away-

Kageyama closed his hand around Hinata’s moved it to his jaw and Hinata kissed with renewed energy, with a clearer mind.

Kageyama’s fists clenched around the sheets, shaking slightly and Hinata ran his fingers against Kageyama’s nape, trying to hold him closer because this was real, this was fucking real-

He grabbed at Kageyama’s hair and he nestled in closer, breathing harshly and kissing Kageyama harder. Kageyama groaned against his lips and Hinata’s lips parted, falling under the gasp and Kageyama took advantage, running his tongue along the seams of Hinata’s mouth until he was gasping again and again, grasping Kageyama’s hair tighter and tighter.

He pulled away when a sharp pang pinched his bruise and Kageyama followed his lips, eyes glazed.

“Ow,” Hinata whispered, his own eyes hazy.

Kageyama hummed in response, his voice raspy with need and Hinata shivered. He bit his bottom lip before he broke into a smile.

“Why did you kiss me?”

Kageyama averted his eyes. He was still leaning into Hinata’s space but he made no move to leave, to sit back.

“You’re seriously an idiot,” Kageyama grumbled and Hinata’s eyes trailed down to rest along Kageyama’s lips. He reached a hand out, fingertips ghosting over Kageyama’s jaw.

“I thought you were straight,” Hinata murmured, eyes still stuck to Kageyama’s lips.

“Thought that too. But then you started showing up everywhere.”

Hinata laughed, tongue sticking out slightly.

“When? When did you start liking me?”

Kageyama stayed quiet, as if he didn’t want to answer.

“Don’t know. Think maybe I started liking you a bit before we kissed at that party.”

“Huh? That long ago? Why didn’t you say anything?” Hinata asked, eyes snapping up.

“Because I was in denial idiot, I was trying to convince myself I didn’t like you.”

They both lapsed into silence as Hinata processed.

“I realised, just now, when you were telling me the things you liked about me, that I don’t care about being straight or not. Realised I wanted to kiss you.”

Hinata smiled, grinned- it was too bright for the dark room.

They should turn on the lights, close the curtains, it was night.

“Do you still want to kiss me?” Hinata asked and Kageyama breathed out a laugh.

“Yeah.”

Hinata closed the short gap, his lips pliant against Kageyama’s slow movements, against his slow touch. His hand laid hot against Kageyama’s cheek and his stomach coiled, in butterflies that would probably never go away.

His cheek buzzed with pain and Kageyama leaned back, smirking when Hinata followed his lips.

“I’ll kiss you properly when your bruise is gone,” Kageyama promised and Hinata pouted before his lips broke into a grin.

Hinata didn’t tell a soul when he trudged home, still grinning ear to ear. He collapsed on his bed and flung his shoes off. He rolled to the side, trying to control the smile, his jaw was beginning to hurt.

He was in a daze all through dinner, all through his shower, all through the night.

Natsu was concerned, prodding at his shoulder during dinner until his mother slapped her hand away.

“What happened Shouyou?” his mother asked and he kept staring at his plate, replying the kiss over and over, “did you get a girlfriend?”

Hinata’s head snapped up, a blush bleeding into his only good cheek and his mother grimaced slightly.

Hinata found Kageyama sitting by the stairwell in front of the school his head down as he concentrated on his phone. Hinata grinned and plopped down next to him, his shoulder and sides flushed against Kageyama’s.

Kageyama didn’t look up, instead he moved away to the side and Hinata followed. Kageyama clicked his tongue and looked at Hinata, glaring before his look softened to surprise.

“Hey,” Hinata said softly, holding his cheek up with his palm. He winced, remembering his yellow bruise before he let his hand fall over his knees.

Kageyama studied his face, letting an earphone fall from his ear.

“Hi. How’s your face?”

Hinata giggled, for no reason really, “better now that you’re here.”

Kageyama smacked him upside the head and Hinata yowled, surprised.

“Oi! You can’t do that anymore!”

“Why not?” Kageyama growled, cheeks red.

“Because,” Hinata said, “I’m injured already.” He winked, sticking out his tongue, “and we’re dating now.”

Kageyama quickly looked back to his phone, ducking his head to hide his reddening cheeks.

“You don’t get special treatment.”

“Yes I do.”

“No you-”

“You do. You get special treatment,” Hinata countered, waiting for Kageyama’s eyes to meet his.

They didn’t but Kageyama sighed, almost carefully, “what kind of treatment?”

“Well, you’ll get hugs. And kisses. And I’ll buy you stuff and I’ll take you out on dates.”

Kageyama looked at him, surprised by the sincerity. He coughed into his fist, trying to clear his throat.

“Dumbass.”

“What?” Hinata snapped, “you asked!”

“That’s too much. You don’t need to do all that.”

Hinata rolled his eyes, “obviously I don’t need to but I want to. So get ready!”

“Now?” Kageyama asked, a little frazzled and Hinata laughed.

“No stupid, later, we’re in school.”

Kageyama nodded slowly before burying his hands into his hands. It was cute and Hinata felt a pang shoot up his heart.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. You’re just...pissing me off,” Kageyama sighed before getting up He looked away but Hinata could make out a wobbly smile playing on his lips.

“Are you calling me cute again?” Hinata asked and Kageyama spluttered.

“What? No?”

“Why so defensive?” Hinata teased and Kageyama choked on his words, “don’t cute things piss you off?”

Kageyama didn’t answer, he walked off through the school doors, his nape as red as his ears. He glanced back to see Hinata still staring at him, grinning.

Hinata was probably overbearing the first week, clinging onto Kageyama when class was dismissed, walking too close, staring too much, smiling too much.

“Are you guys dating for real?” Ilya asked and Hinata grinned, hand pressed against the cool metal of his locker.

“We-” Kageyama grabbed Hinata’s hair and pulled his head back, out of nowhere. Hinata complained loudly, whining aggressively as his head was tilted back. Kageyama stared down at hi, upside down and angry.

“What do you want? I’m gonna go bald- let go already!” Hinata yelled, swatting at Kageyama. Kageyama let go before glaring at Ilya who shrunk into his own locker.

“We’re not fucking dating, idiot, he just won’t quit bothering me,” Kageyama answered, glaring hard enough for Ilya to nod quickly and run into the crowds, despite his locker being wide open.

Hinata turned around to face Kageyama, confused and fucking livid.

“What? What the fuck?” Hinata growled, brows pointing down before his mind crashed down from its dopamine rush. Maybe he was being delusional for a whole week? Was it all just a joke? A casual confession that held no meaning? A casual kiss that was motivated from boredom-?

“Oi, stop overthinking it- we need to talk,” Kageyama huffed and grabbed Hinata’s forearm. Hinata’s heart beat against his throat- was this the break up? Were they breaking up? His first ever relationship had lasted one whole week- that’s _pathetic_. Maybe he had gone too far, maybe he was too clingy, too eager, too much to handle-

Kageyama brought him outside, where the grass was deserted. He looked around, trying to spot lurking students before he turned to Hinata.

He jerked back at Hinata’s crushed expression, the eyes staring up despite the dry tears welling up, the quiver of his lips from the weight of future heartbreak.

“O- oi don’t look at me like that, calm down, calm-” Kageyama broke off his sentence to wrap Hinata in his arms, into a hug that smelled like fresh rain and sea breeze.

“Don’t cry stupid-”

“I’m not crying,” Hinata answered and he breathed sharply, “my face hurts.”

Kageyama let go but he kept his hands on Hinata’s shoulders, to look at him. He hadn’t cried, but he looked deeply distressed.

Hinata looked up at Kageyama, to see his eyes softening to look sad. He looked away, as if he couldn’t bear to look at Hinata upset.

“Why are so- so...what do you look like that?” Kageyama asked.

“Wh- ‘cause we’re breaking up, right?”

Kageyama stared at him before he rolled his eyes. He tugged Hinata into another hug, more tight than the last, “you’re such a fucking moron.”

“Ow, ow, ow- Tobio, my _face_.”

“You deserve the pain for being so dumb.”

“Hey! That’s mean!”

Kageyama pulled off before dragging Hinata down to the grass, so they could talk comfortably.

“I’m not breaking up with you, moron, why would you think that?”

“Because you sounded so serious!” Hinata yelled. He pulled his hair down flat against his forehead, _“we need to talk,”_ he growled, frowning and Kageyama kicked his chest.

“I don’t sound like that!”

“You do!”

“No- anyways, yes we do need to talk but I’m not breaking up with you, so calm the fuck down.”

Hinata still chewed at his bottom lip.

“Ok, what’s up?” Hinata asked.

“I don’t want people to know. That we’re...together,” Kageyama said and Hinata raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, why?”

“Because it’s not their business and I don’t want stupid rumours to spread and be the talk of the town. It’s peaceful how it is now.”

“Oh!” Hinata said, “that makes sense.”

“Have you told anyone?”

“Nope,” Hinata shook his head and Kageyama raised an eyebrow.

“Really? You managed to keep your mouth shut this far?”

“Oh shut up, I was too excited to say anything. My mum thinks I have a girlfriend though.”

Kageyama nodded and Hinata stretched out his legs.

“I’ll stop being so clingy and weird at school. It’ll be hard since I like you so much but I don’t wanna cause trouble,” Hinata said, sincerely. Kageyama swore under his breath and he looked around the premise.

Class had already started and they were sitting somewhere out of bounds, anyways. No student lingered and no teacher roamed. Kageyama tackled Hinata to the ground, brushing his lips softly against Hinata’s.

“Why the fuck do you have to say stuff like that?” Kageyama snapped, lifting his head away.

“Wh-” Kageyama kissed Hinata’s words away, locking lips gently and Hinata’s mouth fell open. Kageyama leaned back, just as Hinata began kissing back, relishing in the way Hinata followed his mouth.

“Does it piss you off?” He teased, grinning and Kageyama grabbed at his cheek, watching Hinata yowl quietly in pain. Kageyama quickly jerked away and he turned to the opposite direction, pouting.

“You’re...kinda cute Shouyou,” he grumbled, almost angrily and Hinata punched his shoulder.

“Kinda?! Don’t half ass your compliments, stupid,” Hinata complained and Kageyama glared at him.

“You’re lucky I’m saying it at all,” and to that, Hinata smiled. 

“You say you wanna be subtle and not be too touchy in public but here you are, kissing me out in school, the most public of public places!” Hinata laughed and Kageyama’s neck burned red.

“There’s no one here,” Kageyama snapped and Hinata laughed harder.

“That means I can kiss you too, huh?” he tilted his head and Kageyama didn’t answer. Hinata crawled forward and pressed a quick cheek against Kageyama’s cheek.

Kageyama blushed bright and Hinata chuckled.

“You’re cute too, Tobio.”

The rest of the week passed quietly for others. Hinata had his back turned to Kageyama all through History and Kageyama would skip out on Chemistry, despite the protests Hinata said with his eyes. They shared looks when they saw each other by the lockers, sometimes Hinata would snort, breaking eye contact to laugh.

It was...the same as always. They sat by each other during breaks, either talking animatedly or in mutual silence.

Sometimes Hinata would bring out a smaller bento and slide it over to Kageyama with a failed wink.

“Made you lunch,” Hinata said, lying the side of his face against the top of the table to stare at Kageyama without any reservations.

“You need to work on your winks,” Kageyama said instead and he opened the bento pack, moving the chicken cutlet around.

“I can wink!” Hinata snapped, winking again, “it’s just my bruise.”

“Can’t use that excuse anymore, your face is getting better,” Kageyama peered at the box, “um, thanks.”

“You owe me now,” Hinata said sitting up. He stretched back, extended his arms out behind his head, curving backwards to pull his muscles taut.

Kageyama was quiet and Hinata looked over and followed his gaze to where Hinata’s shirt lifted to show the arch of his back, the lean muscles, the belly button half hidden in his high waisted shorts. Hinata kept stretching until Kageyama realised he had a question on the tip of his tongue.

“What do I owe you?”

Hinata glanced around before shuffling closer. He beckoned Kageyama closer and he ducked down so Hinata could whisper into his ear.

“Kisses.”

Kageyama blushed red and jerked back. He kicked Hinata away while blushing cherry. Hinata laughed and Kageyama called him an idiot, dumbass, moron-

Moments like that were nice. Kageyama blushed a lot, stared a lot. But others stared as well, and Hinata was once again caught between the clutches of jealousy and appreciation.

The girls stared a lot, Tania too, and they would almost sigh in unison with like-minded thoughts.

“Tobio’s fucking hot,” Juno said, and Hinata agreed mentally, “I wanna ask him out,” and Hinata snapped his gaze at her.

“Huh,” he gasped and Juno turned to stare at him.

"What? You think I won’t?”

“I don’t know,” Hinata answered and Juno frowned. She never did do anything about her confession and the girls continued to stare, out of bounds.

Kageyama wouldn’t ever do anything about it. Hinata would tell him sometimes and the taller of the two would wave it away, say whatever, let them talk.

So Hinata shrugged, let it be, let it go.

In Chemistry, Mrs Jone refused to pair the two together, even though Hinata tried to subtly request it.

Kageyama would pair with some other girls with an eye roll and Hinata would lean over the counter to pinch his cheek as hard as he could.

“Ow! What the fuck?!” Kageyama snapped, slapping Hinata’s hand away. The girl- Juno flinched back slightly.

“You be nice to your partner ok? And actually do the work,” Hinata ordered, pointing a finger at Kageyama’s nose, “and I’m sorry in advance,” he said, looking at Juno who nodded, out of instinct.

Kageyama grabbed Hinata’s finger, pulling it sideways until the joint hurt and Hinata was yowling in pain.

“What do you get out of saying obvious shit?” Kageyama rolled his eyes, letting go and Hinata held his injured finger close to his chest, clenching his teeth in pain.

“That really hurt!”

“You deserve it,” Kageyama replied and Hinata scowled before pointedly looking away. Kageyama didn’t argue.

But behind Hinata, he worked quietly with Juno, asking for her insights when she stayed humble about her opinions. Hinata snuck a few glances behind, watching Kageyama actually help rather than pretend to fill out the worksheets.

Hinata grinned until Ellie snapped at him for spacing out.

Chemistry classes bled in and bled out with Kageyama offering support after Hinata’s aggressive reminders to care and word got around, _Tobio Kageyama is kinda approachable, isn’t he?_

Hinata’s History class liked to hold debates sometimes. They were unrelated to History most times, but they were good exercises, the teacher had reasoned, for students to question what needs to be questioned. The class was separated in halves and Kageyama never joined.

Hinata was always eager- he loved debates, even though he had no valid points to share, he was still passionate.

“Tobio, you can sit in the back, if you don’t want to join,” their teacher said and Kageyama stayed standing by the door. He shrugged after a slow blink.

“I wanna join,” and the class stilled. Hinata could hear the wind blowing, the other class talking through walls, the sound of Kageyama’s nails against his desk.

Some guys punched his shoulder, welcoming him and the girls sat up straighter, eyes wide.

“Tobio, you can sit next to me!” Juno said, patting the seat next to her and the class quietened again, waiting for him to roll his eyes and sit further away, maybe in the back again.

He set his pencil case next to hers and sat down quietly.

Hinata stared from across the room, leaning his cheek into his hand as he grinned, proud at the limited bouts of socialisation Kageyama was allowing.

He frowned at Juno, who was red all over and trembling with shock. The class erupted quickly and the discussions began.

It was a simple topic: does technology make us more alone?

Kageyama stayed quiet during the first half of the debate. He reclined in his seat, listening to others argue their cause against it until Hinata would stand up at random, despite interruption being against the rules.

When Hinata’s turn would come, he would forget, fumble a bit but continue nonetheless.

“You’re wrong,” Kageyama said after a beat of silence as Hinata paused to catch his breath.

“I- what?”

“You say you use technology as a medium to connect with people when they are out of reach, then why doesn’t long distance relationships ever work?”

Hinata faltered and their teacher smiled at Kageyama.

“Because! Because they’re not doing it right!” Hinata yelled and Kageyama pushed his chair back to stand up.

“What do you mean they’re not doing it right? What do you know?”

“I know more than you stupid-”

“Language-” Their teacher interrupted.

“Most of my friendships are long distance, because everyone’s in Japan but I still try to talk to them as often as I can and they try to talk to me as often as they can,” Hinata explained.

“But it’s not the same is it?” Kageyama countered.

“Regardless, without technology I wouldn’t even be able to talk to them.”

“That’s not the point, dumbass, the point it, if you didn’t have any friends in America, you’d have to depend on your friends from Japan.”

“Yeah, and-?”

“And wouldn’t you feel lonely, knowing they’re continuing life without you?”

The class fell quiet. Some whispered among themselves, some occupied themselves with other things, not as interested in the debate as those sitting up front.

“It’d be selfish of me to feel lonely.”

“But you’d still feel lonely.”

Ellie hissed at Hinata to stay strong, _fight for your side._

“No, I wouldn’t,” Hinata answered, “cause I still have an opportunity to talk to them. Maybe it won’t feel the same as real life but the main element is the communication, right? It just means we’ll value our time more.”

“Is that enough?”

The debate remained unsolved between them as their teacher forced them to take a seat, give someone else a turn.

The guys patted Kageyama’s back, congratulating him for genuinely contributing.

“I said I wanted to join, didn’t I?” Kageyama growled, looking back at Hinata to find him smiling into his palm.

Kageyama’s side won and Hinata made a big show of his throwing his pencil case to the floor out of flustered anger. Kageyama said he was overdramatic, shut up and Hinata told him to be quiet.

“I’m really proud of you,” Hinata had said, during their break between club practice.

“Huh?”

Hinata grinned at him, “for joining and stuff. You never do that.”

Kageyama shrugged, “never had a reason to.”

“Yeah? What was your reason today?” Hinata asked, taking a sip of water.

Kageyama sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Hinata watched it fall back into place.

“Wanted to fight you. And win.”

He smugly sipped from his own bottle and Hinata gasped, affronted.

“The auda- aud- audacity-”

“Did you just learn that word?” Kageyama sneered and Hinata pushed at his head.

“You jerk! And yes I did, by the way, don’t make fun of my English- and- and- you suck.”

Kageyama snorted.

“So, does that mean you’re not gonna join next time? Since you beat me, I guess.”

“I didn’t win yet. My team beat your team but I didn’t beat you,” Kageyama said. He shifted to stand up, “I _will_  have the finishing word next time.”

Hinata grinned, watching him leave, “keep dreaming, stupid!”

It was great, amazing, Kageyama was learning to join in, to soften his words in public.

Hinata’s face had healed and Kageyama kept to his promise. They rode to Kageyama’s house, waiting for unfulfilled promises of kisses to be filled.

Kageyama closed his door and without warning, Hinata tackled his back, looping his arms around Kageyama in a tight hug. It wasn’t a normal hug, a hug for comfort- no, it was a hug packed with feelings, with trembles and quivering lips.

“What’s wrong?” Kageyama asked and Hinata shook his head against his nape. He stood on the tips of his toes to press a kiss against the back of his neck.

“Nothing, I’m just really proud of you,” Hinata laughed and Kageyama stilled, his hand resting on the door knob.

Hinata blinked up at Kageyama, confused by the lapse of silence.

“Tobio-?”

Kageyama spun around and grabbed Hinata by the face before mushing their lips together into a messy kiss. It took awhile for Kageyama to calm down but when he did, his movements slowed. He caught Hinata’s lips again, his thumbs sinking into Hinata’s cheeks- he could do that now with the absence of Hinata’s bruise.

Hinata looped his arms around Kageyama’s neck to pull him closer and Kageyama’s hands drifted down to Hinata’s waist, wrapping him closer.

Hinata pulled off to breathe and Kageyama huffed out a laugh.

“You know you don’t have to hold in your breath right?” Kageyama said, and Hinata leaned in closer.

“What- really? But my mouth-”

“Use your fucking nose like a normal human being,” Kageyama said, voice snappish but eyes soft.

“Then that means we can kiss for as long as we want,” Hinata pointed out.

“I mean-”

“I’m gonna kiss you for three hours,” Hinata said before pushing Kageyama around and into the bed. He clambered on top, eyes shining.

“No-”

“Yes.”

“Shouyou, no-” But Hinata was smothering Kageyama’s mouth with his own closed lips. He breathed, through his nose this time, and Kageyama tilted his head under him and ran his fingers along Hinata’s back.

He opened his mouth and Hinata gasped. He took the opportunity to suck slowly along Kageyama’s bottom lip before switching to the top.

They kissed almost endlessly but after a quiet time lapse, Hinata lifted himself away and settled onto Kageyama’s stomach. He looked down at Kageyama’s hazy, _hazy_  eyes, how they narrowed to focus on Hinata. His cheeks were flushed and his hair was fanned out around the sheets. His lips were sucked red and the colour bled around the area.

Hinata ran a thumb along Kageyama’s bottom lip, it was slick with saliva, his and Kageyama’s- mixed together.

It was probably gross but Hinata didn’t care. He leaned back into to suck on Kageyama’s cherry lips, to turn the red into scarlet.

It took him a while to realise Kageyama had gone pliant under him, his mouth open but unmoving, as if he had given up.

Hinata jerked up when he realised the stillness and he wiped his own slick mouth.

“What’s…wrong?” Hinata’s eyes widened when he realised just how much he was kissing Kageyama. Kageyama’s hand drifted back up to grab at Hinata’s shirt, to pull him back. He paused, processing that Hinata had asked him a question.

“...Nothing?” Kageyama replied.

“Am I bad at kissing?” Hinata asked, tilting his head, “was it bad?”

“Not bad. It was ok,” Kageyama said, too blunt, too honest and Hinata nodded sharply, “you have too much stamina.”

Hinata rolled off Kageyama and laid beside him. He stared at Kageyama for a while, biting his bottom lip in thought. Maybe Kageyama felt no spark, maybe he was bored already-

“Sorry,” Hinata sighed, “I just like you so much,” he excused, nudging closer to Kageyama, “I just want to kiss you all the time and this...this is the only time we have together. Alone.”

Maybe it was too straightforward, too clingy because Kageyama had stilled all over.

“U-um, I can sto-”

Kageyama gathered Hinata in his arms, hugging him into the sheets.

“Idiot.”

They didn’t rush into Kageyama’s room for two more weeks, “my parents are fucking home early,” Kageyama had said, rolling his eyes and Hinata had nodded, yeah, ok.

He wondered for a brief moment if Kageyama was making excuses. He shook the thought away- he was being ridiculous.

Kageyama joined into class discussions sometimes, peering at Hinata, watching for a bright smile. Hinata was proud, yes, he’d always be proud except the girls were beginning to really stir, beginning to step up with confidence.

Soon girls were volunteering to be his partner in Chemistry, beginning to smile at him between the hallways and grinning when he nodded back, beginning to ask him about homework as if he knew.

Hinata would tease him, “how did you get more popular?”

“I was never popular,” Kageyama snorted and Hinata stared, mouth gaping.

“Can I ask you something?” Hinata shuffled in his seat.

“What?”

“Are you _stupid?_ ”

Kageyama kicked his shin but Hinata laughed, “what do you _mean_  you’re not popular?”

“I mean what I said! Why would I be popular? No one talks to me.”

“I- you- I- you’re stupid! You’re stupid, stupid, stupid! You’re so unaware!” Hinata yelled before calling him stupid a few more times in Japanese.

“You’re stu-”

“Everyone’s always so aware of you! You’re so popular! Everyone’s always talking about you-”

“Yeah for bad reasons! They’re always talking shit-”

“No, no, no! They’re always talking about how hot you are! The girls especially.”

Kageyama stilled, his scowl smoothing to a look of shock.

“Huh?”

Hinata rolled his eyes, “the girls are always gushing about how hot you are, what you’re wearing, how good you look in what you’re wearing.”

“R-really?” Kageyama questioned. He stared at his hands, head held low to hide his blush, “I didn’t know.”

“How do you not know?”

“Because no one outright tells me shit, how the fuck am I supposed to know?” Kageyama snapped, head still low, cheeks still set ablaze.

“I-” Hinata giggled, “well now you know.”

“So...so what else do they say about me?”

“Oh just. Well everything I tell you basically, that you’re hot, gorgeous, pretty, hot, attractive, hot,” Hinata listed before staring elsewhere, trying to recollect stray compliments, “hot.”

Kageyama covered his face and Hinata grinned. The more he stared, the more his smile dropped- what truly separated him from the sea of girls who thought the same things about Kageyama? Why was he any different?

It hit him all too quickly- he really isn’t much different. He isn’t that special. Kageyama didn’t see him as the only one who deemed him pretty, now he was a speck among other identities chasing for the same thing.

He was special, he had persuaded, after all, he was the only one who liked Kageyama for his personality as well but his short high came to an end.

Was that _all_ separating him from the girls that lusted over his looks?

He tried not to think about it when he got home, how un-special he was, how completely average he was compared to all the other girls. He pondered about these fragmented ideas all night, worrying at his lips until they bled, closing eyes that refused to stay shut.

He tried forgetting about it in the morning, he wasn’t the type to be insecure, he had never really been insecure about himself and when he saw Kageyama lingering by the entrance, waiting for him, he blanked out.

Juno lingered by their table during lunch and after a few days, she intruded with a sharp hi for Kageyama and no one else.

“...Hi,” Kageyama said and he stared at his hands, blushing quietly. Juno inhaled sharply before clearing her throat.

“Um, I just...do you need help with History? I...since you’re away so often, I just...I have History notes, if you want.”

Kageyama stared at her before nodding stiffly, “yeah, thanks for offering.”

She buzzed alight, “gr- great! Do you want them now?”

“Uh, nah, I’ll come to you when we have History.”

“So fifth period? Yeah? I’ll see you then. Oh hi Shou, didn’t see you there- uh, bye!” With that she stumbled away and Hinata grumbled slightly, how could she not see him?

Hinata stared at Kageyama, at how his eyes seemed glazed over, how he had to cover his mouth to cover a smile- the same smile he always saved for Hinata only.

“Why...are you so red? Do you have a crush?” Hinata joked, grinning to hide his uncomfortable feelings.

“Huh? No, I just remembered that you told me she thinks I’m hot.”

“Oh,” Hinata crossed his arms over on the table and nestled his head atop his arms, “I think you’re hot too.”

“Yeah,” Kageyama cleared his throat, not hiding a smile. His blush from earlier drifted into pale skin and Hinata frowned.

It sucked not being the only one to make him blush as red, it sucked not being the only one to cover his smile with a hand.

Kageyama never asked why he got so quiet all of a sudden and Hinata continued to overthink it all.

Night settled in and Hinata tossed and turned. He stared at his phone and shuffled through his DMs, his fingers ghosting over Kageyama’s profile. He clicked through it once, twice but it didn’t matter, his message would still be left on read and Kageyama would still be quiet.

He tried to call Yamaguchi only for it to cut off with the sound of Yamaguchi declining. He received a message three seconds after, _sorry Shouyou, I’m outside right now! I can’t talk!_ Hinata only spammed him with a bunch of thumbs up emojis before switching to the group chat he shared with the girls.

His last message had been read and liked three days ago and thus far the chat was quiet. He didn’t feel like talking anymore so he shoved his phone to the side to shuffle again in his bed.

He thought about Kageyama, about his crystalline eyes that had all the colours of 3am, his ruby cheeks and how he would never fucking kiss back.

Hinata had gone to Kageyama’s house several times a few weeks after their initial make out session and Kageyama had laid pliant underneath him, mouth parted but motionless. His hands would tighten around Hinata’s shorts but his lips would lay dead. Hinata popped off, surveying the hazy eyes and red stained lips and suddenly, he couldn’t see lust filled eyes- only the stare of boredom and complete disinterest.

Kageyama grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him roughly, “why the fuck do you keep stopping?”

“It was bad wasn’t it? The kiss?” He asked, twiddling with his fingers out of anxiety.

“Why do you always say tha- it’s an ok kiss,” Kageyama rolled his eyes.

“Just ok?”

“Yeah.”

Hinata shuffled on his spot on Kageyama’s stomach. Kageyama beckoned him closer and Hinata tried hard, tried to kiss deeper, kiss faster, kiss any way that was more than just _ok_. Kageyama moved his head away and glared at Hinata.

“What are you trying so hard for?” He snapped and Hinata clenched his fists together, “just...relax a bit.”

Hinata tried to nod before Kageyama could lose interest.

Kageyama still left him on read.

Hinata still kissed quiet lips with too much enthusiasm.


	4. fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so long dhdj but also gets a little angsty here. also mentions of m a s t u r b a t i on but its not anything graphic, just references
> 
> also val,,, aira i hope ur happy now holy frick

“Um, can I talk to Tobio? Alone?”

Hinata stared at Juno and Juno stared back, expecting Hinata to leave immediately. He looked up at Kageyama who shrugged. They both stopped in their tracks, wind sifting through their hair.

“Fuck off for a bit,” Kageyama said and Hinata scowled.

“Why do I have to go? Why can’t both of you go?” Hinata protested, caught off guard by Kageyama’s tone.

“Because two against one, dumbass, it’s easier.”

Hinata huffed but walked in the opposite direction, straying away from Kageyama. He sent an undeserving glare at Juno who blinked back at him before he stalked away, pulling his bag to his shoulders.

Dating Kageyama was...more stressful than fun. Constantly he was plagued with thoughts that shouldn’t be there. He’d ponder about his legitimacy- was he being a good boyfriend? Why didn’t Kageyama give him attention? Is Kageyama bored of him already?

It made sense, his mind would roll back to his talk with Tania and Ellie, “one second he likes you and the next he doesn’t give a fuck,” and Hinata would think about this observation again, and again until sleep was lost.

He was insecure, he knew, he was being jealous and delusional but at the same time, no he wasn’t- Kageyama had always been an impulsive person, someone hard to read, hard to please, hard to maintain- it made sense for him to lose interest this quickly, this abruptly.

Hinata tried to be happy anyways, it doesn’t matter. He spent hours reaffirming his luck, he was lucky to be dating Kageyama, he was blessed-

Thoughts as dangerous as luck tripped into deprecation.

“I’m lucky I’m with him,” would turn to, “he’s out of my league."

He’d stop before he could continue because it was _stupid_ , he was being ridiculous but at the same time, no he wasn’t-

He’d fall into a loop.

Hinata invited Kageyama out, to watch a movie after sucking up his invalid feelings. Kageyama had stared elsewhere before nodding, lips still pulled into his usual frown, “sure I guess.”

He hadn’t sounded sure and Hinata shoved his shaking hands into his pockets.

“Great!”

Kageyama had sounded disinterested, tired.

_Bored._

Juno kept coming back with more excuses to talk to Kageyama and Hinata tried not to let his irritation show.

“Why do you...talk to her?” Hinata said, cringing at how possessive it sounded, how controlling and nagging he sounded. He clenched his jaw, waiting for an answer in the form of validation.

“The fuck do you mean? I can talk to whoever I want to,” and he was right, Hinata was just- he was just being annoying, right? He was just paranoid.

Juno would stare at him when Hinata would refuse to leave, glaring at him to fuck off, _I want to talk to Tobio_ \- and Hinata would look at Kageyama, unable to really do anything because _‘I can talk to whoever I want’_ and Hinata could respect that. Kageyama was right. He still stared, wondering if Kageyama would care if he just left. Inevitably he left, the table was too crowded with pink noise and laughter that didn’t belong to him.

Kageyama stayed silent, eyes concentrated on the many stories drifting around him.

Soon enough, Juno’s mere presence would make Hinata stand up, stutter out an excuse and trail away.

Tuesday was clogged with too much sun, the day was too happy for what Hinata was feeling. He tried talking to Yamaguchi about it- his feelings- without mentioning Kageyama but it was near impossible anyways.

Yamaguchi had to leave, he was busy and Hinata was left alone.

Juno settled in next to Kageyama as they walked around the oval and Hinata drifted away immediately, knowing attention is something that cannot be shared when it comes to Kageyama.

Hinata wasn’t a coward, no, he’d take on challenges even if he couldn’t, fight for what he really wanted even if the odds were against him, watch the same horror film twice just to face it head on the second time.

When it came to Kageyama, his inability to look Hinata straight in the eye, his monosyllabic responses- Hinata couldn’t help but shy away.

Kageyama turned back to stare at Hinata who shrugged with a forced grin, “I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

“Why- ok, whatever,” Kageyama rolled his eyes and Hinata pressed his lips together. He turned away, listening to Juno suggest the two sit down somewhere. Hinata huffed before pacing to the library, his strides slow and lazy. Tired yet angry.

He grumbled to himself on his way, his fingers squirming in his pockets. He stared around the area- it was rowdier than usual and by the library doors stood Samuele, his jacket holding a proud emblem of their rival school. Between his fingers he held calluses and palm cards filled with passionate scrawls.

“Y-you!” Hinata yelled, pointing straight at Samuele’s nose, “what are you doing here?!”

Others were beginning to stare and Samuele glanced around, at his peers who wore similar blazers, at Hinata’s peers who were drawn in by the noise.

“I’m...part of the debate team, we’re finishing up,” he said, pointing back at the library, at the doors that were always closed during a debate tournament.

“Oh,” Hinata said before hesitation sat between their distance. Samuele was staring, with an alien intensity. He tilted his head and Hinata felt studied, measured against something- it was a nice stare, if he thought hard about it, and nowadays he had too much time to think. He threw his bag on a nearby table and sat on the bench accompanying the lonesome table.

“We won, by the way,” Samuele added and Hinata averted his eyes, the stare was too much but he nodded anyways, out of politeness.

“Congratulations! My school will win next time.”

Samuele walked up to his table, slowly as he threw glances over his shoulder to his teammates who were busy chatting or typing on their phones. He sat over the edge of the table as Hinata brought out his half eaten bento.

“Where are your friends?”

“Huh- I-” Hinata cleared his throat, not exactly expecting a conversation, “didn’t feel like sitting with them.”

“Yeah? Why?”

“Dunno, wanted to think a bit,” Hinata shrugged, “so what was your debate about?”

Samuele grinned and told him about his team, the affirmative team for the side of a topic that didn’t need affirming. He talked about the panic, the sheer intensity of jotting down points as the other school- _your school,_ _Shouyou_ \- and his rival school's locked down victory.

“How did your team even end up winning?” Hinata asked and Samuele smirked.

“Dude, I don’t fucking know, I think we had better arguments,” Samuele answered, “you should join the team, so I could beat you again.”

Hinata stuck out his tongue before rolling his eyes, “no way, I don’t think my points make sense, I just go in and say whatever.”

“Great, then I’ll win for sure,” Samuele teased and Hinata backhanded his shoulder lightly. To that Samuele jerked back, a little surprised by their sudden proximity.

“I’d defeat you with sheer confidence,” Hinata lifted up the lid of his bento, “so you’ll get destroyed.”

“Uh-huh,” Samuele quirked up an eyebrow, “what’s that? Chinese food?”

Hinata pinned him with a stare, “what here looks Chinese?!”

“Korean? I don’t know, I thought you were Chinese.”

Hinata pouted slightly before pushing away the mushrooms that bled through the curry, “I’m Japanese, by the way.”

“Ohhh...I actually want to visit Japan one day.”

“Yeah? You should! It’s really pretty!” Hinata exclaimed, “anyways, what about you?”

“Huh.”

“Where are you from?”

“I’m American, baby,” he grinned and Hinata’s eyes widened, “my parents are from Italy, though.”

Hinata stared in awe and Samuele turned away, not used to the stare of genuine appreciation.

“A-anyways, so what are you eating?”

Hinata looked at his half eaten lunch. He poked at the rice and chicken before sighing out an answer. Samuele said it looked good, _I wanna try_  and Hinata held it out, the rice clinging to the end of his chopsticks.

“Here,” he said, the tip of the chopsticks hovering near Samuele’s mouth.

“Shouldn’t you be doing this with your girlfriend?” Samuele laughed, “or...boyfriend.”

“I- I- I don’t have! I don’t have a boyfriend!” Hinata yelled, remembering his strict pledge to secrecy, “or girlfriend!”

“So...you’re single?”

“Y- uh, yeah.”

Samuele grinned before moving in closer to wrap his lips around the end of the chopsticks. Some rice dribbled out but it didn’t matter, Samuele had his eyes locked down on Hinata and Hinata stared back, unsure what else to do-

“Shouyou, the fuck are you doing here?”

Hinata whipped around to see Kageyama stalking through the pathway, his eyebrows tilted down to show unnecessary fury. Kageyama’s eyes flitted over Samuele, the chopsticks stuffed into his cheeks and the light blush around Hinata’s cheeks.

Hinata jerked his hands away and packed up his bento quickly.

“Nothing! I was talking to my friend!”

Kageyama glared at Samuele through slitted eyes and he strode forward to place a hand atop Hinata’s shoulder.

“Let’s go Shou-”

“Oi, oi, oi, let the guy breathe a bit,” Samuele interrupted, stepping between Hinata and Kageyama’s hand, “what if he wants to stay and talk to me? Who the fuck are you to tell him what to do?”

“Me?” Kageyama growled, “I’m his fucking b-”

He snapped his mouth shut, unable to finish his sentence, his word but he kept glaring, kept looming over Samuele, “I’m his fucking friend.”

“I’m his f-”

“Hey! Let’s not fight ok?” Hinata intervened, stepping between them, “Who do you think you are picking fights, huh stupid?” Hinata berated, glaring at Tobio before grabbing his forearm to drag him away.

“Anyways, bye Samuele! Maybe we’ll meet again!” He yelled over his shoulder, waving with his free hand.

Kageyama wrenched his arm away, his eyes flickering to the students around them and Hinata stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“Where’s Juno?” Hinata asked and Kageyama shrugged.

“Went to her friends I guess,” and Shouyou deflated slightly. He had been demoted to the second option, he thought, sulking quietly in his thoughts.

Kageyama nudged his shoulder softly, “the fuck’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing!”

Kageyama stayed quiet as they walked through the hallways.

“Don’t like him,” Kageyama muttered and Hinata’s head snapped up.

“Hmm? Who?”

“The guy you were talking to. He pisses me off- and not in a cute way,” Kageyama clarified quickly and Hinata laughed lightly.

“Why don’t you like him? You haven’t even had a proper conversation with him!”

“That interaction was enough.”

Hinata thought about the sullen interaction between the two after school as he rode his way home, thoughts melding in with the ripe sun.

Kageyama had almost called him his boyfriend, right? Maybe Hinata had misheard or maybe he was delirious. It was nice to think about, so Hinata thought about it until he could hear words where there were none.

It was a simple concept: Kageyama sees him as a boyfriend- yet Hinata couldn’t help but squeal like an idiot the second he hopped of his bike and run through his doors, excited about the prospect of meaning _something_.

The moment was fleeting, night fell and Hinata settled back into his loop of dreaded thoughts, of insecurity that lead to his own inevitable hamartia.

Juno started hanging around Kageyama’s locker, acknowledging Hinata just barely before moving to peer up at Kageyama, eyes wide in awe and voice caught in a tremble. Hinata tilted his head- Juno was a lot like him, Hinata realised. She stared at Kageyama the same, she fiddled the same, sighed the same.

It was unnerving. It was strange. It reminded Hinata how far he was from Kageyama.

He felt distance between Kageyama, between himself, felt the league widening and widening until Kageyama was _just_  out of touch.

Their fingertips would brush but they wouldn’t collide.

Hinata hid his face behind the locker door, it was unfair how Kageyama had dropped his rude aura, his unapproachable persona. Maybe it was his own fault, he had convinced Kageyama to be nicer, to act more polite- consider the feelings of _others_ , _idiot_.

Somehow he himself had been excluded from the advice he gave Kageyama. That idiot was nice to everyone but Hinata, which was ridiculous, he deserved more privileges, more rights as a _boyfriend_.

Right?

Maybe he was selfish.

Maybe Kageyama was out of his league.

Maybe this wasn’t meant to be.

Kageyama had stopped inviting him over and Hinata tried not to let his feelings spill over his sleeves.

He would get angry sometimes and he’d cling to Kageyama, force himself to feel needed, feel the affection he so desperately needed to _breathe_ \- he wanted Kageyama’s attention, wanted his eyes to linger for seconds too long, to avert his eyes while red spread through his cheeks and nape. Hinata would cling with purpose and he would throw himself into Kageyama's line of vision, forcing him to look, forcing him to acknowledge. It was annoying, he _knew_ but he still felt his throat clench and his eyes sting when Kageyama pushed him away, snapping, "you're so fucking _embarrassing_ -"

Hinata would laugh it off, to hide the uncomfortable tension residing in the pits of his stomach.

But he’d try again and again, until Kageyama was genuinely angry and he would ask all too quietly: “what’s wrong with you lately?”

Kageyama would never respond.

Tania asked if he was feeling alright, _you look sad Shouyou_. Hinata had glanced back at Kageyama, wondering if he had noticed as well.

He wondered which was worse: not noticing the sudden change in Hinata’s mood or ignoring his feelings altogether.

 _Whatever_ , Hinata thought bitterly, it wasn’t important anyways.

“I’m fine!” he told Tania instead, grinning with a quiet head tilt and she smiled back.

He’ll continue to sweep all his feelings under the rug, away from Kageyama, away from any chances of breaking up.

There was another party soon and Hinata was running out of excuses to tell his mother. Ellie kept urging him to go, _another guy from another school is having it_ , _you have to come, Shou!_ she had hissed. Tania told Ellie she was a bad influence but she was the same. He had shrugged, he had studying to do anyways, exams were coming up and the two rolled their eyes.

“You seem distant, Shou,” Ellie claimed but before he could reply they moved on, talking about everything and nothing in the same breath.

Kageyama told him about it after Hinata’s track meet and after his own volleyball practice. They walked to the parking lot, loitering between breaths.

“The party,” Kageyama said, breaking the silence.

“Hmm?”

“I’m going. You should come,”

“You want me to come?” Hinata asked, surprised.

“Why the fuck would I ask you to come if I didn’t want you to? Anyways, I’ll pick you up, ok?”

“Ok,” Hinata stared up at him. His cheeks burned, his head burned and he twisted his fingers in Kageyama’s shirt, feelings things he didn’t know he could feel.

He was filled with affection, with purpose, he felt needed in such a subtle way- he couldn’t describe it, but he could feel the sunset pooling around the crevices of his ribs. He stood on the tips of his toes to press a long kiss onto Kageyama’s lips, breathing through his nose and parting his lips-

Kageyama shoved him away, and Hinata stumbled back, fell back onto his back, gravel digging into his elbows. His eyes twisted into confusion, into hurt, what the-

“We’re in public, idiot,” Kageyama growled and he sounded desperate, _angry_ and Hinata snapped away, a little angry as well. Kageyama had been snapping a lot recently, shoving away if Hinata breathed too close, yelling at him to fuck off if Hinata spent too long by his side. It was a strange spiral and Hinata hated it, dating Kageyama was too good to be true, he had realised- it didn’t feel like they were together anymore.

Maybe Kageyama was trying to push him away, maybe he had lost interest already but he was too emotionally stunted to let Hinata know, let him know that he had changed his mind.

“Fine,” he finally said, walking over to his bike and Kageyama opened his mouth, as if to say something. He closed his mouth, waiting for the party to talk.

His mother was annoyed- _you don’t have time to be going to gatherings, you should be studying, Shouyou, you-_

Kageyama waited outside the door, knocking only once before Hinata sadly opened the door.

His mother changed her mind completely when she saw Kageyama and she bustled the two out, he looked smart and Hinata nodded, _yeah, he’s tutoring me!_

Hinata slipped in front of Kageyama on his moped and they drove off, before Hinata’s mother could change her mind yet again. Hinata laughed, forgetting about everything as the street lights passed them in a blur, as the wind washed over his face, thick with air.

He peered up, to look at Kageyama who stared forward, eyes trained on the road and Hinata smiled softly, he was the luckiest bastard to even be so close to him.

With that thought he pressed back into Kageyama’s chest, the leather of the taller boy’s jacket grazed his arm and Hinata sighed in the scent of moonlight.

They stopped by the red lights, there were a few cars around and if Hinata peered, he could make out students from his school, from his grade.

“This is the first party where...I’m going with you,” Hinata said into the night air and he could feel Kageyama’s chest heaving.

“Yeah,” Kageyama’s voice lowered to fall under the noise of his engines and Hinata shivered, both at the cold nipping at his neck and Kageyama’s voice nipping at his ear.

Night rushed through Hinata’s veins as they drove but before they neared the house- the booming house that had lights flaring from the insides- Kageyama pulled Hinata to a corner, away from the house. They both got off and Hinata stretched out his arms.

“Shouyou, you shouldn’t spend your whole night with me,” Kageyama said, breaking the silence into pieces.

“Hmm? Why not? Who else-”

“It’ll...it’ll look bad, if we spend too much time together and knowing you...you’ll probably end up doing something super fucking... gay.”

“I-” Hinata stared at Kageyama in confused anger, “you never cared before! We fucking _kissed_  last time- that was so gay!”

“But- but we weren’t together back  _then_  and people think we were drunk anyways.”

“Then if I end up being too touchy with you, we’ll just tell people I was drunk.”

“It’s too suspicious, idiot, so we shouldn’t.”

Hinata huffed at the ground, his pout turning into a grimace, “then why did you ask me to come if you don’t even want to see me?”

“I never said I didn’t want to see you, moron!” Kageyama snapped, waving his hand ferociously and Hinata glared back at him, his gaze simmering down, “and it’s not like I said we shouldn’t talk or...be together at times. I just mean we shouldn’t for the _whole_ night.”

Hinata sighed- it came out shaky like his hands- “what’s the point of dating if we never get to spend time together?”

He left before Kageyama could answer, boiling in silence, trying to brush it all under his rug that had turned to a carpet to contain all his constrained emotions.

He didn’t spend the night with Kageyama- which was the whole point of coming, it was the only reason he wanted to come. He didn’t find Kageyama mingling outside or inside, not that he was looking-

Lies, he would always be looking.

Ellie asked him why he was so on edge- _you look so sad,_ _Shou_ , _lighten up,_  and he plastered on a smile.

Samuele was there, sneaking glances as he socialised. Hinata sighed and sunk into a sofa, watching the lights flash from neon purple to green, flashing to the beat of the bass and he sighed, gulping his apple juice mixed with probably alcohol, judging from the strange dull taste.

Samuele danced over to Hinata, moonwalking through the crowd and Hinata managed a grin.

“You look...not like you’re in a partying mood,” Samuele commented and Hinata shrugged, “wanna dance?”

Hinata grinned before shaking his head, “don’t feel like dancing now.”

“It’s better than sulking.”

“I’m not sulking!”

“You are.”

And he was.

He found Kageyama, sitting near and they locked eyes. He turned away moodily, abiding to what Kageyama wanted. He could still feel Kageyama’s sharp gaze, he could feel the pressure pinning onto the back of his neck.

He could hear Juno and he felt his fingers tremble as he heard her sidle next to Kageyama, sitting too close, sloshing a drink in her cup, tipping, tipping until they were flushed together.

Hinata whipped around, his mouth hanging agape. Kageyama looked flustered and when their eyes met, his gaze turned sour, turned angry, almost frustrated and Hinata scowled, what the fuck.

He tried to ignore it, they were dating after all, Kageyama wouldn’t- he wouldn’t do anything horrific like...cheat right in front of him- and he didn’t, he stayed rooted in his seat, staring at Juno as she talked, as she ran her finger tips along his arm. He didn’t do shit and that was the main problem in Hinata’s eyes.

He stayed pliant, stayed quiet, stayed still and Hinata bristled under his cup, under his skin before he stood up abruptly to cross to the other side of the room, the liquid in his cup splashing overboard from the force of his movements.

He wondered if Kageyama was watching him leave, watching his back as he dissolved into the crowd. He stared away, unable to look away from the press of Juno’s thigh against Kageyama’s.

“I was beginning to think Tobio was gay,” Ellie said as Hinata swept into the kitchen. Tania nodded and Hinata lurked by the side, not ready to make himself known.

“Yeah, yeah, right? Because he’s suddenly so close to Shou after they made out at that party,” Tania added and Ellie clicked her fingers, agreeing.

“Plus, you’ve seen the way he looks at Shou sometimes, legit no straight dude looks at his friend like that-”

“Exactly!”

Silence met them as they mutually sipped at their drinks, “but suddenly he’s with Juno.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t spend as much time with Shou anymore.”

“He’s fucking sitting with Juno right now, did you see? They’re _so_ close like- like they might start fucking right now type of close,” Ellie explained, her words slurring and Tania almost dropped her head with how hard she nodded.

“So he’s...straight.”

“Yeah.”

“Huh. Poor Shou, he’s still chasing after him, isn’t he?”

Ellie tapped her chin, “no. No, I don’t think so, he’s been really distant with Tobio, I think he probably moved on. I saw him with Samuele-”

“Who?”

Hinata slipped past the kitchen and to a nearby corner to catch his breath, steady his heart in order to calm the fuck down.

This was probably part of Kageyama’s plan- his stupid plan to seem as straight as he could, to chase away all the rumours against his sexuality that had built up because of Hinata. It was harmless, if Hinata looked at it objectively, and it was probably good for their reputation but Hinata was never good at looking at things objectively, and this stupid turn of events hurt his dignity more than anything.

Was Kageyama really that fucking ashamed? Why was he trying _so_  hard?

It hurt, it fucking _hurt_ and the the thrum of the music was making him more angry than upset, the sight of Kageyama with Juno was stirring up more bitter fury than melancholic pain- he was so fucking _tired_ of feeling sorry for himself.

Self pity had never been a good look on him anyways.

He grabbed Samuele by the front of his shirt and he dragged him to the middle of the crowd, where Kageyama could see him, where the girls could see him, where he was the centre of attention.

“Dance with me,” he _growled_  and Samuele stared at him, with wide eyes and dark cheeks.

“O-ok.”

And Hinata _danced_.

It was unrefined, it was messy, it was more motion than rhythm, more chaos than calm but Hinata didn’t care, if he wouldn’t let himself cry, he’d let the chaotic cadence control his thoughts.

The song was dangerous, _dirty_ and Hinata rolled his hips, finally finding a coarse rhythm to roll his body to. His eyes were squeezed shut but he ran his fingers through his hair, down his chest, sides and he _prayed_  everyone was watching.

He knew Kageyama was watching.

Hinata’s eyes opened into slits and he looked over his shoulder, to see Kageyama sitting upright, ignoring the mewls from Juno to stare right at him, eyes wide and pupils dilating with- with shock and maybe _lust._

Hinata licked his lips slick and rolled his hips again, showing everything Kageyama’s trading in for his reputation.

It was selfish, unfair maybe but Hinata couldn’t care, didn’t care- he wanted attention and he wanted to be stared down, with the eyes of a sinner.

His eyes flicked over to Samuele who was staring at him just like that, with eyes clouded with desire, with lips bitten into red.

“How did you learn to move like that?” Samuele breathed out and Hinata grinned up at him, lips red from bites. He trailed a hand down Samuele's chest, as a joke, as a taunt. He stared back at Kageyama, biting his pout, watching Kageyama’s gaze change to a livid shade of unfiltered _jealousy._

 _Good,_  he thought, _now you know how I fucking feel_.

He slid his hands up his own torso, cheeks blown red and lips slick with sweat. He lifted his shirt and his eyes fluttered closed again until all he could feel was his own red hands and the buzz of the beat hitting his bones in patterns.

It all ripped away fast and he blinked his eyes wide in shock as Samuele fisted the hair on the back of Hinata’s head and dragged him close, to smash their lips together.

It was messy, _ugly_ , filled with teeth clacking and too much fucking _tongue_  and Hinata hated it, he hated it, he-

Hinata pushed Samuele away, stumbling back from the mere force of the shove. He bumped into someone, into someone's chest and he looked up as he scrubbed at his lips in disgust. It was Kageyama. He stood tall, his expression holding all the synonyms for _anger_  and Hinata looked down, to see Samuele bumping back into the teenagers behind him. Samuele touched the dull ache on his chest, where Hinata shoved him and he stalked forward with shaky eyebrows, ready to enact revenge.

It happened too fast, Hinata was still processing the situation but Samuele was suddenly lying on his back, clutching his broken nose and Kageyama rubbed his bruised knuckles, his eyes twitching.

“Don’t fucking touch him,” Kageyama spat before glaring at the crowd around them, as if trying to transmit this message to everyone. He turned to Hinata who stared frazzled at both Kageyama and Samuele’s groaning body. Kageyama sneered down at him, with the most _horrifying_  of glares and Hinata felt his stomach churn with sickness, with something less than dread but more than fear.

Kageyama grabbed his wrist roughly and weaved through the groups of teenagers, his jaw set and teeth clenched. Hinata tried protesting, but he didn’t have much to say- his mind still reeling with alcohol and confusion.

Kageyama dragged him outside to the gap between the house and the fence and Hinata shivered at the cold nipping at his neck. Kageyama let go with a shove and he pushed Hinata up to the wall.

Hinata glared up after a while, his lips set in a straight line, refusing to apologise- there was nothing to apologise for, anyways, he hadn’t been in the wrong.

He sighed angrily, “listen, I didn’t know he was going to kiss me so-”

Kageyama crashed their lips together, letting his anger mingle with Hinata’s turmoil. Hinata’s mouth had been open, since Kageyama interrupted mid-sentence and Kageyama took advantage. He rolled his tongue inside and Hinata shivered at the feeling of his tongue stud grazing roughly against the roof of his mouth.

He fisted his hands around the front of Kageyama’s shirt and he tilted his head further and Kageyama grabbed his cheeks, his fingers skimming against Hinata’s jawline and neck. Kageyama sucked at Hinata’s bottom lip until it bruised and Hinata moaned, his mind blank but furious with noise.

He babbled loudly, lips forming the syllables of Kageyama’s name in slurred tones, he swore, chanted _more, Tobio_ in both English and Japanese.

Kageyama was chanting too, murmuring, "you're fucking _mine,_ " between broken gasps.

Kageyama groaned into his mouth and his lips changed trajectory, changed motives until he was kissing Hinata with more ferocity, more passion- his tongue drew out the letters of lust and Hinata moaned around the syllables.

Kageyama’s hands dropped down to Hinata’s hips and he shoved his hands under his shirt. Hinata shivered under his mouth and he let his moans melt into Kageyama’s sinful touch. Kageyama’s hands crept higher and higher and he clawed at Hinata’s back, dragging him both up and down and Hinata whimpered, his own arms wrapping around Kageyama’s head to drag him closer.

He felt Kageyama’s touch translate into spikes of desire all into his pants, into the pants that were suddenly too tight, too constricted and his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

Kageyama dragged his nails down and maybe it was painful, Hinata couldn’t tell from the adrenaline swimming through his ears but Kageyama was sucking down his jaw, to his neck- biting, bruising, God, it felt so _good_.

Kageyama parted and brushed his lips against Hinata’s as he looked down to survey Hinata’s blown out pupils, the hair slicking to his forehead. He had spit slipping down the corners of his lips and his eyes were narrowed and wet with the need for _more_.

 _“God, I wanna fuck you so bad,”_ Kageyama whispered, a growl at the edge of every word and Hinata felt his knees completely buckle and his mind fill with too many thoughts, most calling attention to how hard he was under his underwear.

It was painful under the denim of his jeans and it was so, _so_  embarrassing. Kageyama held him so he didn’t fall to the ground completely but he felt shame creep into his vision, felt embarrassment tug at his heart.

It- it wasn’t natural to get so hard after ten seconds of making out, he- he was too _easy_ , too sensitive to touch. Kageyama wasn’t hard yet, he stood there, tall, looking like sex _itself_  and Hinata was too turned on to really know what to do next.

But shame was stronger than passion in this instance and he felt the humiliation of having an _erection_ , outside in the middle of the night, next to someone who would probably laugh at him for being such a _prude_.

He felt the emotions well up, the mortification, the burnt out anger stung by jealousy, the crippling insecurity that he had bottled in for a month straight because he had no one to tell and too much to sacrifice. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he kept his head down and fuck- this was even more embarrassing, he couldn’t cry in front of Kageyama with a boner, he was so fucking _pathetic-_

So he shoved him away, his head held low and his lips trembling- he was overwhelmed, so fucking overwhelmed and he staggered out, “I- can’t,” he warbled out, voice watery.

“Shouyou, wh- what the fuck? Why…” Hinata edged away and stumbled out, he couldn’t be around Kageyama, he had to get out, he couldn't let Kageyama see him fall apart in such a pitiful way.

“Oi, dumbass, what’s wrong with you?” Kageyama barked and he grabbed Hinata’s wrist, trying to pull him back and Hinata tried wrenching his hand away but Kageyama wouldn’t let go, couldn’t let go.

“Tobio, let go, fucking let me go,” Hinata snapped, his voice on the edge of a stutter his voice a mess. He kept his head ducked and Kageyama’s grip stilled, “let me go, _please._ ”

Kageyama let go and Hinata didn’t dare look at his face, at his expression and he ran off, his boner painfully grazing denim.

“W- Shou- what did I do?!” Kageyama yelled after him when Hinata started running by the pathway, “oi, I was your ride! How do you expect to go home?!”

But Hinata didn’t care, his tears dried as he ran but the speed added to the hardness under his underwear. With every step he thought about giving up, to wait by the side and cry while jerking off or something but he wouldn’t let himself stoop so low.

He slammed the doors opening, ignoring his mother’s surprised cries before running straight up to his bedroom and locking his door. He dove into the bed and pulled the blankets over his head, shivering as he undid his fly, letting his cock spring free. He hunched over his body, trying to hide from the eyes of no one, except maybe God.

He thought about Kageyama’s breath against his neck, against his lips. He thought about the red of his lips, how messed up his hair was, how his jaw clenched tight as his eyes roved over Hinata’s dilated eyes. Jealousy looked so fucking good on him.

Hinata could feel the sting of Kageyama’s nails on his back as well as shame when he spilled over his fist.

He laid huddled under his blankets, marinating in silence. He thought about the events that occurred, laying down facts one by one until vile lined the back of his throat.

 Hinata refused to think about it more, his head feeling light in his hands. He fell asleep quickly after cleaning up his mess, his mind drawing blanks during his dreams.

He refused to face Kageyama in the morning.

He threw up in the morning, hungover but also sick from thinking too much, his mother sighed, don’t go to school, you look like a _mess_.

He protested- not going to school would be like running away but he thought about it again, fuck he didn’t know how to talk to Kageyama anymore, how to act around him, how to breathe around him.

His mother left with Natsu and again he was left alone with his thoughts. He fiddled with the ends of his nails as he nestled in bed, picking at the ends that were slightly cracked. He felt guilty, overwhelmed, angry, sad, tired, _overwhelmed_.

Maybe dating Kageyama had been a bad idea, Kageyama was too obsessed with the reputation of his sexuality to properly care for Hinata. Hinata wanted to say Kageyama didn’t care- but at the eleventh hour, Kageyama had gotten jealous. He had churned for longing, for Hinata's attention- he had wallowed enough to rip it from Hinata, kiss his aggression into Hinata with red, red fingers.

He tried not to think about it, it stressed him out too much- maybe they should break up, maybe they shouldn’t, Hinata didn’t know what to do, how to act, when to act.

It didn’t matter because as the afternoon slowed, a rapid fire of knocks cluttered the front door. Hinata jumped up from his near nap state and he ran to the front door. The knocking continued, more and more and Hinata sighed, opening the door quickly.

“Natsu, calm down-”

It wasn’t Natsu.

“No, no, no, no-” Hinata chanted, eyes freezing up as he went to close the door, he wasn’t ready yet. A foot fell between the crack and Kageyama crashed through, into Hinata’s space like he always did. Hinata stepped back, his mouth refusing to work, to speak and Kageyama closed the door behind them before he turned back to Hinata.

Hinata matched his gaze, unsure whether to be angry, whether to shy away from guilt, whether to shudder from sweet melancholy-

“Shouyou,” Kageyama breathed, reaching out a hand, to touch Hinata, to feel him but he dropped it immediately, sensing distance despite being so close, “fuck.”

Hinata averted his eyes, it felt too intimate, too tense. Kageyama stood too still, his eyes flitting over Hinata as his brain whirred. Hinata glanced at the kitchen, unsure what to do, what to say. 

"Um-"

"I want to talk," Kageyama blurted out, fast, abrupt. Hinata almost didn’t hear Kageyama over the heavy beat of his heart.

“Yeah. Um, I wanna talk too,” Hinata glanced at the clock, his mother and Natsu were due to come in an hour. Kageyama slid off his shoes before sitting on the cream sofas, awkward and tense- maybe nervous and Hinata wondered what Kageyama had to even fear.

Hinata sat down next to him, by the arm rest. There stood a sea of distance and Kageyama’s fingers clenched around the fabric, as if he wanted to drag Hinata closer.

Silence slid between them, being the barrier for feelings until Hinata breathed out shakily.

“Tobio-”

“I’m _sorry_ , I’m- fuck, Shouyou, I’m so sorr-” Kageyama’s voice broke off into a choke and Hinata snapped his gaze at him, looking at him properly this time.

He looked like mess, his eyes were drawn down, tired, he looked like he hadn’t slept, hadn’t _tried_  to sleep.

“Wh- what are you sorry for?” Hinata asked and Kageyama shuffled closer and closer but still out of touch. He gulped, clenching his hands. Hinata stared down, frowning at the obvious tremble Kageyama was trying to hide.

“For- I don’t kn- for the night, at the party, I made you super uncomfortable didn’t I? Enough to cry- I shouldn’t have...shouldn’t have forced you or- I just got so- so _jealous_ and I-”

“I didn't cry," Hinata lied, voice snapping, voice trembling. Kageyama nodded, gulping, "and- and you didn’t force me to do anything. So calm down."

Kageyama stared at him, hands still shaking, confused, “then...is it what I said? Be- I shouldn’t have said that either-”

“It’s not about what you said.”

He felt Kageyama inhale sharply and he expected screaming, something along the lines of _what the fuck did I do?!_  and he expected to yell back, out of tears, out of anger.

But Kageyama shuffled forward, and then back, “...tell me what’s wrong, why- wh- _what happened?”_

“I-” Hinata laughed humourlessly, whatever, he was done shoving everything under the rug, carpet _whatever,_ “I got overwhelmed. From everything.”

“Everything?”

“The whole month _fucking_  sucked, ok?” Hinata said and Kageyama flinched back, surprised by the curt words erupting from Hinata’s mouth, “I didn’t say anything because…”

“Because…?” Kageyama gently prodded.

“Because it doesn’t matter anyways!”

“Why doesn’t it matter?” Kageyama asked, moving in closer.

“Because! Who cares! It’s all selfish feelings anyways that- that I shouldn’t even be feeling-”

“Your feelings aren’t selfish...dumbass.”

“Yes it is, Tobio, it is,” Hinata stood up abruptly and Kageyama jerked back, “I fucking hate it when you talk to Juno, I hate how you spend more time with her than me, I hate how you don’t give me attention, I hate that you push me away, I hate that you don’t consider me, I hate how you’re so- so disgusted at people knowing we’re together- why the fuck do you care so much? What are they gonna say? I hate how you’re trying so hard to pretend we’re not dating, Tobio, I hate it!”

Hinata was breathing harshly when he finished and he gulped shakily, taking in Kageyama’s look of genuine shock, of fear.

“I hate that I can’t tell what you’re thinking, I hate not knowing if you still care about me, or if you said you liked me out of impulse- or even pity- I don’t know, I hate not knowing-”

Kageyama stood up quickly and rushed to stand in front of him, he grabbed his face gently, cupping his cheeks as if he was delicate, “of course I fucking care about you, idi- no- fuck, I like you, Shouyou, and I’m not gonna stop liking you...so fast.”

Hinata breathed through his mouth and Kageyama gulped.

“I didn’t know you were jealous,” Kageyama said, finally, after an elongated pause and Hinata wrenched away from his grasp, angry at his only explanation.

“Of course I’m jealous you idiot! I fucking want you so badly but I can’t have you at school, you don’t even want me to spend too long near you- and on top of that I have to watch Juno _flirt_  with you every fucking day while you do _nothing_  to stop her!”

Kageyama rushed forward and wrapped Hinata in a shaky hug, his lips resting atop hinata’s forehead as Hinata trembled with rage.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kageyama growled.

“I did! I asked you why you spend so much time with her and you said you can do what you want!”

“You should’ve told me what you were feeling,” Kageyama said as Hinata shoved him back to look at his face.

“So it’s my fault now, huh?”

“No- are you crying?”

Hinata sniffed, the rims of his eyes blazing red with fallen tears.

“Yeah, so? I’m sad and angry because- because you look at her the same way you used to look at me.”

Kageyama felt his own bottom lip tremble and he looked away, his heart clenching with so much affection, so much guilt.

He leaned into Hinata and their foreheads touched. He exhaled, shakily and Hinata sniffed, eyes falling shut.

“I’m...I’m always thinking about you when she talks,” Kageyama said after a while, lifting a trembling hand to lightly brush at Hinata’s cheek.

Hinata stared up at him, eyes watery and wide- disbelieving. Kageyama wiped away the tears that clung to his lashes.

“That doesn't help! Why do you have to pretend she’s me when I’m right fucking here? Why are you pushing me away?” Hinata hissed, voice breaking with watery syllables and Kageyama brushed his fingers through Hinata’s hair.

“Because,” he whispered back, voice on the verge of breaking, “I’m fucking _scared.”_

Hinata’s eyes widened and his tears almost stopped flowing, “wh- why? What? Why are you scared?”

“This is so- so _new_ to me, I’ve never really...liked someone like this before, ok? Plus- plus you’re a _guy_  which is even more...it’s just new territory. I’m scared of what everyone’s gonna think. No, I’m scared of my parents hearing it from rumours before I have the chance to tell them I’m...I’m- what the fuck are they gonna think of me when I tell them?”

He wasn’t finished and Hinata let him breathe, let his inhales even out.

“Just...scared about the future as well, what if we don’t last, what then? What happens if my parents aren’t ok with it and I still wanna be with you- I’d have to choose between you and my parents and I don’t fucking know-”

Hinata wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He stepped forward, forcing Kageyama to step back until the back of Kageyama’s knees hit the edge of the sofa. He collapsed back onto the sofa and Hinata clambered over his knees, dragging Kageyama’s head to his chest to hug him with as much affection as he could fathom.

“Was that your way of coping with stress?” Hinata asked softly, “pushing me away? Self sabotage?”

Hinata felt his chest shift as Kageyama nodded slowly, with shame.

Hinata managed a quivering smile, “...but- but Juno? I don't get it. Why do you even need to put up with her I-?”

“I don’t fucking know- I- I got _paranoid,_ like...like I thought it’d be the end of the fucking world if anyone found out about _us_. She...I wanted to use her as a beard, to cover up if we ever got caught, you know? To get rid of everyone suspicious.”

Kageyama snorted, “fuck, I was on some dumb shit. Shouldn’t have done that, shouldn’t have tried, fuck I’m so sorry, I hurt you while I was fucking up my own life-”

“Hey, hey, don’t talk like that,” Hinata said, grabbing Kageyama’s face and squishing his cheeks, “we should’ve talked about this before instead of- of...hurting ourselves."

Kageyama hummed in agreement, “let’s talk about it now. Properly.”

“Yeah,” Hinata smiled and Kageyama’s hands laid loosely around Hinata’s hips.

“Do you still care what others think?” Hinata asked, “you never cared before…”

“I wasn’t in a relationship with a guy before,” Kageyama pointed out, “and I...yeah. Partly, I guess. I don’t want my parents to find out...m’not ready for that.”

Hinata nodded in understanding.

Kageyama pressed a kiss onto Hinata’s shoulder and his lips stayed there, resting.

“We can still keep quiet about it, I don’t care,” Hinata said, “just don’t...push me away and ignore me. I don’t want to be treated like a stranger.”

Kageyama nodded, his head rolling against Hinata’s shoulder.

“I'm so sorry I-”

Hinata sighed, "it's...it's fine, ok?"

Kageyama kissed over Hinata's shoulders, peppering his neck and chest with flyaway pecks. Hinata snorted.

"It's not like it was all your fault, I should've been more...more open? Yeah. Should've said something."

Kageyama's lips paused over Hinata's shoulder.

"You're too fucking nice, Shouyou," Kageyama groaned, "God, I literally don't deserve you."

Hinata grabbed Kageyama's face, glaring down at him, "don't say stuff like that!"

Kageyama's startled face softened and he shifted his face to the side, lining the edge of his lips against Hinata's shaking palm. Hinata's grip softened and Kageyama wrapped his fingers around his wrists.

His stare softened, cheeks flushed with emotion and Hinata smiled. _This_ , this is what he had been lusting over; soft blue eyes and cherry cheeks. 

“I missed you,” Kageyama said, voice too soft, too quiet. Those three syllables were only for Hinata to hear and he listened, soaking up the letters.

“I missed you too,” Hinata whispered and he ducked his head down, to catch Kageyama’s lips in a slow kiss. It was soft and Kageyama tasted like home.

“I’m not gonna let you push me away ever again,” he promised and Kageyama’s eyes widened in surprise, “m’gonna annoy you when you start being dumb and self depre- deprecat- d- what is that word? Anyways, I’ll annoy you until you have no choice but to confront me.”

Kageyama ducked his head down to smile and Hinata hooked a finger around his chin to tilt his head up, to see his wobbly smile.

“Obviously, it’s my job to hit you when you start getting...distant.”

“Hey, it’s not your job to _hit_  me,” Hinata pouted.

“Yes it is. It’s my job as your b...b.”   

Hinata’s lips stretched into a slow grin, “as my what?”

“Boy...friend. Boyfriend.”

It was the first time Kageyama had said such a word out loud and Hinata mouthed it to himself, relishing in the silent letters, in the meaning it held. He buried his red, red face in the crook of Kageyama’s neck, hiding his shaky smile and crimson rimmed eyes.

“It’s your job as- as my boyfriend to give me lots and lots of attention. And kiss me a lot, hug me a lot and give me privileges!” Hinata beamed, lifting his head up.

“Yeah? What kind of privileges?”

Hinata tapped his chin in thought, “three things, I get to wear your varsity jacket and you never call me dumbass, idiot, stupid ever again.”

“Ok,” Kageyama agreed, “moron.”

“Oi!”

“It wasn’t on the list, dumbass.”

“Dumbass was!”

“I don’t care. What’s three?”

Hinata’s voice dropped down to a whisper and he leaned in closer, “you have to be mine and mine only.”

“Only if you’re mine in return.”

“That goes without saying, obviously.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

 _“Good,”_ Kageyama challenged and Hinata scowled.

 _“Good,”_ he yelled back before diving in to kiss Kageyama again and again because he fucking missed this. It ended soft and slow and Kageyama sighed into his mouth. Hinata jerked away, feeling his lips throb.

His lips had been dry all day, from the excessive and violent kiss he shared last night. His lips almost peeling and his bottom lip was bruised lightly.

“My mouth hurts,” Hinata excused before lightly touching his bruised lips.

“...Sorry,” Kageyama looked elsewhere, eyebrows crumbling in guilt and Hinata scoffed. He slapped Kageyama’s shoulder as hard as he could, yelling idiot in both English and Japanese.

Kageyama stared, affronted before he slapped Hinata on the shoulder in return, hard enough to send Hinata toppling off his lap. Hinata grabbed at his shoulders at the last second and heaved himself up before they were wrestling, fueled with no intention, driven by impulse.

They ended on the floor, wedged between the coffee table and sofa.

“Tobio, sometimes you’re...unreadable and I don’t- I don’t get your intentions. So you should tell me what you’re feeling, so I can understand you.”

Kageyama nodded, his eyes soft around the edges.

“I’m feeling hungry.”

Hinata snorted, laughing into his shoulder.

He stared up at the clock and he squinted, trying to read the upside down digits.

They breathed in sync, their silence embraced with mutuality. Hinata look down at Kageyama, eyes lining the slope of his neck.

"Tobio."

Kageyama hummed, looking at Hinata.

"Are you...bored?"

Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows, "of what?"

"Me."

Kageyama huffed, his eyebrows tilting both in and out- confusion and genuine shock painting his features. He opened and closed his mouth, starting sentences before rethinking.

"I- you- f- _what?!"_ Kageyama screeched, sitting upright. Hinata fell back and he sat upright too, his back lining against the edge of the coffee table.

"I just th-"

"Shouyou, _what?!_ What? How did you- what? Did you hit your head? How did you? How do you even think shit like that?" 

"I don't know! You look bored all the time!"

"That's my fucking face, idiot!" Kageyama yelled, "and why would I still be here if I was bored?"

"I don't know! Pity?"

Kageyama pinched the bridge of his nose, "I have never pitied you in my life, why would I start now?"

"You pitied me when I messed up my leg-"

"That's different," Kageyama snapped. He inhaled sharply and moved to sit on the edge of the sofa. He held out a hand and Hinata stared, eyebrow raised. He slid his hand in and Kageyama pulled him forward. Hinata sat kneeled on the floor, the upper half of his body leaning against Kageyama's knees and lap.

"You're literally the most exciting person I've met in my fucking life."

Hinata stared up, his eyes on the border of sparkling.

"Don't ever think for a second I'm gonna leave you because I'm _bored_ , moron," Kageyama rolled his eyes and Hinata parted his lips, to speak before his brain had the chance to catch up.

He made no noise and Kageyama lightly cupped his face between calloused palms. He pressed a long kiss onto his lips, slowly shifting away. Hinata followed his lips and Kageyama aligned his thumb against the middle of Hinata's bottom lip, watching the flesh plump out.

"You think I'm exciting?" Hinata grinned and Kageyama rolled his eyes. 

"Didn't think I would ever need to spell it out for you," Kageyama said, "you truly are an idiot."

"I'm not! You're an idiot!" Hinata's eyes flickered to the clock again, "my mum’s gonna come home soon with my sister,” Hinata said and Kageyama nodded.

“Oh. Natsu right?”

“How did you…?”

“You told me before idiot, what you think I don’t listen?”

Hinata choked on the words lilting on his tongue, “I don’t know!”

Kageyama rolled his eyes, “anyways, I should go before your parents come home,” he stood up and stretched out his legs. Hinata followed the lines of his body, admiring the sharp edges of his jaw, of the definite lines that made up the muscles that peaked out when his shirt lifted up.

Kageyama stretched out his arms and peered down, raising an eyebrow, “quit staring at me like that, idiot.”

Hinata rolled over to lie on his back. He stretched his own arms out and arched his back, feeling his bones crack, “can’t help it, you’re just so pretty.”

Silence fell between them. Kageyama peered and Hinata held his eyes. He could hear the clock ticking, could gear the seconds flow crookedly, felt the wind hit his partly opened window, felt Kageyama’s breath fall from his mouth instead of his nose.

Kageyama was dropping back down, straddling Hinata before closing the gap hurriedly, as if Hinata would disappear if he didn’t kiss him now, before the seconds flitted between the gaps between his fingers.

It hurt, Hinata’s lips were purpling but fuck, he didn’t care, Kageyama kissed with urgency, with the need not want.

Hinata thought back to the party, the night where the wind stilled as they panted against each other, lips locked and eyes hazy, his body humming and his pants tightening uncomfortably. His eyes widened in that second, feeling pressure between his legs again and fuck, Kageyama’s kisses should be _illegal._

He tilted his head away, terrified about the aftermath, the hazy thoughts that went further than just kissing.

Kageyama felt the shift, felt the sudden stillness, the strange tension and he lifted off Hinata.

“Sorry,” he said and Hinata whined, you have no reason to be sorry, _idiot,_  he wanted to say but his mouth wasn’t working. He only stuttered out meaningless murmurs and Kageyama stood up with finality while shouldering his bag. Hinata stood up and stumbled to the front door with Kageyama. He looked at the clock and frowned.

“You can stay for longer, you know?” Hinata said and Kageyama rolled his eyes.

“You said your parents might come home soon. Plus I forgot to tell my dad I’m gonna come home late so...probably gonna get yelled at.”

Hinata snorted and he grabbed Kageyama’s hand before it could reach for the doorknob. A tongue darted out and he lifted Kageyama’s hand up to his lips to press a sweet kiss on the top. His lips burned and so did Kageyama’s eyes before they fell shut as he inhaled sharply.

“You’re coming to school right? Tomorrow?” Kageyama asked and Hinata nodded.

“Of course.”

“Come early. Meet me by the lockers.”

Hinata couldn’t sleep all night, too excited to go, to see, to spend an extra hour with Kageyama.

He came too early and he sat on the cold floor, shivering as he pressed his back to the cool steel of the lockers. It was too cold, too hard but his body was humming and his foot was bouncing- he couldn’t care less.

Kageyama arrived in maybe ten minutes, scarf wrapped around his neck. Hinata gaped at him and Kageyama stilled, to scrutinise him right back. He lowered his head to bury the bottom half is his face in his scarf to smile, he wasn’t slick, Hinata could see the way his eyes lit up, the way his eyes twinkled.

He sat down next to Hinata, hissing at the cold seeping through his pants.

“How the fuck are you sitting here?” Kageyama asked, “it’s so fucking cold.”

“I don’t care, I was excited,” Hinata shrugged.

“Excited for?”

“To see you, idiot.”

Kageyama lowered his face again into his scarf and Hinata giggled. He folded his legs and drew his knees close. He leaned on the tops of his knees to stare at Kageyama.

“You’re so fucking embarrassing,” Kageyama said, looking away and Hinata laughed louder.

“But you like it,” Hinata teased.

The halls were empty, devoid of loitering students or white noise. It was serene. Calm. Filled with the chaos of the two talking, their bickering and soft voices echoing through the hollow lockers.

Their thighs stayed pressed together and Kageyama rested his hand on the top of his knee, open as outlined the events that occurred during that one volleyball game Hinata happened to miss last night.

“How did you not even watch it?” Kageyama asked, unable to fully comprehend Hinata’s reasoning.

“I don’t have the channel, stupid! I told you!”

“Tell me how I managed to watch it when I don’t have the channel either?”

“I don’t know! You knew about it before, right?”

“Yeah ‘cause I’m not a dumbass.”

“What the hell are you implying?” Hinata hissed and Kageyama fixed him with a deadpanned glare.

“If you don’t know what I’m implying then you really are a dumbass.”

“I know what you were implying, Tobio, it was a rhe- rhet- rehorical question!”

“Rhetorical.”

“Yes! That word.”

Kageyama rolled his eyes, letting the argument seep past the gaps between his fingers.

Hinata stared at Kageyama’s hand, how it laid open palmed, ready for Hinata to slide his fingers through. He looked at the ends of the hall, for students trudging around under the influence of sleep. He kept his gaze straight before slowly dropping his hands to rest on top of Kageyama’s.

Kageyama tightened their grip and they both sat by their lockers, asses aching against the hard floor but cheeks blushing rouge.

“I miss meat buns, they’re my favourite.” Hinata declared.

“Meat buns?”

“Yeah, I’d always get one after volleyball practice in Japan,” Hinata reminisced. He looked back at Kageyama, wavering at the silence, “oh, meat buns are these- these doughy bun that-”

“I know what meat buns are, dumbass!”

“Great! Have you had any before?”

“No,” Kageyama answered, “they’re not common to find here. Plus mum doesn’t make cultural food as much.”

“Really?” Hinata gawped, “what does she make then?”

“I mean she does, sometimes but most of the time it’s like...pasta or whatever.”

Hinata tapped at his chin with his unoccupied hand, “we should go to Japan one day- you have to try meat buns and- and _tamago kake gohan_ \- it’s my favourite!”

“I thought meat buns were your favourite.”

“Yeah- they’re both my favourite!”

“You can’t have two favourites, that defeats the purpose of it being your favourite- pick one.”

“I- you can’t just-”

“Pick one.”

Hinata pouted before picking tamago kake gohan and Kageyama pindered offhandedly.

“I’ve always wanted to try those- those egg dishes, fuck, what’s it called?” Kageyama clicked his fingers, trying to recall the name.

“What? _Tamago kake gohan?_ ”

“No, it’s the omelette- _tamagoyaki?_ The fluffy kind.”

“Fluffy _tamagoyaki?_ ”

“You cut it in the middle and the egg just fucking oozes out…”

“Oh! _Omurice_! That’s _omurice_ , hey, I can make that!”

“You can?” Kageyama turned to face Hinata.

“Come to my house, I’ll make you one.”

“Yeah? I-”

“Tobio! Hey! I-” Juno picked up speed to stand in front of the two boys, grinning at Kageyama. Her gaze flickered to their joined hand and they both flinched away.

“Um, hand was cold,” Hinata excused and Kageyama grumbled.

“O-oh,” she nodded shakily, “anyways, Tobio let’s walk together!”

“Why?”

She paused at her next word, not expecting a question.

“I- do I really need a reason to walk around with you?”

“Yes.”

“Then...I suppose I wanna spend more time with you,” she smiled and Hinata raised an eyebrow and glanced at Kageyama, waiting for a response for Juno’s blatant flirting.

“Uh,” Kageyama looked at his nails, “I’m busy.”

Juno jerked back, her smile ripping off her face and she blinked rapidly before her blinks slowed down, until her eyes were staring wide and drying.

“Wh- with what? You’re not even doing anything.”

“Are you blind-? I’m talking to Shouyou,” Kageyama snapped and she flinched back. Hinata covered his mouth with his hand to smile before he cleared his throat.

“Oh. Um, ok? I’ll see you at lunch…then.”

Hinata grinned at Kageyama before sticking out his tongue, “I feel bad for her now, you’re totally playing with her feelings, she’s gonna hate you.”

“Don’t care,” Kageyama shrugged before looking at his phone.

“Harsh, Tobio, you’ve grown so cruel,” Hinata sighed dramatically before dropping his head to Kageyama’s thighs. Kageyama flinched, startled at the proximity. He dropped his phone and Hinata laughed.

“Idiot, people are beginning to come here,” Kageyama sighed, looking around. Hinata’s eyes darted too before he closed his eyes, going completely pliant on top of Kageyama’s legs.

“Oi, get up.”

Hinata rolled his head to the side, pretending to not hear.

_“Oi!”_

Second period rolled by and Hinata swivelled around to lay his arms across Kageyama’s desk. Kageyama stayed on his phone, tapping away aimlessly. Hinata sighed and rested his cheek against his palm.

“Stop staring,” Kageyama droned, eyes still locked on his screen.

“Make me,” Hinata shot back and without warning, Kageyama palmed his face away, before aggressively clicking his tongue in peak annoyance.

“Idiot, I fucking lost my game,” Kageyama growled and Hinata pouted.

“That’s ‘cause you suck,” Hinata pointed out, ducking when Kageyama went to backhand the side of his head.

Hinata turned away, watching Kageyama ignore him in favour of his game and he tucked his chair forward, catching Ellie’s eye.

“So you two made up?” she asked, leaning over the gap between them and Hinata raised an eyebrow.

“There was nothing to make up, it’s- it’s not like we were fighting.”

“I’m not blind, Shou,” she rolled her eyes and Hinata’s heart thundered and he wondered if she knew about them, about what _them_  really meant, about-

“You look less...sulky.”

“Do I?” he pondered and she poked his nose before squishing his cheeks with a hand. She nodded before her eyes flitted over his features, curiously and he hummed, used to such bouts of scrutiny.

“Shou, I wanna put makeup on you,” she sighed and he gawped at her, confused and a little frazzled.

“Ha? Why?”

"‘Cause! You’d pull it off so well, come on, would you let me?”

Hinata leaned back and he thought about it.

“What kind of makeup?”

She pulled up pictures on her phone and as she did, he looked around the room, wondering when the teacher would come in, it’s been ten minutes already.

The pictures were...were amazing of course and he asked if she could really do something like that. To that, she looked offended, _how dare you question me_ , and Hinata laughed.

“If I can look like that then sure, I wouldn’t mind,” Hinata giggled and she pinched his cheek hard enough for it to hurt.

“Ow! Why?!” He yelped, grasping at his red cheek and she laughed, squealed something about him being cute but her words were slurred with too many emotions.

He leaned back into his chair, feeling his back ache from leaning over so much. He felt his chair shift back, back, back and he whipped around to look down at Kageyama’s feet which were wrapped around the legs, pulling to bring Hinata closer.

Hinata stubbornly kept his face forward, flinching at the whine of the chair legs scraping against the smooth floor. The back of his chair hit the front of Kageyama’s desk.

“Shouyou,” Kageyama breathed and Hinata kept his eyes trained on the clock atop the whiteboard. Kageyama growled again and Hinata crossed his arms over, grinning slightly before coughing into his fist, trying to keep his face clear from any stray smiles.

“You’re so annoying,” Kageyama prodded and Hinata whipped around, eyes blowing into saucers.

“Yeah?! Well you’re-” Kageyama slammed his hands on either sides of Hinata’s face, squishing his cheeks as far in as they could go. It was bold, it was slightly painful, it made Hinata glow crimson.

“...You’re more...annoying,” Hinata finished weakly and Kageyama rolled his eyes, snorting.

“You’re stupid.”

“Is that the best you’ve got, _Kageyama-kun?_ ” Hinata mocked, pushing his hands away. Kageyama stared, eyebrow quirking up dangerously.

“Excuse me?” Kageyama’s voice dipped down lower and Hinata flinched slightly and waited for him to say more, add to his chilling question.

Hinata covered his mouth as he giggled, “you don’t have anything else to say, _Kageyama-kun?_ ”

“Wh- I-”

“ _Kageyama-kun. Kage-kun,_ ” Hinata said aimlessly before his eyes widened in a sudden epiphany, “ _Kage-chan!_ ”

"Don’t call me that!” Kageyama roared, slamming his hand down and standing up. Ellie jumped up, startled by the sudden commotion and Juno stared from the front, eyes flickering in concern.

Hinata stood up too, laughing like an idiot, as if he thought of the funniest joke ever invented, “ _Kage-chaaan_ ~” he giggled. He reached forward and pinched Kageyama’s cheeks, murmuring about his cuteness in a voice both mocking and endearing.

Kageyama swiped at his head, “I’m gonna end your bloodline, shrimp.”

“What did you call me?” Hinata gasped, grabbing onto Kageyama’s hand before he could hit him again, “how dare-”

“Oh, sorry, sorry, did I say shrimp? I meant _chibi.”_

“Did you just call me _chibi_ \- I’m not short, you stupid ladder! You’re just tall!”

Kageyama laughed, “what?! What kind of excuse it that, dumbass? Everyone in this classroom is taller than you,” he sat back down and Hinata loomed over him, his fists resting on his hips.

“So everyone’s just tall.”

“You’re just short.”

“No!” Hinata sat back down with a pout and Kageyama grinned before crossing his arms on the table. He rested his chin atop the back of his wrists to peer up at Hinata.

“It’s part of what makes you kinda…” Kageyama floundered for a word, “cute, I guess.”

Hinata beamed slowly, “you saying I’m _kinda_  cute because I’m short?”

“No,” Kageyama’s entire face was creeping with pink, red, cherry, “no, I said it’s part of it.”

“Uh-huh,” Hinata raised an eyebrow and he leaned on Kageyama’s table, “well what’s the rest of it?”

“Huh.”

“What are the other parts of my ‘sort of’ cuteness? Tell me, I wanna know!”

Kageyama buried his face in his arms and Hinata laughed.

“We’re not talking about this.”

“Yes we are-”

“No.”

Hinata only cackled before the door slammed open and their flustered teacher came through, apologising for forgetting he had a class to teach.

Hinata filed out first when class ended and Kageyama followed, trying to catch up with Hinata’s fast steps while still keeping is steps steady in the crowd.

“Slow down a bit,” Kageyama snapped.

“It’s not my fault, I’m just a fast walker.”

Kageyama snorted, “please, I’m faster than you.”

Hinata stopped completely to guffaw up at Kageyama, “I’m literally on the track team!”

“Yeah, and?”

“Are you saying you’re faster than _me_ \- the guy who won bronze against two other schools?”

“I would’ve won gold,” Kageyama shrugged and rolling his eyes at Hinata’s affronted eyes.

“Where is this coming from?!” Hinata yelled and he was walking faster. Kageyama walked just as fast, hands resting in his pockets and soon they were running through the halls, dodging blocks of students and stray teachers.

They stopped when they made it outside and Juno waved at them, trying to catch up. Hinata sighed and pointed at the bathroom doors and to the building on the opposite side of the sitting area.

“There, to there,” Hinata commanded, dropping his bag, “whoever wins is the fastest, no complaints.”

“Obviously.”

Juno stood by the side quietly, sensing a storm and with a yell, they both charged forward, their heels digging into the pavement, sending broken rubble flying.

Hinata let out a yell and Kageyama yelled too, refusing to be outshined by Hinata. They both kept running, unable to stop in fear of losing momentum but the wall of the opposing building was coming closer and closer. Kageyama dug his heels in the ground, stopping before he could hit the wall.

Hinata crashed into the wall, his head turned away because he had seen this coming. He groaned in pain and Kageyama doubled over his waist, huffing and drinking in air. He squinted at Hinata and asked if he was ok in between short breaths.

“M’fine,” Hinata gasped, “also I won so-”

“Pffft,” Kageyama snorted and he snorted again, louder, more definite, “did you hit your head when you crashed because I most definitely won.”

“I-”

They fought over this as they walked back to the starting point, to pick up Hinata’s bag again. Juno joined them this time, sliding next to Kageyama. He paid no attention, still yelling at Hinata about the race.

“You’re an idiot, Tobio, a stupid idiot who does stupid things and acts like an idiot because you’re an idiot-” Hinata growled and Juno glared at him.

“Hey!” she hissed, “don’t be fucking rude, apologise to Tobio-”

Kageyama intervened, “don’t interrupt.”

Hinata blinked, eyes big and eyebrows disappearing into his hairline.

“That was a bit harsh, Tobio, relax- sorry on this idiot’s behalf,” Hinata excused and Kageyama rolled his eyes, _you’re too nice, dumbass._

“Yeah?” Hinata agreed, “you know what else I am? The winner.”

“I won by one whole fucking foot, you blind bitch,” Kageyama argued, stepping into Hinata’s space as a threat. Hinata only grinned, eyes flickering up to meet Kageyama’s.

He dropped his bag with finality, “rematch. At the tracks before our clubs start practice,” Hinata demanded, prodding at Kageyama’s chest with every direction, “be there or become a square.”

“Be square.”

“No you’ll be a square!” Hinata defended and Kageyama pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I mean the phrase is be square, not _become_.”

“Well whatever, you get my point.”

Juno tottered at the edge of their space, unsure if she could even intervene, interrupt, voice her thoughts.

“Um, actually, I’m just gonna...my friends are waiting for me.”

Kageyama nodded and she walked off with Hinata leaning forward to watch her leave.

“So, you’re shaving?” Hinata asked.

_“What?”_

“You called her a beard, remember? Are you shaving her off?” Hinata asked and they walked forward.

"Don’t...say it like that but yeah, I guess,” Kageyama shrugged, “also your bag-”

“Oh right, right!” Hinata exclaimed as he ran back to fetch his crumpled bag.

“Why’d you drop it anyways?”

“For dramatic effect!”

Kageyama leaned into Hinata’s side, nudging his shoulder. Hinata tipped to the side grinning as he nudged back.

Practice flew past and the day ended with no more races. Sunset drifted atop the two, bringing in the rush of cars and the pale light of golden hour.

Their teammates waved them bye as the two separated into the parking lot. Hinata sighed, grinning wildly as he glanced back at Kageyama.

“What?”

Hinata giggled, “nothing, just...today was a good day.”

Kageyama ruffled Hinata’s hair and drew him close, “yeah?”

Hinata hummed and they stopped in front of Hinata’s bike. Hinata touched the handle lightly, his smile still lingering on his lips.

“Today wasn’t...hard was it?” he asked, “was it hard being, you know, just...normal with me? Without pushing me away?”

Kageyama lightly swatted at Hinata’s shoulder, as if to shake the worries away, “it wasn’t hard.”

Hinata stayed still, smile overstaying its promise and Kageyama weaved his fingers through his orange locks.

“I’m glad.”

Kageyama was staring at him strangely when Hinata finally caught his gaze. His eyes were soft, swirling with indigo nebulae and seafoam that shimmered gold under the pink sunset. He crowded around Hinata, his head blocking off the sun. He leaned in closer, his breath trembling and his lips slick with lip balm and maybe sweat.

“You hypocrite,” Hinata laughed, voice gentle, “I thought you wanted to keep things a secret, we’re still in school you know.”

Kageyama rested his forehead against Hinata’s, eyes fluttering closed. He nudged at Hinata’s nose with his own and pressed a lingering kiss on the corner of Hinata’s mouth before ducking down to catch his bottom lip which stuck out in a pout. Hinata laughed into his mouth and Kageyama jerked back.

“We’re in public dummy,” Hinata whispered and Kageyama ran his knuckles against his cheek.

“Don’t care.”

“You’ll care if we get caught,” Hinata grasped the hand by his cheek and he pressed a quick kiss into Kageyama’s palm, his eyes still locked onto the indigo nebulae.

With a smirk, he licked Kageyama’s palm, laughing when Kageyama predictably stumbled back, disgust replacing the look of quiet affection. Hinata followed him as he crept back and he wrapped his arms around his waist, squeezing tight enough to leave Kageyama dazed and in some sort of pain.

“Hey, _Kage-chan_ ,” Hinata started and Kageyama rolled his eyes at the name, “are you free this Saturday?”

“Sure.”

“I wanna take you out,” Hinata declared, digging his chin into Kageyama’s chest to peer up at him. Kageyama curled his fingers around the hair at the back of his head and pulled hard enough to drive Hinata’s head back and his body into a sharp arch. Hinata backed off pouting and rubbing the back of his head.

“Take me out, huh?”

Hinata tackled Kageyama into another hug, because he could and Kageyama huffed, annoyed but not annoyed enough.

“Yep! On a date, to be clear. I’ll pick you up at- at 12- no, 11,” Hinata’s voice was muffled in Kageyama’s shirt but he stayed buried in Kageyama’s scent, his fingers twitching to grab more.

“Ok, where are we going?”

“Don’t know,” Hinata popped off and he hurried to his bike. He twisted at his lock, fumbling to get the combination right. He swung his leg over and straddled the seat before turning to Kageyama, beaming, “but I’m gonna spoil you lots.”

Kageyama choked at this and he took a step forward, almost angry, “not if I spoil you first, _dumbass_ ,”

Hinata snorted into his hand before breaking down into fits of laughter, “shut up, stupid, you can’t win this,” he giggled, “just like you couldn’t win against me at running!”

“Fucking lies-”

“Shit!” Hinata shrieked, eyes suddenly wide and Kageyama felt his own eyes fall still in alarm.

“What?!”

“We forgot the rematch!”


	5. love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK THIS ENDS HERE!!!!! this was a ride it wasnt meant to be this long but it just,,,, happened. i hope those who read it liked it, i genuinely don't know why i wrote this but i hope the content was at least enjoyable.

“Isn’t this pretty? Tobio, look,” Shouyou nudged a pendant in Kageyama’s direction. He tilted it back and forth, trying to catch the light on the reflective material. Kageyama hummed in response, eyes darting to the pendant in his own hand.

“That’s really pretty too,” Hinata commented, watching the swirls of yellow sparkle between Kageyama’s fingers and Kageyama nodded, the tips of his fingers trailing the chain that held up the pendant.

Hinata walked over the the shelves behind Kageyama, staring at the charms held together by magnets and thin rope.

The shop was quiet, almost mystical and Hinata had dragged Kageyama in, demanding they get their fortunes read.

It was far from a fortune telling store, it was a jewellery store, selling anything and everything useless but worthwhile. Hinata had stayed entranced for maybe ten minutes and Kageyama had tagged along, pretending to be bored but Hinata would catch him every so often admiring the cut citrines nestled into crests of gold.

The lady watching over the shop was quiet, and perhaps startled by the sight of two teenage boys, one with a glare as strong as the whiskey hidden behind her shelves and the other with a smile playful enough to lilt her lips up.

Hinata glanced back and watched Kageyama hang back the pendant he was studying with too much attention and he spun to stand by Hinata, hands fisted in his pockets. The window laid open atop the shelf and golden light streamed onto Kageyama and Hinata grinned, slow but sure.

He was lucky, he was so fucking lucky to be dating Kageyama.

The taller boy looked beautiful under the aureate heat. White outlined his features and his eyes seemed hollow, seemed full, Hinata could see through them- God Kageyama was so _beautiful._

He stared unabashedly at the curve of Kageyama’s neck as he tilted his head up, his eyes glowing like raw crystallines. His eyes drew to the residue of pink on his cheekbones and the bottom lip caught between his teeth.

He quickly looked back to the shelves when he felt Kageyama’s attention shift towards him and he busied himself with the sapphire charms. He tried to control his grin, hold it down, feign indifference but his lips only wobbled and he drew a palm over his mouth, to breathe out the happiness he felt bubbling through his throat.

He sighed out a soft smile before he grabbed at a turquoise charm, reading off the meaning underneath it.

“Stones have meaning,” he voiced his epiphany and he peered more closely at the letters, “turquoise...hey, it’s for protection and it get rids of negative feelings.”

He looked back at Kageyama, to stare at him more only to find Kageyama gaping at him, mouth slightly parted and eyes trained heavily.

“I- what is it?” Hinata asked, flinching back. He touched his face, a little self conscious- was there food on his mouth? Sauce stains? Maybe his hair was messy- or messier than usual.

He asked what was wrong, once, twice but Kageyama had looked away, dragging his teeth across his lower lip as if he was pained.

“Do I have stuff on my face? Just tell me, is it sauce? I shouldn’t have gotten the extra-”

“No idiot,” Kageyama sighed, “you just...you just-”

“What?” Hinata asked, worried and he touched his cheek, more self conscious.

“You just...you-” Kageyama sighed again before clicking his tongue against his teeth, “fuck, nevermind.”

Hinata frowned quietly, a little unsure about his appearance, maybe he was sweating too much-

"You just...I feel sick looking at you, right now.”

Hinata’s eyes widened and he turned his eyes back to the shelf in front of him, feeling his heart enlarge in his throat, cutting off his speech.

“That’s really mean,” Hinata laughed bitterly, “maybe you shouldn't look, then.”

“No- dumbass- feel my heart,” Kageyama grabbed his hand and placed it over his own heart and Hinata frowned at the hard thuds echoing through Kageyama’s chest.

"Huh, are you ok?” Hinata asked, concerned and Kageyama looked back to see if the lady was looking at them. She was reading a book, eyes fluttering closed every few seconds and Kageyama turned back.

“Stomach feels weird too- but I’m not actually sick, just...when- you standing-”

“What are you trying to say?”

“You looked...so- so... _pretty_.”

Hinata’s eyes widened even more and his eyebrows disappeared into his hairline before he barked out a laugh.

“I’m serious,” Kageyama said, almost angrily and Hinata laughed harder.

“Well, why’d you say it like that?” Hinata asked before pushing his hair into his eyes and feigning a mock frown, “ _‘the sight of your face makes me sick enough to vom-’”_

 _“I never fucking said that!”_  Kageyama hissed, thumping Hinata’s chest.

“You basically did! Why’re you so bad at compliments?”

“I’m not bad at compliments,” Kageyama argued, defensively, ”I give the best compliments.”

To that, Hinata snorted, “I will now proceed to list everything nice you’ve called me,” Hinata cleared his throat, “you’ve called me nice, exciting, kinda cute and...pretty,” Hinata blushed a little, processing the latest compliment, “so you have given me three and a half compliments.”

“How do you even remember? And three and a half? Can you not count? That’s obviously four.”

“I remember everything you call me, stupid, why wouldn’t I? And it’s two and a half, _kind of_ cute is not a good compliment. You’re basically calling me _uncute_ , like, I could be cute but I’m not there yet, yknow? It’s very half-assed.”

Hinata looked at his watch, flinching at the time.

“I told my mum I’d be home an hour ago,” Hinata groaned, “fuck, I think we should get going.”

“I...wai-”

“Hold up, I want to buy something before we leave,” Hinata whirled around to grab the yellow pendant Kageyama had been studying before running over to the cashier to hand the small sun shaped pendant to. He grinned to himself and he stayed grinning when the two burst out the doors.

The cold wind nipped at their noses and Hinata wrapped his scarf securely around his neck.

“Hey we should go out like this again soo-”

“I think you’re the prettiest in our year,” Kageyama murmured into his scarf before he cleared his throat.

Hinata stayed frozen in his spot, unable to move, speak or even breathe. Maybe it was for the best that Kageyama never showered him with compliments, he would’ve ended up paralysed.

Kageyama paused in his step to look back at Hinata, confused to why he wasn’t skipping by his side.

“What?”

“That’s...you didn’t...need to say that,” Hinata blushed cherry, cerise- every fucking shade of _red_ and he ducked his head down, feeling his brain melt with his heart.

Kageyama trudged closer and he tilted his head up. Kageyama dropped a finger to poke down Hinata’s scarf, so his blush was free to see, to scrutinise.

“Of course I didn’t need to. But it’s what I think. And I want you to know.”

Kageyama pinched Hinata’s cheek gently and Hinata laughed, leaning into the touch.

“You’re such a sap.”

“Hey you wanted compliments!” Kageyama snapped back.

“I never said I wanted them,” Hinata clarified, “I just want you to stay by my side.”

Kageyama clenched his jaw and averted his eyes and Hinata chuckled at Kageyama’s embarrassed actions.

"But compliments are nice, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want them but- but I want compliments that are genuine. So don’t lie to me just to make me feel good or whatever.”

“When am I not completely honest and blunt with you?”

Hinata ducked his head down to huff out a quiet laugh.

“You’re right.”

They walked home in mutual peace, jesting every few seconds only to fall back into silence. The silence would pick up to louder bickering until Hinata broke down laughing. Hinata walked Kageyama home, hands behind his back and a skip to his step. They loitered outside his house, buying time, wasting time.

“Soooo, usually when dates end, the two parties involved kiss,” Hinata pointed out and Kageyama glanced back to his house, at the open windows, “but we can’t do that here so-”

Hinata brought out the small box he had bought from the jewellery store.

“Here’s my...kiss.”

Kageyama raised an eyebrow and opened the top, eyes glinting at the sight of the metallic sun shimmering under the light of the setting star. He held up the pendant, fingers lining the edges of the sun.

“When we’re alone, I’m gonna...fucking kiss you so hard your lips fall right off,” Kageyama declared and he hurriedly looked at Hinata, wondering if his declaration had somehow made him uncomfortable.

Hinata covered a grin with his hands, “yeah? I can’t wait.”

Kageyama smiled and weaved the necklace around his neck, “thank you, Shouyou.”

He had returned Hinata’s kiss with some meat buns he had learnt to make in one night. It tasted off, in Hinata’s opinion, but he had swallowed the whole thing down before Kageyama could blink, laughing out of pure glee.

Dates once every month turned into dates twice a month and Hinata spent every waking hour wrapped around Kageyama, drinking him in and peppering him in quiet kisses.

Kageyama hadn’t kissed him until his lips fell off, Hinata had realised, in fact Kageyama barely ever initiated kisses anymore.

The sun was high over the house and Kageyama’s house was bare of parents, they had gone out on a quiet date and Hinata had jumped in, volunteering himself to keep Kageyama company.

The curtains were drawn shut and Hinata took the time to lay breathy kisses along Kageyama’s jaw and lips, his mouth open and tongue impatient.

As always, Kageyama laid pliant under him. Still. Quiet.

Void of movement.

Void of the passion he was capable of, the passion Hinata had experienced first hand during the night of the party where all was unravelled, where Hinata was unravelled.

Hinata sighed into Kageyama’s mouth and leaned away. He sat comfortably on Kageyama’s stomach and stared, curious.

Kageyama gripped at the hem of Hinata’s shirt, to pull him back but Hinata resisted.

“Tobio,” he whined, “why don’t you kiss back?”

“I- huh?” Kageyama stuttered, voice breathy and restless.

“You kissed me so- so-” Hinata struggled to find a word so he clapped, “he kissed me in such a- a ‘bwah’ way at the- the party, remember? Why don’t you...hey, why don’t you kiss me like that anymore?”

Kageyama propped himself on his elbows.

“That kiss made you so fucking uncomfortable that you ran away crying, what are you talking about?”

Hinata’s eyes widened and he shook his head, “no, no! It- it wasn’t the kiss- I was- I told you I was overwhelmed, stupid.”

“Yeah, by the kiss and then everything, like, sunk in, right?”

“I mean…” Hinata frowned because Kageyama wasn’t wrong. But he wasn’t right either, “but I liked the kiss.”

“Why’d you run?”

“That’s...that’s something else entirely.”

“What?” Kageyama tilted his head and momentarily Hinata got distracted by the curve of his neck, the lines of his collarbones-

“I...nevermind-”

“No tell me, why’d you run?” Kageyama asked and Hinata felt his body heat up, “you got weird too, when I kissed you after we made up, remember? On the floor? If you liked the kiss, why’d you get so tense?”

“It’s...hey let’s talk about something else,” Hinata said, feeling guilt and shame build up in his throat and Kageyama glowered at him.

“No, tell me.”

“I- I can’t,” Hinata said, clambering off Kageyama. He grabbed Hinata’s ankle, holding him to the bed.

“Why not? I’m not gonna judge you-”

“Yes you will!” Hinata snapped, “it’s...it’s really embarrassing.”

Kageyama sat up properly and he raised an eyebrow, thoroughly confused, “what? Did you get a fucking boner or something?”

Hinata curled in on himself, refusing to look at Kageyama and he scooted over to Hinata quickly, holding in a blush.

“You got hard you-? Did you actually? Are you serious? I kissed you and you got _hard?!”_

“Stop rubbing it in already!” Hinata yelled, “I’m sorry, ok? I didn’t- it- it’s natural, right? It is, I didn’t want it to happen right then and...but I can’t help it when you kiss me like _that.”_

Hinata laid on the bed furthest away from Kageyama in a fetal position to sulk. Kageyama leaned over him.

“Why do you want me to kiss you like that if you know you’re gonna get turned on?”

Hinata blushed red and he curled in a tighter ball.

“Because...because it was a good kiss. And it’s the only way you’d kiss me back.”

Kageyama clicked his tongue and dropped his body weight over Hinata.

“I don’t kiss you back, idiot, because all my kisses end up like... _that_. Super aggressive and intense I guess.”

“So?”

“So, I like how you kiss. I dunno, you kiss with all your emotions and...no one’s ever kissed me like that. It’s nice, I don’t want to ruin it with my intensity.”

Hinata turned around and Kageyama sat upright.

“That's such a stupid reason,” Hinata declared, “don’t you think it’d feel better if you kissed me back with your own emotions?”

“My emotions are overwhelming,” Kageyama sighed, lying on his back.

“So what? You saying you can’t kiss me softly?” Hinata challenged and Kageyama glared at him. Without warning he pounced on Hinata, lips aligning with Hinata’s clumsily, messily before he was backing up to cup Hinata’s face softly. Hinata wrapped his arms around Kageyama’s neck to draw him closer, sighing into his mouth.

It was soft, Hinata felt like he was drifting by clouds of pastel pinks and violets as he dug fingers along Kageyama’s hair. Kageyama’s breath hitched as he slowed his pace and Hinata could feel candle lights and fireflies along the outskirts of a forest fire.

When Kageyama pulled back, his lips were cherry and his eyes were clouded.

“See? You did it,” Hinata grinned and Kageyama gently knocked his forehead against Hinata’s.

He rolled over to lie next to Hinata, sighing into the air.

“You don’t think it’s gross?” Hinata asked after a while.

“What?”

“That...that I got hard. And I almost got hard when we were on the floor when we made up.”

Kageyama snorted and he propped himself up on an elbow to peer down at Hinata.

“I don’t care, idiot. And I’m weirdly...flattered.”

Hinata choked back a laugh, both nervous and relieved.

“I have to confess one more thing,” he breathed and he looked away, unable to meet Kageyama’s eyes, “when I got home...I- you- I- to the kiss. I jerked...off.”

Silence.

The curtains flew up and Hinata could feel light boring down on his leg. He looked up to Kageyama, at the pendant hanging by his neck, at the flex of his collarbones.

The asshole snorted and Hinata felt his cheeks glow red, from shame, anger, he shouldn’t have said anything.

“Then we’re even,” Kageyama said.

“Wh- who- huh? What?”

“Please, I’ve beat my meat to the thought of you...I dunno, sucking my dick or whatever.”

Hinata shot up, his eye twitching and his mouth refusing to form words, proper words. He stuttered out questions, reactions and Kageyama folding his arms behind his head.

"How can you just say that...?"

“Does that make you uncomfortable?” Kageyama asked and without hesitation Hinata shook his head.

“Good,” Kageyama set his jaw, “I’m gonna kiss you how I want to next time, and I’m not letting you run away.”

Hinata shivered before setting a hand against Kageyama’s stomach, feeling his muscles clench under his touch.

“What happens if I…” Hinata twisted his mouth into a pout, “if I get hard? Again.”

Kageyama bit into his bottom lip and he dragged his teeth over it, “guess I’ll have to do something about it, then.”

Hinata licked at his lips before leaning in closer, his hands splayed on either sides of Kageyama’s head, to cage him in. He slowly moved to close the gap, lips ghosting over Kageyama’s jaw.

The front door slammed open and both the boys sat upright, heart beating against their chests twice as fast.

“Tobio, we’re home!” A voice rang out and Kageyama swore under his breath.

Dates bled into sunsets and Hinata brushed the ends of his fingers over Kageyama’s when their shoulders nudged together.

Hinata had met Kageyama’s parents, they were sweet and he asked how Kageyama turned out so crude and mean. To that, they laughed, called him cute and Kageyama kicked his shin.

They asked him to stay for dinner, _you should bring your family, one day_  and Hinata had nodded, excited.

Juno would stand on the bridge of their friendship, peaking through canopies to stare at Kageyama, at the chance she thought they had. She grew to resent Hinata, he realised after she would prick him time to time with glares but he understood, from her perspective, he was in the way.

He backhanded Kageyama’s shoulder when it was only them in the volleyball court, the others drifting out to rest against the water fountains and chat through heavy breaths.

“What?” Kageyama growled.

“Stop leading her on,” Hinata grumbled, “it’s unfair for her.”

“I’m not leading anyone on,” Kageyama defended and Hinata only sighed, they both knew he was lying.

Juno asked Kageyama out before he could do anything and Hinata watched from the sidelines, arching his back during his break.

He stared at the two upside down, Kageyama still looked amazing and Hinata closed his eyes, trying to pick up their conversation.

“Just to clarify,” he heard Juno say, “are you not interested in me or dating in general?”

“You,” Kageyama replied and Hinata flinched on her behalf, “um-”

“But you were so...with me- like- fuck, why did you give me hints?”

“I didn’t give you any hints?” Kageyama scowled at the ground and turned his head. Hinata couldn’t hear the rest so he flopped to the ground, breathing heavily after running for so long.

“Anyways, sorry if you felt like I led you on, didn’t mean to,” he caught and the rest was blur. Juno didn’t cry, she only scowled and walked away with purpose and Kageyama came by to sit next to Hinata.

The lingered in silence and Hinata inhaled sharply.

“Your parents gonna be home this afternoon?” Hinata asked and Kageyama huffed.

“Nah.”

“I’m coming over.”

The afternoon ended slow, Hinata sighed into Kageyama’s bed before rolling around some more.

“Holidays are coming up, _Kage-chan,_ ” Hinata pointed out and Kageyama grunted, phone burning in his hand.

“We should go somewhere,” Hinata decided, “like the movies, what’s on these holidays?”

“Dunno,” Kageyama shrugged, lying on his back adjacent his pillows. Hinata pouted before clambering to straddle his chest. He leaned his head in to look at Kageyama’s screen upside down. Kageyama stopped scrolling through his instagram feed as Hinata’s head was in the way.

“Move, dumbass,” he droned and Hinata swiped, opening the camera. He took a stupid photo and Kageyama let him, watching him giggle as he swiped through the filters before deciding it looked better without one. Kageyama saved it after a while and Hinata snatched his phone.

Kageyama didn’t argue, his fingers crept up the fabric along Hinata’s thighs as Hinata scrolled through his apps, his photos- because he could.

Hinata was quick, dawdling longer but rushing, waiting for Kageyama grab his phone back. His smile dropped as he found his way through Kageyama’s playlists.

“That’s so cute, you named a playlist after me?” Hinata laughed and Kageyama’s eyes widened to an alarming width. He sat up abruptly, knocking Hinata off as he lunged for the phone.

“Ok give it back, you dumb-”

“Why? I wanna hear the songs you saved for-”

He pressed the first song and Kageyama roared at him, swiping at him for the phone. Hinata laughed and dodged, listening intently through the harsh movements.

“This song is kinda,” Hinata chuckled, rushing through the room as Kageyama tried to chase him, “it’s kinda sexy, is this what you think of m-?”

Kageyama lunged for Hinata, catching him finally and ramming him against the door. Hinata faltered, fingers pressing another song. Hinata huffed and he gripped Hinata’s wrists in both his hands, pinning them to the door behind Hinata.

The phone slipped out of his grip as Kageyama’s eyes bored into Hinata’s

The next song was dripping with more sensuality, with more seduction pouring out of the bass thrumming through Hinata’s veins.

He closed his mouth, gulping, trying to find words but he _couldn’t_ \- he couldn’t speak with Kageyama staring at him like _that_. He had his jaw set and intent brimmed over his eyes, angry intent that had lost its anger.

It reminded him about the night where they both lost control, clambering over each other for control, only to melt back into docility as they sucked bruises against lips.

“Tobio, what do you think about,” Hinata paused to lick his lips, “when you listen to these songs?”

Kageyama seemed to lose the last tendrils of embarrassment lingering by his cheeks and his eyes narrowed to slits, sharp enough to choke Hinata.

“Stuff you don’t want to know,” Kageyama said, gulping and Hinata jutted his chin out, eyes flickering to rest on Kageyama’s lips before rising back to meet his eyes.

“I want you to show me,” he whispered and Kageyama lunged in, closing the gap violently almost.

He let go of Hinata’s wrists to run his fingers along the shape of his jaw to clutch at his hair, pulling his head back sharply and biting at his bottom lip.

Hinata moaned through hazy stares and tilted his head, his lips falling pliant with soft exhalations that Kageyama swallowed with too much greed, with too much lust.

He wrapped his arms around Kageyama’s neck and brought their faces closer, closer than they already were and Kageyama ran his tongue along the seams of Hinata’s mouth before delving in. He could feel the edges of his tongue, the cold metal of Kageyama's metal stud, the warmth of his gasps. Hinata bit back chokes and Kageyama groaned into him, his hands falling down to encircle Hinata’s waist.

He scratched at Kageyama’s back as Kageyama bit sharply into Hinata’s bottom lip to slowly drag it out. His eyes fluttered open as he let go of Hinata’s bottom lip, watching it bounce back into place, swollen and dirty with red.

He moaned at the sight and he shoved a hand under Hinata’s shirt as he ducked his head down to bite into Hinata’s neck and the collarbones that shifted with every clench of his jaw.

Hinata bit into his knuckles, suddenly aware of how fucking _noisy_ he was, the sounds of his voice mumbling out of his slick lips, the rambles, the babbling that switched from English to Japanese to a strange mix of both.

He arched his back, moaning into the back of his hand as Kageyama’s hands rose higher and higher and his bite lingered for longer and longer.

“Tobio,” Hinata gasped, voice raspy with _need_  and he clawed at his back, “ki-kiss again- more-”

Kageyama leaned back up and traced Hinata’s lips with his tongue, watching in amusement as Hinata leaned further in with an open mouth, trying to catch his flitting tongue.

“Tobio- more-”

Kageyama engulfed him in another kiss, drawing in Hinata’s air until tears welled in his eyes, until his shorts grew tighter with need, with tension and he dug his blunt nails into Kageyama’s back, feeling all sorts of red.

He was drowning. Drowning under the overwhelming scent of Kageyama, the scent of ultramarine blue and azure, the scent of 3am under the onyx ocean, the scent of _danger._

The door rattled when Kageyama hooked his hands under his thighs, lifting Hinata up with ease. Hinata shuddered, feeling his knees grow weak. He hungrily attacked Kageyama’s lips, until Kageyama was telling him to _slow down_ \- he wouldn’t, not ever.

He forced his weight on Kageyama, forcing him to stumble back, further and further until the backs of his knees hit the edge of the bed. They fell together, lips still locked, drool still slipping down their chins, cheeks almost burgundy with need.

Hinata popped off, breathing through his open mouth and Kageyama flipped him over, pinning him to the mattress.

He stayed closed, his nose brushed against Hinata’s jawline, the line where his neck connected along his shoulders.

He leaned away, his eyes flickering over Hinata’s swollen lips, the way his cheeks darkened in colour, the pupils that stayed dilating, that stayed blown into the colour of gold.

“Fuck, Shouyou,” he breathed, “you look so _good_.”

Hinata’s heart stuttered and he choked on his next words, startled, frazzled, brimming with _affection_  and maybe _more._

Kageyama was one to talk, Hinata thought. His dark hair was messy, forehead peaking through. He could see where his fingers had been, where he had tugged, where he had pulled. His eyes were narrowed, fitted with lust and his lips were coated with Hinata’s taste, his memory and Hinata couldn’t handle it,

He moved his head to the side to muffle his groan into the sheets underneath him, fuck, Kageyama was so _unfair._

Kageyama tilted Hinata’s head back to catch his moan in his mouth, savouring the breathy keens, the rolled eyes and jerked hips.

He trailed his lips down, down until they were resting on the skin peeking out from where Hinata’s shirt rode up.

“Tobio- no- not...there-” Hinata breathed, trying to shove Kageyama’s head there but it was too late anyways.

Kageyama stilled, his eyes trained on Hinata’s shorts, on the obvious tent.

“You really did get hard,” he whispered, almost to himself.

“What- you thought I was lying before?”

“No, just...it’s surreal.”

“Stop looking,” Hinata whined, shoving at Kageyama’s head again, “maybe I should go-”

“No!” Kageyama yelled, “I mean, not like you’re...alone.”

“Alone? What?”

Kageyama didn’t say anything, he sat up on his knees, looming over Hinata. His eyes drifted down Kageyama’s stomach to settle on the bulge.

“You too…”

Hinata dragged Kageyama forward by his neck, sucking at his lips, bruising his collarbones and they both melted together, rocking hesitantly, sighing through arched backs, shaking from their high.

They both finished in their pants, sweat glistening off their temples, lips scorching red and bruised, bitten.

Kageyama looked- he looked so _pretty_  lying under the sunlight, eyes closed as he panted, his tongue darting out to lick over his bruises.

“Again,” Hinata demanded and Kageyama whipped around.

“Wh- now? We just? My pant feel fucking gross.”

“Well take it off.”

“You take your pants off.”

Neither did but they had their hands on each other the next day and twice the next week. Hinata’s track mates stared at his legs sometimes, grinning at the misplaced hickeys lingering along his thighs and Hinata would think about how they got there, how Kageyama had bit into the flesh between his muscles, how he tasted to Kageyama.

Sometimes Kageyama would get impatient and drag Hinata to the storage room during breaks, sucking Hinata’s lips numb, tugging at his hair, skimming fingers below his waistband.

Hinata’s track mates caught sight of the bruises along Kageyama’s neck- bruises he tried too hard to hide.

Their smirks slipped off and they glanced at each other, confused but in mutual understanding at the same time.

The year bled into summer and Hinata had vowed to spend extra time with Kageyama, despite Kageyama’s fake whining.

“As if we don’t spend enough time together,” Kageyama said and Hinata frowned.

“Your point is?” He asked, curling into Kageyama’s side as he swiped through YouTube recommendations on his phone, “if you don’t want to go out just say so.”

“I want to go,” Kageyama said quickly and Hinata huffed, triumphant.

“Good,” he yawned, “I’m gonna take you to the theme park, I heard there’s gonna be fireworks.”

Kageyama lowered his phone as Hinata planned with himself.

“But if there are fireworks, Natsu would want to go and she’ll ruin everything,” Hinata contradicted, “fireworks won’t go for one day, right? If we go as a family then I’ll go on the first day and then I’ll take you on the second.”

Kageyama hummed, his arm tightening around Hinata.

“But then I would’ve seen it all, it wouldn’t be completely _“gwAH!”_ you know?” Hinata melted into his side, his voice muffled around Kageyama’s chest.

“But then again, everything’s “gwah” with you so,” his eyes fluttered closed and he fell into stillness. He liked days like this, where days were drawn out and lazy, where Kageyama’s parents relaxed downstairs, refusing to bother them.

Where Kageyama would brush his fingers along his neck, almost secretly. His fingers combed through Hinata’s hair and he sighed, it felt nice.

Kageyama was affectionate in quiet ways like that, he’d trace his foot up Hinata’s leg during History class, his face indifferent but his hands impatient. He’d file Hinata’s nails during breaks when there was no need, Hinata wondered if it was his excuse to hold his hand in public. Sometimes he’d send him songs under quiet messages like “reminds me of u,” and it’d be a dumb song, something stupid and Hinata would laugh, his heart billowing with affection.

Then he’d send slower songs, about chasing suns and Hinata would swoon, Kageyama was so unfair.

Sometimes Hinata would fall asleep after study dates, and Kageyama would run fingers through his hair even though he didn’t really need to. He’d press kisses along Hinata’s temple and trace shapes along his cheeks and lips under the assumption that Hinata was drugged with sleep.

Hinata was awake most of the time, forcing his eyes closed in mock sleep so he could feel Kageyama’s touch linger, feel his secrets, his affection.

Kageyama would hold his height over Hinata sometimes, refusing kisses, refusing to lean down so Hinata could catch his lips only to surge down after ten minutes.

It was unfair and Hinata thinks he’s in love.

Who could blame him, Hinata thought, it was impossible not to love Kageyama, the boy who would say he could palm read just to touch Hinata’s fingers, just to hold his hand. The boy who would call him stupid, idiot, moron as he kissed along his sides; the boy who would sit beside him quietly just to watch the sunset through his window together; the boy who would pinch his cheek and mumble “cute,” under his breath, as if it was a secret.

Hinata is most definitely in love.

“I found the video we were looking for, by the way,” Kageyama murmured when Hinata woke up. He pressed a kiss against his shoulder.

Hinata got a job before he could properly plan the date. It was by the lake and the shop sold both ice cream and milkshakes. Kageyama said it suited him and Hinata beamed, tying up his pastel blue apron.

Tania and Ellie liked to visit when they could, which was often enough and Hinata’s employer would berate him for getting distracted so easily.

Business would roll in during sunsets and Hinata’s wrists would ache from scooping ice cream at such high speeds.

Kageyama would sit by the counter, spinning around. Loitering.

Hinata’s coworker- Camila- would ask about Kageyama sometimes, do you know him? Is he your friend? Is he...single?

Hinata cleared his throat as he rolled ice cream into a small container.

“Yes, yes and nope,” he answered, handing her the container. He turned to Kageyama, “you’ve been here for 20 minutes, buy something, stupid.”

“Do I have to?” Kageyama asked, leaning into the palm that propped his head up, “vanilla, then.”

Hinata clicked his tongue against his teeth, “you’re so boring-”

“Your fucking face is boring, dumbass, vanilla is the best- it- it’s _simple_  and delicious, so shut up.”

Hinata clutched the scooper to his chest, shocked by the defensive tirade.

“Alright, chill…”

Kageyama didn’t chill at all.

Days melted into more days and Kageyama existed to stare at Hinata through narrowed eyes.

Kageyama had gotten him yelled at three times for getting distracted and Hinata had palmed away Kageyama’s face, go home already, _I don’t want to get fired._

Kageyama stayed, smirking into his hand.

He had wanted a free cherry and Hinata bit back a laugh, his voice dipping down after Camila left to the backroom.

“Tobio, no, I actually don’t want to get fired.”

“One cherry.”

“No-”

“One cherry.”

Hinata sighed, oblivious to his angry coworker flitting past, leering down at his head.

“You have to pay me, I can’t give you free cherries.”

“Yes you can. Give me.”

“You haven’t bought anything all day! You need to buy it!”

“I thought I had special privileges, you promised me privilege,” Kageyama argued and Hinata leaned in, slightly panicked.

“Those privileges don’t apply here, are you stupid?”

“Then what’s the point of having privileges?” Kageyama pouted and Hinata couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re such a baby,” he looked around, to see Camila by the cash register, “fine, but you only get one.”

He picked a cherry from behind the glass wall and slid the stem between his teeth. He whipped around and rested his elbow on the counter, leaning in smugly and propping his chin up with his palm.

“What,” Kageyama stared and Hinata laughed around the stem.

“Here’s your cherry,” he grinned, “it’s free.”

Silence.

There was no movement.

Camila snorted into her palm and Hinata looked over to see her rolling her eyes.

Kageyama leaned forward to catch the cherry between his teeth. Hinata stilled, his eyes blown wide and Kageyama smirked around the bite. He tugged back, pulling the cherry from the stem cleanly.

Hinata stayed dumbfounded, cherry stem sitting bitter against his tongue. His cheeks were the same shade of the cherry juice seeping past the corners of Kageyama’s lips. He darted his tongue out to lick it away and Hinata faltered.

He looked at Camila who was stuttering on his behalf and she looked away, frazzled, as if she caught sight of something she wasn’t meant to see.

Hinata glared at Kageyama, at his hypocrisy, at the way his lips pulled into a sure smirk.

“Stupid!” He declared before whipping away to the backroom, to calm the thunderous thumps against his ribs that thrummed too fast for his brain to properly comprehend.

He told Kageyama off when they walked to the parking lot together.

“I thought you wanted to keep things a secret, idiot,” Hinata snapped, “that was so- you’re gonna get us caught, you know.”

“It was worth it,” Kageyama decided after a beat of silence.

“You’re ridiculous,” Hinata rolled his eyes, “if people start finding out, it’s not my fault ok?”

Kageyama rolled his eyes before Hinata clambered onto his moped.

Riding through the streets with Kageyama was probably the highlight of his day. He’d lean back into Kageyama’s chest, feel him clench all over as if he was nervous, or overwhelmed. He’d runs fingers along Kageyama’s hands when they paused at the red light because he could and Kageyama would run his fingers along Hinata’s hair, pulling his fringe out of the way so he could see Hinata’s upside down eyes.

Lamp posts passed, sunset filtered to indigo hues, leaving the musk of orange behind as a reminder of the wilted day.

Hinata’s parents said nothing about the theme park, about the fireworks and as the day rolled by, Hinata grabbed for Kageyama’s hand to race to the theme park.

Kageyama’s pendant slapped against his chest with every step but before they could really go anywhere, Kageyama tossed a box over to Hinata.

“For you,” he said. Hinata raised an eyebrow and slid open the box, eyes glinting at the pendant residing in the middle. It was surrounded by periwinkle paper- the same paper that held the pendant he gave Kageyama.

He picked up the necklace, the light glinting off the mountains held in night. Silver glinted off the sides of the mountains and Hinata grinned.

He looked back up at Kageyama, his eyes twinkling with gold as joy rolled off his trembling body.

Kageyama looked away, clearing his throat, “kiss for a kiss.”

Hinata laughed and hugged him tightly, pressing his face into Kageyama’s chest as he _squeezed._

“It’s so pretty! Did you get it from the same shop?” Hinata asked and Kageyama nodded, dragging Hinata into a walk as he clasped the chain around his neck.

“It was the matching pair. For my necklace,” Kageyama explained, “which is dumb, the matching one should be a moon.”

Hinata snorted, “maybe they wanted to be creative.”

The theme park was crowded but not crowded enough for Hinata to whine. He dragged Kageyama through different mini games as he waited for the lines around the rollercoasters to clear out.

“You do realise that when the people are done with the rides, other people are just gonna replace them in line,” Kageyama pointed out and Hinata stuck his tongue out.

“Whatever, win me something!” Hinata clapped his hands and Kageyama rolled his eyes.

“Why don’t _you_ win _me_  something?” Kageyama countered and they bickered for a good five minutes.

Hinata tried winning a polar bear plushie for Kageyama who watched patiently. He didn’t win, he failed completely somehow but that earned him a plushie slug.

Kageyama laughed as they walked away and Hinata scowled, “do you want it?”

“No, I don’t want your pity slug,” Kageyama said and Hinata glared.

“I bet you’d get a pity slug if you played,” Hinata pouted.

_“Excuse me?”_

“You heard me, you’ll probably do so bad they’ll give you the bear out of pure _pity.”_

Kageyama whipped around and paid for three rounds. He won at the last round and he received a duck instead.

He deemed it was better than the slug.

“You didn’t get the bear so you don’t win yet,” Hinata pointed out.

“At least I got _something_  that wasn’t out of pity,” Kageyama countered with too much rage nestling in his voice.

Hinata had nothing to say so he stayed quiet, festering in his own annoyance.

A plushie pressed against his cheek after a beat of silence and he turned around to see Kageyama pressing his duck against him.

“Here,” he said, voice soft, “it’s yours. Won it for you, anyways.”

Hinata let out a sigh before laughter bubbled out of his lips. He took the duck gingerly before looking at its enlarged features. He glanced back at Kageyama, smiling.

“I’m gonna get you a better duck.”

Hinata didn’t. Instead he earned a monkey without a tail, a gun that shot bubbles and a snort for when he lost against Kageyama three times in a row.

“Again!” He yelled and Kageyama rolled his eyes.

“Idiot, let’s go on rides,” Kageyama glanced at the rollercoasters.

“I want to get you a duck,” Hinata pouted and Kageyama nudged his hip against his.

“You can do that again later- now let’s go before the lines get even longer!” Kageyama grabbed his wrist before pulling him along the sparse crowds.

Kageyama kept pointing to the height limit and wondering out loud is Hinata was tall enough. To that, Hinata kicked his shin, cheeks red with impulsive anger.

Hinata began praying under his breath when he buckled down and Kageyama raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t know you were religi- _AH!”_ The ride took off and Hinata burst out laughing, choking on the wind and his screams.

They were both vibrating when they stepped out, their knees buckling and they grabbed onto each other, despite Kageyama’s annoyed huffs of, “I’m fucking fine, dumbass, I’m _fine.”_

Three rides later, Kageyama kept throwing stray glances at the large teacups that spun softly. Hinata dragged him to the ride, grinning. They were separated as the teacups were brimming with children. Kageyama tried to wait with Hinata who only shoved him up.

Soft music began playing as the teacups churned and Kageyama spared glances at Hinata, feeling strange as children veered away from him, scared.

Hinata began laughing and Kageyama snapped his gaze to him, confused.

Hinata kept laughing, clutching his stomach and bringing his phone out to take a video before doubling over again. Kageyama tried hissing at him, “what?!” but the children flinched further in.

He stayed silent, eyes trained on Hinata at every turn, at every spin and Hinata wiped tears from his eyes, his hands shaking as he pressed record.

Hinata stumbled into the ride by the next turn, settling next to Kageyama for the second round.

“Why were you laughing, dumbass?” Kageyama asked, pouting.

Hinata giggled before reaching up to flick at Kageyama’s protruding bottom lip.

“Because! You’re just this- this tall brooding guy sitting all grumpily in this ride that is going _so_  slow and is filled with toddlers! It’s such a ridiculous scene!” Hinata laughed, leaning into Kageyama. He felt Kageyama freeze and he looked up to see Kageyama staring down at him, his lips tight but his eyes so, so soft.

It was an emotion he couldn’t put a finger on, something more than simple affection, something more complex, more sincere than attraction.

It was nice, being stared down with eyes mended with molten jewels, eyes that held promises far greater than _permanence._

Hinata looked away first. He glanced around before sliding his pinky over the top of Kageyama’s fingers on the seat. Kageyama responded by laying his hand on top of Hinata’s and Hinata pulled his hand out from under to lay it over Kageyama’s again until they were fighting.

Hinata laughed again before melting in Kageyama’s side.

“I wanna go on that big rollercoaster after this,” Hinata declared and they did. Twice.

Hinata tried corn dogs for the first time and Kageyama clicked his tongue, wiping sauce from his cheeks. They walked through the grassy areas, bathing in the light before Hinata checked the time.

“Holy h- it’s 3 already!” Hinata gasped and Kageyama checked his phone, in case Hinata was wrong. They sat against a tree, wiping sweat from their foreheads and drinking their sodas.

“Never usually like coming to theme parks,” Kageyama stated and Hinata tilted his head.

“Really? Why?”

“Don’t know, not much fun by yourself,” Kageyama shrugged and Hinata grinned.

“Soooooo is it fun with me?”

Kageyama stared at him before rolling his eyes, “idiot.”

He took a long sip of his drink and Hinata glared, affronted.

“What does that even mean? Answer the question, at least!”

“The answer is obvious, you idiot, you think I’m having a bad time?”

Hinata grinned, knocking his knee against Kageyama’s, “thought so.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“Because it’s nice when you say you like my company,” Hinata drawled, “makes me feel warm.”

Kageyama rested his top lip on the edge of the soda can, in deep thought.

“Then you should know that...this summer vacation was my favourite so far. Because I got to spend it with you.”

Hinata stared up at him, his eyes completely glazed over. His heart beat fast, then faster and faster until he couldn’t keep up, maybe he shouldn’t have said anything to begin with, Kageyama acting all shy and sincere was too much for his heart to handle.

He froze completely, falling in love with Kageyama _again_  and again. His eyes grew soft with affection and his brain collapsed into muddled thoughts.

“I-” _love you,_ he wanted to say but those were heavy words, they meant too much, it could drive Kageyama way, has the _power_  to drive him away and his brain short-circuited.

He couldn’t lose him over words Kageyama couldn’t catch up to.

“I?” Kageyama prodded, raising an eyebrow despite his cheeks burning red.

“I like you,” Hinata said instead, smiling like an idiot, “so much.”

Kageyama jerked up, his drink sloshing in the can.

“I- I already know that, idiot!”

“But I like you so much! You need to know it again!” Hinata exclaimed. He weaved his arms around Kageyama’s holding him tight, “I wanna kiss you…”

His voice was soft, innocent yet far from naive. Kageyama stared at him with an unreadable look before glancing around the area.

They were sitting far from the others but Kageyama ducked down and pressed a kiss against Hinata’s shoulder, watching the colour in Hinata’s cheeks change.

Hinata started shaking, vibrating with emotions and energy he couldn’t contain and he grabbed at Kageyama’s head, pushing it to his chest, into a hug.

“You’re so cute, Tobio, you’re so-”

Kageyama tilted his head back, so he could look at Hinata.

“You’re…” he looked away, “cuter.”

Hinata’s grip slackened and he froze again, his heart beating out of his mouth.

“You- you’re so unfair, Tobio, so _unfair.”_

As the sun dipped, they walked to the ferris wheel, hands nestled into their pockets as the warm breeze dipped lower.

“Aw, I didn’t get you a duck,” Hinata pouted and Kageyama shook his head.

“You got me more stuff, who cares about a duck? Dumbass, stop sulking.”

“I’m not sulking!” Hinata exclaimed before taking out the bubble gun he won. He shot it at Kageyama’s chest, watching the bubbles burst as it hit his shirt. Some stayed on, quivering and some reflected off.

Hinata shot more at the sky, laughing to himself and he looked up at Kageyama, only to find him already staring with the same, indescribable look.

“What?”

Kageyama snapped his gaze away, “um, nothing, um-”

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Hinata asked, grinning, “aw, do you have a crush on me or something?”

Kageyama stopped walking to stare at him, eyes exasperated.

“You idiot, we’re literally- we’re,” his voice dropped to a whisper, “we’re _dating_.”

Hinata gasped in mock shock, “are we now?”

Kageyama cuffed the back of his head.

The carriage of the ferris wheel rocked under their feet. Slow. steady. Hinata asked if he should jump and Kageyama palmed his face away.

“Ah, Tobio, look how pretty everything is!” Hinata clapped his hands before settling them against the railings in front of him.

“Yeah,” Kageyama hummed and Hinata leaned into him.

The sky was painted with aureate and cotton candy pink, birds hovered in the air, mingling with clouds and Kageyama slid his hand over Hinata’s.

“So pretty,” Kageyama murmured and he nodded. He glanced at Kageyama to see him looking at the Hinata. With an eye roll, he pushed Kageyama’s jaw until his eyes were focusing on the sky.

Kageyama grabbed onto his hand, gently before locking his gaze onto Hinata.

Hinata stared back, aware of how Kageyama swept his eyes over his slightly gaping mouth, his cheeks, his eyes, his neck.

It felt nice, being studied with such a fond look- with a look greater than fondness.

“What are you thinking, Tobio?” Hinata asked and Kageyama stayed silent.

He looked pretty in the light, his hair swept with wind and his eyes glowed.

“Nothing,” Kageyama muttered and Hinata brought his free hand over Kageyama’s chest, feeling his heart thrum all too quickly, all too thrum loudly.

“Tell me,” Hinata demanded quietly.

Kageyama sighed, “thinking about...you.”

Hinata smiled, eyes soft, _God_  he loved Kageyama.

“Yeah? What about me?”

“Nothing, just you’re really fucking gorgeous,” he looked away, eyes flickering over the sunset, “sometimes.”

“Eh?” Hinata drawled, his eyes wide and cheeks red with shock, “I- you- n-”

“Shut up,” Kageyama said quickly.

“No way! You think I’m gorgeous! Woah!” Hinata exclaimed, laughing as he blushed, “you’re gorgeous too, but you knew that, right?”

Kageyama stared him some more, eyes dripping with gentle haze, with emotions that had no words.

Emotions that couldn’t described by simple words like “affection,” or “fondness.”

Suddenly they weren’t on the ferris wheel, they were in their own dimension, on another plane where it was only them against infinity.

Against time.

_I love you._

Hinata kept his lips sealed, but he was sure his eyes were expressing his feelings, leaking his truth.

Strangely enough, the feelings glowing in Kageyama’s eyes matched his.

The ferris wheel halted  and Hinata looked around, a little startled, they hadn’t been looking at the scenery as much. He had been too lost in the indigo pools in Kageyama’s eyes.

“Wanna go again?” Kageyama asked and Hinata nodded.

He tried focusing on the sky. He tried to look at how the purple bled into orange, how the sky wavered with yellow. He felt his neck burn and he glanced back.

Kageyama was still staring at him.

He didn’t question it and he returned the stare, feeling himself melting all over again.

There were no fireworks that night, no crowds and the two sat where they did during lunch. Hinata bit into his cotton candy and glared at his watch.

“It should start now,” Hinata said and Kageyama sighed, “should start at 6pm, Friday.”

“Friday?” Kageyama paused, “idiot, today’s Thursday.”

“What.”

Kageyama hiked his shoulders up, “it’s _Thursday.”_

“No- I-” Hinata hurriedly looked at his phone to confirm.

It was Thursday.

He wailed, apologised, fumbled over his words and grabbed Kageyama’s hand, “I’m sorry, I’m-”

Kageyama turned away to laugh into his palm, his body shaking all over.

“Tobio?”

Kageyama shook his head before throwing his head back, to laugh fully.

It was nice, it was scary, Hinata loved him.

“I don’t care about fireworks, idiot, I’m here for you,” Kageyama said after he calmed down, not a spot of red in his cheeks.

Hinata spluttered, “how do you just say things like that?”

Kageyama squished his cheeks in reply.

The date had caused a rift between their relationship.

Sometimes Hinata would be reading through his texts, eyebrows furrowed in concentration and Kageyama would roll to his side to kiss the crease between his brows.

Sometimes Hinata would be humming and Kageyama would interrupt with a flurry of kisses, unrelenting, unstoppable.

It burned Hinata’s heart, made his cheeks swell red, made his eyes cross over.

“What’s up with you recently?” Hinata asked and Kageyama raised an eyebrow.

“Huh?”

“You’re so!” Hinata gestured around, trying to grab words, “kissy!”

 _“...What?”_  Kageyama tilted his head further.

“I breathe and you’re just kissing me!” Hinata exclaimed and Kageyama grabbed at his face.

“Well, can you blame me?” he asked, squishing his cheeks before pressing his lips to Hinata’s pouted lips.

“Tobi-” Kageyama interrupted him another kiss, lingering onto his lips before pulling back to stare at Hinata. Hinata opened his mouth to talk and Kageyama dipped in again, peppering kisses over his mouth and nose every time Hinata attempted to talk.

Hinata laughed and swatted him away, “idiot.”

Kageyama flopped on the bed and grabbed at Hinata’s collar, dragging him down as well.

“Um, there’s gonna be...a game. Volleyball game, this Tuesday,” Kageyama said.

“Yeah?”

“Let’s go. Together.”

Hinata sat, his hands placed against either side of Kageyama.

“Are you asking me out? On a date?” He asked, surprised.

“Idiot, we’re already _dating,”_ Kageyama said, “we’ve been on dates before.”

“Yeah! But that’s me taking you out. This is the first time you’re asking me!”

“Don’t get too excited, calm down-“

“I CAN’T!” Hinata yelled, straddling Kageyama and throwing his arms up in excitement. His shirt rode up, exposing a sliver of his midriff and Kageyama stuck his hand against the skin. Hinata doubled over, clutching Kageyama’s wrist in surprise.

“You wanna go or nah?” Kageyama asked and Hinata rolled his eyes.

“Of course I want to go, are you stupid?”

Kageyama flicked at the exposed skin and Hinata flinched back. He smoothed his fingers over the area, as an apology. His hand rode higher and higher. Hinata’s cheeks darkened and a sharp gasp caught on the edge of his throat.

“Tobio, what are you doing?” Hinata asked, his voice all too breathy.

“Nothing. I’ll pick you up from your place, on Tuesday.”

His fingers crept higher, brushing against Hinata’s right nipple and he shivered, his grip on Kageyama’s wrist loosening.

Kageyama’s hand slipped around his side and fell down, to his low back.

“O-ok,” Hinata breathed, “wh- um- what time?”

“It starts at 11 so…” Both of Kageyama’s hands nestled on Hinata’s ass, squeezing softly and Hinata squeaked, his voice caught between a sharp gasp and a confused moan.

“Oi! What are you doing?! Do you have no shame?!” Hinata yelled, smacking Kageyama’s chest.

“What, you want me to stop?” Kageyama raised an eyebrow and Hinata averted his eyes.

“I mean...no, I don’t…”

“Oh? So you like it?” Kageyama slipped his fingers below his waistband, “pervert.”

“Says you!” Hinata complained.

Not that he did anything to stop him.

Hinata checked the day three times on Tuesday. Once when he got up from bed, twice when he was getting read and thrice when Kageyama stood by his moped, waiting for Hinata to finish up.

Hinata sat at the back, his arms wrapped around Kageyama’s waist and his nose prodding into his back.

He could see red colouring Kageyama’s nape, the tips of his ears and he called him cute in Japanese, then again in English.

They licked at their ice cream as they walked to the stadium, their footsteps aligning while they sent stray glances at each other.

The game started intense and it heightened in levels. Hinata dropped most of his ice cream from throwing his arms up to scream, to cheer.

Kageyama gave him the rest, which he also dropped. Kageyama palmed his face away in annoyance as Hinata apologised while laughing.

They grappled onto each other as the sets piled on top of each other, as the ball missed the boundaries, as the ball ricocheted off red wrists and sweat covered floors.

Kageyama screamed into Hinata’s face, look at the setter, _Shouyou,_ look at the fucking _setter._  His voice mingled to Japanese and English, his phrases not making any sense at all and he was spitting, yelling, getting all too excited for a single play.

Hinata was no better, he punched Kageyama’s shoulder from his own pumps of adrenaline, not slowing down, not easing up.

Kageyama grabbed at Hinata’s hair as their favoured team began losing stamina, began losing plays and Hinata yelled into Kageyama’s ear out of frustration.

Kageyama gushed about technicality, gushed about the setter- look at his steps, Shouyou, look at his _form_  and Hinata would ramble back, about the jumps, about the run up, the blocks.

They’d talk over each other, relentlessly, bursting with far too many thoughts to stay quiet, to stay still.

Sometimes they’d fall into lapses of silence as they both stared at the court, willing for miracles to happen, willing for their team to pick up what they had lost.

They won at the end and Hinata clambered into Kageyama’s arms, hugging him all his might.

Their screams wavered away, leaving a shrill ringing to echo through their ears.

They stayed to watch other games after lunch. Hinata trembled with adrenaline and Kageyama bit into his knuckles, trying to stop himself from yelling in excitement.

“We’re gonna be seniors soon, are you still gonna be part of the track team?” Kageyama asked.

“I dunno, I love track but volleyball’s pretty exciting too,” Hinata weighed.

“Try out for volleyball,” Kageyama suggested, “with your athleticism, it’d be worth it.”

“Yeah?” Hinata grinned, “maybe I will.”

4pm passed in a blink and as they hopped off Kageyama’s moped by their house, rain fell upon them, contrasting against the stifling heat from before.

The sky was still bright, and the heat was still present. Hinata spun around, kicking around his feet to watch the water bounce away.

He ran through the streets and ran back, laughing in glee.

Kageyama leaned against the pole of a streetlight, watching Hinata with a soft smile. Hinata grinned and grabbed Kageyama’s hand.

The streets were empty, the houses were locked and Hinata ran into the clear road, spinning around with Kageyama clutching onto his hands.

“Do you wanna get run over or something?” Kageyama snapped without making any effort to pull away.

“Nothing’s gonna happen!” Hinata reassured and Kageyama turned away to laugh.

“What’s with that?”

"What?”

“You’re so...so blindly confident.”

“Am I?” Hinata raised an eyebrow before letting go to spin by himself, spraying water around.

His hair fell flat against his forehead and he glared at Kageyama who stood rigid. He told him to spin and Kageyama rolled his eyes.

Hinata clutched onto Kageyama, he looked up, a grin lifting his features.

Kageyama cupped his face and ducked down to press a soft kiss against his lips. Rain dripped down along Kageyama’s jawline to shift to Hinata’s cheek.

Kageyama’s lips tasted like rain and Hinata sighed, euphoria nestling against his ribs.

He jerked away, realising they were in the middle of a public road where anyone could stumble across them.

“That was super romantic of you, but we’re in public, stupid,” Hinata said, pinching Kageyama’s cheek.

“I don’t _care_ , dumbass.”

Hinata’s eyes softened, “you’d care if someone saw us.”

“I...wouldn’t,” Kageyama said, with stiff sincerity and Hinata blinked in surprise.

“What if that someone was from our school?”

“Still wouldn’t care.”

“What if they told your parents?”

“Don’t care anymore,” Kageyama said firmly, “I want to fucking kiss you in the goddamn rain, ok? I don’t care if anyone’s watching.”

He tried to duck in for another kiss but Hinata was smiling too wildly, with too much teeth, with too much glow.

“Close your mouth, dumbass,” Kageyama said and Hinata tried before he burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” he giggled, “I’m too happy, wait-” he tried to calm his smile. His lips wobbled as he closed them and Kageyama swooped in before he started grinning again.

Hinata threw his arms around Kageyama and pulled him in closer, deepening the kiss.

“Spend the night,” Kageyama said against his lips, “it’s getting late. Your house is far, it’s gonna get dark soon.”

Hinata grinned before nodding.

They both took turns taking showers after dinner. Hinata sat on Kageyama’s bed, wearing his hoodie.

The sleeves were long on him and the hem drooped down to his thighs. He wore his boxers underneath and he laid against the bedsheets, his body still thrumming wildly.

Kageyama stumbled into the room with a towel over his head and a robe around his body.

Hinata flipped upside down on the bed, his head dangling off the edge as he craned his neck up.

“Ooooh~” he drawled, “are you _naked_ under your robe?” he teased and Kageyama spluttered.

“Obviously!” Kageyama spluttered, moving to his drawers. Hinata laughed.

“Tobio, come here,” he demanded and Kageyama sighed before sitting down next to Hinata’s head. Hinata sat upright with a bounce, the neck of his hoodie falling over his shoulder and Kageyama licked his lips.

Hinata trace his fingers along the edge of the robe that hung around Kageyama’s neck. His fingers drifted to Kageyama’s chest. His hands smoothed down lower and lower until he was skimming along unseen territories.

He looked up at Kageyama, for permission or maybe a reaction. Kageyama’s eyes were glazed over and he ducked down to kiss Hinata softly yet deeply, as if continuing the kiss from earlier.

Hinata groaned at the metallic taste of Kageyama’s tongue stud and he moved his hand along Kageyama’s shoulder, pushing the neck of Kageyama’s robe down to his elbow as Kageyama crowded over Hinata, pressing him into the mattress.

Hinata rambled into Kageyama’s mouth, whispers of “fuck, you’re so hot,” and “more, more,” drifted through Kageyama’s ears and he groaned into Hinata’s mouth.

Kageyama sat up eventually, after his chest and shoulders were properly marked with bite marks and bruises.

Midnight snuck in fast and Hinata laid wrapped in Kageyama’s arms as he traced lines along Kageyama’s neck.

The moon shone through the window and Hinata sighed.

“Moon is super bright tonight,” he commented and Kageyama hummed, ducking down to kiss Hinata.

“Shouyou,” he sighed and Hinata melted against Kageyama’s arm again.

“Say that again.”

“Shouyou.”

“Again.”

 _“Shouyou…”_ and Hinata smiled.

“Sounds so nice when you say it,” he commented and Kageyama ran his knuckles against Hinata’s cheeks.

“I love you.”

Hinata froze, his eyes slowly gaping wide. His body stilled and Kageyama spluttered before clenching his jaw, standing his ground.

“What?” Hinata asked, his voice breathy with shock.

“I- fuck- I said I love you,” Kageyama said, looking away before his eyes flickered back, strong with determination, “I love you.”

“I- do you know what you’re even saying? Those are really strong words,” Hinata said, sitting up to hover over Kageyama.

“I know, that’s why I’m saying it, dumbass.”

Hinata stared, he buffered, he lagged, his brain refusing to process the words, refusing to process the meaning.

_“What?”_

“You don’t have to say it back, obviously,” Kageyama said and Hinata shook his head.

“No, no, wait- I- do you really? Why- when- h-”

“Why would I say things I don’t mean and why do I need a reason?” Kageyama shook his head, sitting upright. He grabbed Hinata’s hand.

“What do you _mean?”_ Hinata whispered, voice soft, voice shivering.

“I mean- I mean I want to follow you wherever you go when we leave school- that I _need_  to. I wanna be the reason why you smile, I want to change myself for you- fuck this sounds gross- but I- I- fuck it, I wanna grow old with you.”

“You do?” Hinata asked, voice still soft.

“When I’m with you, I- I feel...I feel-”

“-Invincible,” Hinata finished with a whisper.

Kageyama looked into his eyes, his lips lilting up.

“...Yeah. Invincible.”

Hinata looked to the window, trying to calm his trembling lips, the rush of emotions ricocheting off his every nerve.

He looked down, his cheeks slightly wet.

“Are you _crying?”_ Kageyama asked and Hinata glared.

“Yeah? So? I’m _fucking_  emotional right now, I-” Hinata tilted his head up, to breathe before he lunged at Kageyama, knocking him down to the bed in a hug.

“I love you too, ok? I fu- I didn’t think you’d feel the same,” Hinata sobbed and Kageyama wrapped his arms tightly around Hinata. He gently tugged Hinata’s head back to pepper kisses all over his cheeks and lips.

“Idiot, how can I not feel the same? You’re the best thing to happen to me.”

Hinata sat up to lightly hit Kageyama’s chest before laughing.

“How do you _say_  things like that? That’s so unfair, I- God, _I love you.”_

And he said it again and again, until he ran out air, until the beat of Kageyama’s heart lulled him to sleep.

 

__°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°__

  


“I will pay you to switch lockers with me,” Hinata said, emphasising his point with a clap. The girl- Harper- raised an eyebrow.

“I’m good,” she said, picking at the stickers inside.

“As your senior-”

“This my assigned locker now,” she interrupted, “plus this really, really hot guy is next to me for this year, like Jesus, he’s gorgeous.”

“Yeah I know,” Hinata snapped, “that’s why I wanna switch.”

She looked him up and down, “what the- then no way. Who’s next to you? Is he hotter than the guy next to me?”

Hinata thought about the guy who was next to him for the year. He was freshman with light freckles and nervous eyes- but he was pretty cute, if Hinata looked hard enough.

“He’s pretty cute,” Hinata said.

“Cute doesn’t mean hot, now fuck off, the hot guy’s gonna come soon.”

“I will give you 20 bucks.”

She slammed her door shut, her eyes drifting over Hinata.

“50.”

“25.”

“40.”

“...30?”

“Alright, fine but you have to buy me lunch as well.”

Hinata sighed, “alright.”

As he handed over the money, Kageyama crept up to Hinata from behind and Harper’s eyes widened at the sight of his mere presence. She melted against the locker, twisting a finger around her hair, about to say hi-

Kageyama grabbed him by the waist and Hinata squeaked, startled and he pressed a subtle kiss into Hinata’s hair.

It wasn’t subtle enough and Harper’s eyes propped out of their sockets as her mouth sat agape.

“Tobio!” Hinata yelled, grinning.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Kageyama asked, finally letting go. Hinata puffed out his chest with confidence.

“I bought the locker next to yours! So we can spend our last year together!” Hinata yelled, throwing his arms up in excitement.

Kageyama stared at him with wide eyes before it settled into a glare.

“You fucking moron, I _just_  bought the locker next to yours,” Kageyama hissed and Hinata’s smile dropped.

“Are you stupid?!” Hinata yelled back, “how much did you spend?”

“Like, 5 dollars,” Kageyama shrugged, “what about you?”

Hinata cleared his throat and scratched his nape, “um, that’s not really important.”

Kageyama grabbed him by the collar and moved his face closer, “how _much?”_

“Like, ok- I- hmm, money is a social construct anyways…”

_“Shouyou.”_

“30 dollars plus a lunch.”

Kageyama let go while rolling his eyes. He turned to Harper, a glare settling on his features.

Harper stared at them, eyes flickering back and forth as her lips formed letters she couldn't properly pronounce.

“Give this dumbass his fucking money back,” he grunted and Harper nodded before fumbling over the money.

Hinata bowed nervously as he took back the money and Kageyama cuffed him upside the head before wrapping an arm around his shoulder to tug him through the halls.

“Don’t bow, idiot, you’re older than her,” Kageyama growled and Hinata scowled.

“Shut up! Don’t tell me what to do!”

Kageyama squeezed his shoulders in response.

They reached the locker Kageyama bought out and Hinata sighed, smiling to himself. He brought out his sticker pack and pressed them onto the inside of his locker door. He looked over at Kageyama’s locker and he pressed a blue heart onto the side.

Kageyama turned around, eyes soft.

He pinched Hinata’s cheek, until his cheek filled with red and Kageyama returned his smile.

Hinata let euphoria thrum through his veins, through his nerves and he stared into Kageyama’s eyes once more.

They were blue; metallic, holding the promise of cherry love and infinity.


End file.
